I had to accompany Emily to go for her routine checkup today. But because the waiting room’s so full of knocked up ladies and constipated housewives (so I presumed), we kinda had to wait at the adjacent pediatric waiting area – where I get to see plenty of crazy kids running around screaming like the world’s gonna end, concurrently reminding me about the perilous journey I’m gonna have to drag my ass through… and what kind of life that would be left for me…

In the middle of the pandemonium and self demotivating thoughts, I noticed of a nice little girl sitting on a miniscule wooden stool with an elderly woman squatting nearby… whom I supposed is her grandmother. That little girl was working on some motley puzzle cubes with full concentration, while the grandmother kept an eye on her (probably just to make sure that she doesn’t swallow a table). Then all of a sudden, the little girl turned over to her grandma and asked, loudly

“Grandma, why won’t you sit?”

Grandma instantly went beet red – embarrassed – and sheepishly answered,
“Uhmmm errr uhmmmm, grandma, uhmmmm… cannot sit…”

And the little girl didn’t even bother to ask why. Coz everyone knew why. If you don’t, then let Uncle Michael tell you why – it’s because Grandma is as big as Randy Savage “The Machoman”. Heck… grandma even has the same spiral perm hairstyle, coupled with a tight nylon tank top to reveal her doughy pair of wrestler hands, and a pair of faded eyebrow tattoo with greenish hue on it – she looked FORMIDABLE to even Randy Savage himself. If grandma were to sit on that little chair, it’s gonna fucking explode. You know why, little girl? That’s because grandma weights a few planets more than the biggest Barney you can ever find.

I was stifling myself hard not to laugh, so as not to show a very bad example to the youngs (maybe I was just being considerate, there were no kids checking me out). Man, it escapes me why anyone of that age and size, would do so much to ‘enhance‘ their physical appeal. Like, come on, what is she reckoning to get out of that outrageous makeover? A wolf whistle? A one night stand boon from a hunk? Puhleeezz… with that kind of outlook, she’ll scare even the meanest wookie! no shit holy motherfucking cow!

I’m amazed that the kid’s still fine. She’s one tough little girl. If I were to have a grandma that looks like that? I’m gonna be so freaked out, that I’ll swallow a table.