meet zed
Denizens of Earth, meet a fragment of my body - my nostril hair. His name is Zed and his life motto is “just do it”.
Now most of you would ask, do what? Well, for him, he did things that none of you people willing to do. He helps me filter out harmful particles inside my nose, preventing them from entering into my lungs and screws everything up.
Being as productive as they inherently made to be, they also always take the trouble to collect them nasty dust particles together, and conveniently sticking wads of them at the wall inside my nostrils for me to collect & dispose everyday. (Zed happens to work at my left nostril).
If it weren’t for his (& his colleagues’) goodwill, I would have breathed in heaps of foreign materials into my system and I probably wouldn’t be sitting here still breathing today. He and his dilligent group of colleagues, are not only my valuable employees, but also are my symbiotic friends. Fate seems to have arranged for us to synergize together as an integration of efficient mass, trudging through the hostile world dispatching fear, like a porcupine & its quills, a bee & its sting, a hyena & its badass teeth, a dick & its cum.
That’s how important he is to me. Or shall I say, was.
Yes, sad as I am like the rest of Zed’s colleagues, today I have to bid him an emotional farewell… for today is the day he retire from his line of duty. It was a sad news for me alright, but I didn’t plead for him to stay, as I respected his decision of retiring. He deserved the long break after all those years of hardwork.
I tried to ask what is he planning to do post his retirement - but he didn’t give a definite answer. He dawdled for a while before look up to the sky with several beads of tears rolling down from the edge of his keratinous face. That was when I decided not to press further, perhaps the old follicle needed some time to be alone and think of his idle days getting old…
But whatever his plan is, I hope he knows that should he ever feel like coming back to work for me again, I definitely would be more than glad to welcome him back with an open nose.
“Farewell my friend…” I then said to him, and he gave me his only passport photo (as above) as a memento for our friendship and he wafted off into the thin air. He’s going to be missed by fellow colleagues, mucus & boogers alike.
Wow…didn’t know u have established such a deep friendship with Zed. LOL.
“I hope he knows that should he ever feel like coming back to work for me again, I definitely would be more than glad to welcome him back with an open nose.”
How is it possible for him to come back and work for u again? If the same old Zed is back, i think he’ll be deem as harmful and his colleagues will not welcome him.
sob…sob…now i’ll have to look at nose-shit(PEE-SAI) in a different way….damn you…
I absolutely feel your pain man. It would have been great had I known him earlier. We would have much fun together.
He must have been a great guy.
Dude, u have WAAAAY too much free time on your hands! You should utilize it shopping for a crib, stroller, and baby clothes…hehehe.
Ha… sure weird way to say goodbye.
Ur deep r/ship with ur parts and spare parts make me envy…. KAKAKAKAKKAAAAaaaa…
Don’t worry mate, ZED and the rest of the zeddies are surely to leave their next generation in your nostril. Don’t believe, run a DNA test.
Damn… just now i went to toilet and just can’t stop looking at my nose hair after reading your entry today…
i can’t get that picture of your hidung bulu out of my mind… geli…
aiyo.. disgusting..
so what’s next?… pubic turn public hair story?
U should archive all these nice creative posts and share them with ya lil one in years to come….heh
you’re really full of shit. lol
I wonder what you’ll have to say to your earwax once it [they?] decides to retire…
*squint* eh you sure that’s nose hair?
lucky…I tot it was a pubic or ketiak hair…