problem child
I just learned from Emily last night, that my 14 year old niece got very depressed lately due to some social problems at school. Apparently, one of my boy-cousin, who’s of the same age as her, has been calling her ‘Chicken rice’ inside the schoolbus and she’s mad about it. And because she’s so mad about it, every other student got even more excited and now it sort of became her permanent callsign in and out of the schoolbus.
I was like “Mannnnn, Chicken Rice… what a creative name!”. Strangely enough, my niece’s name was nothing of that sort or of that may suggest anything pertaining chicken or rice. I guess some of you people are right, that when somebody wanted to aggravate you, they’ll be able to somehow pick a name to vex you off. But still, what a creative name.
This ’social problems at school’ thingy sort of triggered a string of memory burst of my good old carefree days where I played an important part in upholding the equilibrium of good versus evil. Which side I was in, you make your guess. At the age of 12, I was the epitome of all negative influences at school. A problem child. A miscreant. And if there’s anything bad that ever happens inside the class, I’d be the first to be blamed. Like, if it’s not Michael the menace, who else could it be? It’ll be so much more convenient to close the case by blaming the only meanie.
Hell yeah, how can I forget those days. I was consistently made the framing target, and that only fueled my diabolical ways even further. Unlike my niece, I wasn’t particularly anal about myself being able to socialize around. That’s because I couldn’t get along even with my own sister, and I sort of inured to the ‘hardships’ of being alone. That’s why, I never really had a good friend (I mean, a REAL good friend) in my primary schooling years, except for PukeMachine. But he’s a bit of a not-very-bright kind of person, hence I’d say he’s just plain unlucky to have met me (he could have met a four legged animal anytime, it’ll be his best friend too… no shit)
But then, I’m glad that I got along just fine in life. No I didn’t end up in jail. In fact, I did quite well compared to the majority of those teachers’ pets, and outdone many of them in life. (though I’m a bit of an antisocial and racist sometimes… especially behind the steering wheel). My colorful childhood.
Now back to my niece’s case. Upon hearing about her problems, I began to cackle like a hyena… “HAHAHHH! CHICKEN RICE! I’m so gonna use this name the next time I scold her!”. My irrational reaction triggered a series of disapproval from Emily - that I should be helping her (my niece) instead of rubbing salt into her ailing wound. She’s now completely flipped out, and according to my dimwitted sister, she might send her to see a psychiatrist if she ever starts to mutilate household animals (so I learned that not only my mom that needed the treatment…)
I guess it’s inherent in me to see people get pissed over nothing, but ‘chicken rice’ sure is a good one. Anyway, as a former school ruffian myself, I can understand that it would only intensify the excitement of her adversaries if my niece were to get riled over the remarks/name-callings. The more she gets annoyed, the more orgasmic it would be for them. So, the only way to get out of this, is laugh over it, and eventually, they’ll lose the thrill and move on to another target (or another name). And so the advice was conveyed… may my niece feel smarter already.
Having that advice given off as a trial, I think I’m ready to become somebody’s father. *pssshhh*
*****
The legendary insult I complimented (many years ago) to a fellow school bus fat-girl-student whose legs are full of mosquito bite scars:
“Hey damn fatty girl! Your legs are so full of 5 cents and 10 cents coins, that if you were to collect them together, you’re gonna get a few hundred bucks out of it!”
I think that remark scarred her deeper than the nastiest mosquito bite she has ever experienced. (and god knows how many more souls I’ve scarred in my juvenile years…)
i lived thru school as “The Boy with a thousand nicknames”. That record still stands today, bwahahaha!
same here.. just because my surname is not so common.. i guess
bong.. i remember the nickname we used to refer some of the girls in my uni, like ‘mo ku tou - mushroom head’(thanks to her great hair fashion sense) ‘wu kui - turtle’ ‘kong long - dinasour’ (no prize guessing why) and list goes on..
should tell your niece, just play along, sooner those kids will get bored. being mad just make other kids feel more excited haha!
dat’s P&P of learning the art to laugh at yaself and others.
haha… I used dat “Gor Jiam Chit Kak” insult on my pri sch mate also…….She is now a very swee zar bor already.
school kids are evil…
merciless…
wit those name teasing…
i tell u…
no wonder kids bring guns to the school and shoot the teachers, the friends and himself?
hehehhehehehe
though i was not really being called names….
because i am always the popular, the good, and the friendly one…
except for a few ‘fatty’, ‘fatso’, ‘tua pui kia’…
which i dont mind because i am fat
heheheheh
Boys are usually indifferent to what people call them. That’s because they just want to be mischievous and milk as much fun out of their childhood.
But girls on the other hand, would take things like this into their souls, bones and uterus. They’d get sleepless nights brewing their emotions and would remember those evil things you did for the rest of her life. They’re dangerous.
School bus days, every boys were given nickname, wheter you like it or not.
“They’d get sleepless nights brewing their emotions and would remember those evil things you did for the rest of her life. They’re dangerous.”
Words of wisdom
I completely agree.
It’s sad.
I think about all the people who teased me when I was small… and waited until I got big enough to beat them up… But I’m still small…
But now I think that I have a good job and am not fat, and have lots of fun with my friends. Those kids that used to tease me are collecting welfare from the government, living in hovels and have friends that only want to take advantage of them. Haha! That’s true revenge.
Holding a grudge is an artform, Michael. I find it exhilarating. Instead of telling your niece how to get over being teased, you should advise her on how to get even. Help her think of a few names to call the bully cousin. Something sophisticated and clever. In fact, any other kid will do.
It gets the attention off her and onto someone else. Remember, the best defense is a good offense. And she will also gain the perspective of a bully and see how much fun it is and why people do it. >:)
errmmm…actually i’m on that evil cousin’s side. It’s my niece who’s being such a sourpuss. Just let the kid drown… she’ll learn how to float in no time. That’s what we all do to survive.
micheal…your website is hillarious and funny. Really brightens up my day. Keep up the good work and keep ‘em vulgar language flowing, if not more..
good job, old boy..
A Fellow Penangite.