April 9, 2006

fuck

One of Emily’s friend is pregnant too. But unlike us, Emily’s friend conceived her baby through some fertility consultant – where she was required to pay a considerable amount of money to get pregnant. My mom asked about that friend’s well being while we’re having lunch today

My Mom : “So Emily, your friend conceived her baby through artificial procedure?”

Emily : “Sort of. It’s not really clear whether it was due to the medication or her own effort. Coz she has been doing it everyday during that period…”

My Mom : “Do what?”

My mom was offtrack from the frequency for a while…

Emily : “Err…you know… do it? Do? Like everyday?”

My Mom : “Do what? I don’t get it…”

That was when I chip in to save the day

Me : “Fuck. Fuck… mom. She fucks everyday”

My Mom : “Oooooohhhh ok ok ok”

I then turned to Emily

Me : “See dear? Sometimes you’ve gotta go straight to the point. Just say it… FUCK.”

My Mom : “Come on… not everyone’s vulgar like you”

But hey, look who’s more understandable here…

michaelooi  | 2-of-us  | 

15 Comments to “fuck”

  1. MorpheusX says:

    Bulls eye man!!

  2. michaelooi.net reader says:

    hmmh, sidetrack a bit, does it actually help if a couple who’re undergoing fertility treatment are asked advised by the gynae to fuck everyday. I mean the guy has to wait for around 2-3 days to restore his sperm level before he can get enough to get his wife pregnant rite?

  3. K says:

    When you speak to your mom, do you speak in English or Hokkien? (Coz my mom is English illiterate, so she may not get the word “Fuck”)

    So if you said it in Hokkien, it’d be like this…

    That’s when I chip in to save the day

    Me: “Sio kan. Sio kan… mom. Ee ta ta jit sio bhu”

  4. minime says:

    Do you really use Fuck in front of ur mother? wow.. ur mom is cool

  5. michaelooi says:

    my mom’s English ed alright. And that ‘fuck’, was conveniently uttered in English…

    pertaining the question about fucking everyday, errmmm… let me englighten you this – male sperm can be reproduced as soon as 2 hours – depending on which sex partner you’re talking about… (i’m sure many of you guys would agree with me..) ahaks!

    gimme Maria Sharapova, and I’ll reproduce by the minutes!

  6. kai hong says:

    Alternatively, one may also use..

    kongkek (trade mark of this blog), berasmara, menyambung zuriat, aktiviti membiak, ush-suh, or hush-hush.

    “Mak, sebenarnya kawan Emily itu berasmara tiap-tiap hari” ? -_-” can ah?

    “Ma, Emily’s eh peng iu ta ta jit ush-ush ?”

  7. arboon! says:

    straight to the point…

    no beating around the bush…pun intended…

    hahahahaha…

    i recently learnt a better word to use…”cho kia”…make babies…

  8. cry4freedom says:

    i guess its proper to use “having sex” instead of fuck. huhu.

  9. hahahahahahahahahah….

  10. anas says:

    hehe, right on! imagine if i have to say that to my mum, i’d say “mak, dia main tiap2 hari”…or if she still doesn’t get it, say jimak, bersenggama, kocak, konjugasi…hahaha, my mom is open minded with her adult kids…so cool…:) she’d laugh, although i would get a slap on the head for saying that in front of my little sisters, hahah.

  11. dSaint says:

    dude, do everyday better as the sperms are “fresh”. stronger to swim even though low volume.

  12. 100 says:

    speechless. I doubt my parents will be OK with that.

  13. bongkersz says:

    er mike, i dont think the guy need to wait. or ‘save’ the quality sperm until it’s ‘enough’. Anyway, fuck everyday.. whenever wherever you can do it.. is the answer hahaha! :D I read somewhere.. this couple.. they purposely calculate the most fertile day.. bla bla.. and they only fark on that particular time or day, in order to increase the chance of ovulation. But they failed, in the end they went to see the doc. 1st thing they were asked was, how often they fark? the doc. was startled to find out they fark only 1-2 times in a month (which they thought is the best day). The doc. just asked them to go back and fark more… kah kah kah!

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