April 6, 2006


When I learned that I’m gonna be a father soon, the first thing that came into my mind was the picture of an inquisitive kid who asks “why this why that” all the time – a progeny of a profoundly quick-witted and exceptionally bright person (that’s me). Just like me when I was a kid.

I was a curious kid alright. Impeded with the fact that my mom wasn’t the knowledgeable kind and it was the prehistoric era prior the invention of internet, I mostly gratified my curiosity through my own acute observations. But for some of them, I had to actually ask my mom about it (that’s because the breadwinner’s always out there somewhere winning breads, bah!). I remember one of them being the ultimate question about conceiving babies:

“Mom, how does a man and a woman conceive a baby?”. I was only 6 or so… I think.

“Son, it happens when a man and a woman sleeps together.”

“How is that possible?”

“You see, at night… when all’s quiet and still, there will be these little worms crawling out from a man’s kukuciao, and eventually they’ll make their way into a woman’s stomach through the mouth. From there, one of the worms will settle down and turn into a baby.”

“[gasp!] EWWWWWWHHHHH!!!!! So babies were originated from worms???”

Conceiving babies is nothing of that sort, so I later found, although what she explained could be my first nebulous knowledge about girls-who-swallow… But that was the understanding I carried with me through a portion of my prepubescent life, until I started elementary schooling.

I do not know why my mom refused to impart the truth to me at that time. Probably feared that I might not be able to handle it (like, I might go around making babies out of every decent parents’ daughter?). But she could have shunned me off by yelling “shut up”… that would be a better alternative than infusing me with a bogus fact.

And that was probably why I decided to model my parenting style against mom’s. I’m gonna be all honest about everything and not to avoid my kid’s inquiries (I’m gonna try, yeah). We’re in the 21st century now, and it’s not very hard to learn about things that you’re not suppose to know… so why not veer the kid into the correct direction instead? If you can’t prevent it, then control it.

The only problem with this approach is probably if I’m good enough for this. Will I be acquainted enough to quench a 21st century kid’s thirst for knowledge? At the moment, maybe yes. But I’m not so sure in a few years’ time. Who knows what the chlorine in our water and old age would do to my brain then? I’d be so intoxicated with synthetic chemicals (from the shaving cream, detergents, food, pollutions, etc) that I probably won’t even have the aptitude to sound coherent at all.

Perhaps I should just blog everything out, so that each time my kid asks me a question and I’m not in the shape to answer him/her, I’d just conveniently point him/her to MichaelOoi.net and read everything by him/herself. (and hey, if YOUR kid wants to know what Uncle Michael’s kid learn at home, you can hover over to his family-blog too).

I guess I’ll just do that. Yes I’m gonna do that.
(now if you’re worried about your kid being exposed to expletives and profanities in this blog, rest assured, it’s not going to be an issue. Like, if your kid’s able to reach my blog through the internet with ease, what makes you think he/she won’t stumble into something even more sinister than my 62% site? Like an online bestiality movement or something? Just an idea, that you should probably be worried about something more significant…)

michaelooi  | 3-of-us  | 

13 Comments to “parenting”

  1. michael says:

    thats a good idea….learning from blogs…hehehehehe

    worms crawling ? My parent wont even explain to me. Just hush me up. Learnt from friends and one of my teachers. a great guy…

  2. KK says:

    I think there’s no need for you to concern about that. Future kids of their time would probably be facilitated with super Internet technology, whereby whatever information would just be ascertained with an easy way of voice command instead of push button on their handphone. For example, they could just talk to their phone like “play Michael’s famous video clip”, then they’ll understand how baby is made. As you can see, “Naked brides” – exhibitionism are now a common feature of modern Chinese life; “Naked chatting” – where people chat online while posing naked for a web-camera; “Famous blogging” – while women have become famous by posing provocatively and in one celebrated case posting online a recording of herself having sex with a stranger. It is a reflection of the ambivalence many feel towards changes in traditional values, and it’s a planting of technology three for future use.

  3. azlin says:

    at 13 months old, my son has been pointing at things and people and say “Wat dat”. I explained everything until in public one day he pointed to a woman’s chest.

    I ignored him.

  4. Andre says:

    Yeah. Teach them about any and everything as soon as you think their minds will grasp it! As one grows older you do realise how your energy levels go down with age, so you’d better stock up on some stimulants to help you keep up with the energetic little ones! I remember when I was about 6 or 7 my mom did not allow me into the kitchen early in the morning because I would ask too many questions and tell her about my latest discoveries. Her brain could not handle that information that early in the morning. Hehehe. I do believe parents should hear out their children as much as their energy levels will allow for!

  5. Kevin says:

    Congrats Mike.

  6. crazysocket says:

    that’s call boobs my son…

  7. Yee Hou says:

    Micheal!! Full moon celebration for us!! When it comes :)

  8. einazani says:

    wahh.. excited to-be-dad. Not even born yet, and think so much.
    Anyway, congrat.

  9. Primrose says:

    My friend’s 3-yr-old girl also “wat dat, wat dat” non-stop. One day she pointed to a green creature in the story book and ask “wat dat” and I said “kro-ko-dail”. She looked at me and said “dra-gern”. I repeated and said “kro-ko-dail”. She gave a cute laugh and said “dra-gern”. I took the book away from her, read the synopsis on hind cover and DAMNIT! It WAS a dragon.

    *sigh* Children’s books these days. No good no more. Why can’t it be just classic Peter and Jane ladybird books?

  10. 100 says:

    maybe there will be another site called http://www.unclemichael.net or michaelooi.net/family ?

  11. megabigblur says:

    I had this book when I was small. Good explanations, and the cartoons are really, really funny. “Where Did I Come From? The facts of life without any nonsense and with illustrations” (don’t worry…the cartoons aren’t humsup or anything) http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0818402539/qid=1144436397/

  12. suanie says:

    “If he is not considerate enough to trim, dump him”

  13. bongkersz says:

    itulah tetek anakku..

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