Make up your mind when you queue
Be it at the ticketing counter or the overpriced-junk-food-corner… you just don’t stand in front of the counter spending 10 minutes evaluating which movie should you watch or which popcorn combo should you buy. You fucking do that BEFORE you queue, or WHEN you’re in the queue. Sure enough, yakking non-stop like a puckering chicken ass may be a common thing amongst you and your autistic kind, but for CHRIST’S SAKE YOU CAN ALWAYS DO THAT LATERRR!!!
It just pisses everyone off when you have to toll on other’s time just because you don’t have a brain to fucking decide.
Be fucking hygienic
Speaking of queues, how many times have you people encountered some guy (insert girl if you want) standing in front of you that smells like a wet table wiping-cloth from a ghetto food court? Many times for me. I do not know what’s wrong with these people, whether they have a defective olfactory function or they’re simply plain ass dirty… I’ve had many a times irked, nauseated, grossed, motherfucked by such odoriferous scumbags.
MORONS! Wear something clean next time!
Don’t bring kids to cinema
You must be hell of a retard to think that a kid would sit around quietly on an uncomfortable seat for the next hour and a half, doing nothing but to lock his eyes on the projected screen of animated insignificance… It is an undeniable fact that they’re noisy and they do incongruent stuffs inside cinemas (like singing that stupid Barney tune when the main plot unfolds in a movie…)
Just leave them at home. Or anywhere, nobody cares. DVD players exist for very good reasons, and part of it is to keep annoying misfits (like rebellious kids) out of the cinemas and confine the mayhem at home. (Man they should have imposed a minimum age limit of 15 at the cinemas.)
Be punctual
Plan your time well. Nobody wants to see your lardass silhouette fumbling across their field of view looking for seats in the dark. It’s fucking annoying.
Get your ass to the cinema at least 15 minutes before the movie starts. You don’t expect a 30 minutes journey from your house to take a perfect 30 fucking minutes. If you’d use your brain, you should be able to figure out the traffic jam factor or the lack of stupid parking lot factor… If you lack of that ability, you should just probably fucking die.
Nobody needs no commentary
What makes you think that we need to fucking hear your opinions about what’s going on in the movie? Talking/commenting out loudly inside the cinema (when the movie’s showing) is just as inappropriate as having a fellatio in front of a kindergarten.
We pay to watch the movie, not to fucking give a rat’s cheebye about what you have to say!
Behave yourself
What’s with the hootings and shits?? Are you people fucking stupid or what? I’ve seen many retarded teenagers (those with dyed mohawk or Jay Chou hairstyle), who think it’s uber cool to hoot and howl in the cinema, just because they want to impress their fellow hooligan friends.
In case you don’t know already, jerks, as much as you want to impress your spastic cohorts, you pretty much create an opposite case to the rest of the people in the cinema. That’s like, impressing a dozen of your own kind, peeve the shit out of the rest of the world… You’re simply telling everybody how fucked up you are. (your stinking attitude and that revolting hairstyle of yours).
yay! i’m the first. yup, what u say bout the cinema etiquettes are damn true. couldn’t agree more.
right on! i don’t always go to the movies, but when i do, there are always people who decide what movie to watch at the counter, what fucking idiot, furthermore, they have to summon their friends to their aid when at the counter to select a movie. wtf, i always decide before even going out of the house, and even try to book the ticket online or by phone! oh yeah, and they try to look cute and innocent while deciding at the counter. fuct.
Nobody needs no commentary -> I totally agree. Unless you took over the whole theater (I did it with my 2 friends for ‘The Day After Tomorrow’), shut up.
This story happens in the US btw. We went for King Kong and the apek tua ang moh next to me simply cant stop commenting: Aww, he wants his mummy; There he goes; wait and see another dinosaur is on its way; etc… Bloody annoying and I wish I had my friend’s BB gun with me.
I agree to all except the one bout the kids. If you wish to watch a kid’s show, then expect kids. You shouldn’t deny a kid’s right to watch because you wanted to enjoy. If you wish for a quiet peaceful screening, then yes DVD players existed for a very good reason!
Bravo bravo!!! did a fine job.. but u forgot the mobile phone and snoring pigs that fall asleep during the movie and people who starts to become a construction worker once they sit down… yada yada yada
Avatar – If you know more about Malaysians, then you’ll know that there are a lot of irrational parents that bring their kids to just ANY show.
I’ve encountered parents who brought their kids along to watch “The Manchurian Candidate”, go figure…
I’m so thankful that I do not hoot and have a Jay Chou hair hehe. There are some parents that actually do their jobs. Like mine :)
I gave up on cinemas looong time ago. Can’t join them, don’t join them…
I think you miss one also, babies.
It is annoying sometimes when out of no where i hear baby crying. I just wonder who in the right mind brings a baby to see movies?
Baby crying in the cinema…
i dunno if its a baby or 3 year old kids?
Gosh… those deafening foreign sounds really screw my hearing all the time in the cinema…
Yeah babies, I encountered a couple who brought along their baby during “Matrix: Revolution” screening. They didn’t last for more than 15 minutes… as they had to abandon cinema when their milk machine started to wail like mad.
Wouldn’t have wasted the tickets had they used a little common sense…
mike , u forgot to include this line of etiquette
DONT STAY IN THE LINE/QUEUE if you’re not gonna buy the fucking ticket.
i simply dont understand with malaysian , if a partner come to buy a movie ticket then you’ll see both of them will be at the same waiting line. It’d be better if one of them can stay out of line and do something else while the other proceed to the ticket counter.
That makes the waiting line looks so damn crowded.
I agree with what Micheal said about cinema etiques.
But weirdest one I had so far, was watching King Kong. man. there were people screaming in the cinema. OMG. SCREAMing.
so in King Kong, it was “ahhhhh” here, “ahhhhh” there, then “ahhhhh” everywhere. Goodess sake.
and I even heard a lady saying “si chai bau” (useless bastard in cantonese) during King Kong. like the characters can hear you.
Handphones ringing are just as annoying.
and clapping in the cinema. Your think you’re watching live performance ar now ?
Don , what do u mean by “people who starts to become a construction worker once they sit down …” ?
I had this rare case when I went to watch Sky Captain when Angelina Jolie is stating some dark humour. It was so funny that I laughed but one idiot in front of me seems to have problem understanding the joke actually stared at me as if I killed his mother or somethin’.
One major is the fucking handphone. The fucked up thing are those fuckers only activate the vibrator mode only they couldn’t find their dildo. More fucked up is their ringtones of Jay Chou shit or something.
there’s another one that i dislike to the extreme as well. there’re ppl who are inconsiderate enuf who actually raised their feet to the chair in front of them, be it with shoes or without shoes, i’ve seen both. those are really some freaking SOBs, not civic minded whatsoever!
construction worker in cinema = people who starts to shake their legs once their ass is seated… it makes u vibrate together with them.. makes your seat seems like an osim chair
me again, have to add something, my experience when i went to berjaya times square gsc. eating in a cinema is ok, but there was this one family, eating nasi goreng…NASI GORENG~! not the ones sold in 7E, but “tapau”ed in polysterine, like from the kedai mamak or something. what the hell…hahahaha, they even tapau teh ais…
ooh, don’t let me start on “amateur movie makers”…heh, get a cheap hotel lah!
Couples, don’t lah touch here touch there in the line. I know you’re getting geared up for some in-cinema action but don’t need show in front of me can?
good entry here, totally agree on most of it ‘cept d ones bout kids being noisy, cos my 7 yr old bro can sit quietly throughout d whole show without making any noise…
i for one, hate hate hate hate HATE those ppl who like to tell d ending.. wtf? u think i pay all tht $$ to hear u give away d ending?!! i remember one incident when i was watching ‘memoirs of a geisha’.. near d ending, this farker a row behind was telling his fren LOUDLY “nvm one, later it’s d Chairmen who comes for Sayuri, not Nobu”… shit ler… ruin d surprise element, summore i tahan dun read d novel 1st… ish… these type of ppl, i hate.
u have probably discovered the main reason why DVDs are selling like hotcakes over the causeway.