April 1, 2006

good looking eggs

Say, you suddenly have this wild idea of making your girlfriend/wife some breakfast, you know… to impress the shit out of her (because it’s her birthday or something like that).

You want it to be something good, not like a half assed effort of microwaving a cup noodle. Something more presentable. Like frying eggs. Yes. A presentable good looking eggs breakfast.

1) the eggs must not be over-fried… as such that the white part of the egg must not become a golden fritter.
2) the yolk must still in liquid form, not too raw nor too overdone.

I’m sure not many of you dweebs out there know how to fry a fucking egg… what more a good looking one (never mind about the taste, they all taste the fucking same anyway…). That’s why, you have me writing this entry here to help you out. Read on if you feel inferior already…

Equipments:
– A wok (or a frying pan)
– A gas stove (if you don’t know what’s a gas stove, go find the nearest toilet bowl, shove your head into it and flush)
– A wok chan (frying spoon)
– A virile male with affinity towards women and TV remote control

Ingredients:
– Eggs from a very good looking chicken
– Some cooking oil

Procedure:
Put wok (or frying pan) on gas stove.

Pour some cooking oil into the wok. Spread oil on wok. (if you have one of those non-stick wok/pan, skip the oil step. Just heat up your wok/pan)

Heat up wok/pan with a moderate level of fire. (if you don’t know how to switch the gas stove to moderate level, kindly ingest a box of thumb tacks).

Wait until oil becomes hot. (you can verify if it’s hot by touching the oil with your hand… or alternatively, you can just assume it’s hot when you see some faint smoke coming out of it).

Once oil’s hot, scoop up the excess hot oil from wok/pan using the wok chan.

Now turn off the stove fire and wait for wok/pan to cool down. (5 minutes would be ideal). This is to ensure that the wok’s not too hot to overfry an egg…

Crack open an egg and dump it’s content into the wok/pan. It should look something like the picture below. (if it doesn’t, swallow the wok)

Wait for 10 – 20 seconds, and flip over the egg to ensure even frying temperature on both sides.

Serve egg(s). You may add some soy sauce or salt to suit your taste.

The egg(s) should look as awesome as the picture below. (if it doesn’t, repeatedly stab yourself on the head with a screwdriver)

Notice the liquid yolk under the thin layer of cooked protein? Now THAT… is going to impress the shit out of your wife/girlfriend.

Here’s how it’ll look like when you puncture the yolk out with a fork…

Now leave the wok for her to wash… she should be thrilled enough to do it willingly without any complain…

MichaelOoi.net – makes your life better everyday…

michaelooi  | food  | 

18 Comments to “good looking eggs”

  1. kolokmee says:

    you da man.

  2. suanie says:

    shit, those eggs are perfect!

  3. Christina says:

    WOWSERS….impressive!

  4. 100 says:

    Are those the best 2 out of 10? Alrite, I am just jealous….bluek

  5. TITOKI says:

    Why the 2 sunnys are separated? Can’t you fry & join them together? ;)

  6. K says:

    Nice…

    but, what about your selsema burung entry earlier about cooking eggs/chicken till well done? Those yolks look pretty darn raw still. :P

  7. michaelooi says:

    kolokmee – I am.

    suanie – Yeah, my wife think so too… *wink wink*

    christina – Dontcha wish your boyfriend could fry such beautiful eggs, dontcha?

    100 – 2 out of 2 dude. You better be very jealous!

    titoki – And why would you want to join them together?

    K – It entirely depends on your priority, my friend. Ask yourself, which is more important to you: impressing your girlfriend or dijangkiti selsema burung? Tough choice but you only get to choose one…

  8. ricky says:

    No shits…. Don’t tell me u fried those eggs for your wife ??? Can she take it ?? I mean the half raw eggs ??? Hmmm…

  9. Rootified says:

    i love the “leave the wok for her to wash” part.
    You rocks.

  10. sTraY says:

    hey man, u’ll hafta be my sifu!!!

  11. caryn says:

    walau eh…

    seriously impressed…

    i can’t even make fried eggs look THAT good… O.o

  12. zbjernak says:

    hmmm…
    but i love the crunchy crispy type…

    is it pure coincidence that u and THESTAR both also features the way of frying a good egg?

    or u got ur idea there?

    good one…
    now someone started to cook and show it here…
    and i bet not very long when someone will changed diaper and post the procedures here as well!

    hahahahhah

  13. Random Reader says:

    Read Sunday’s (2 April) Star paper for another perfect ‘hor pau tan’ recipe. How many did you throw away before achieving yours?

  14. michaelooi says:

    The score was 2 out of 2. I took out 2 eggs from the fridge and made 2 perfect mata-kerbau out of it… (Emily witnessed the whole thing). Hehehh

    Pertaining the article in TheStar, I think it’s just a coincidence. I published my entry on 1st April (Saturday) around 7.50pm… unless I have the capability to predict the future, I don’t think it’s possible for me to plagiarize TheStar… (if I’m able to predict the future, do you think I’d use it to write an egg entry here? Come on!)

  15. Journey says:

    Good looking, nicely done. Would suggest to some curry sauce on top. Then it becomes, mata air kucing. In some places, they add kopi.

  16. Shopper says:

    Impressed. I wouldn’t know there is such a high knowledge for cooking an egg… but.. i disagree “Now leave the wok for her to wash”, can you wash yourself!!!?~~ hahaa… =D

  17. Andre says:

    Cool! Been looking for this know-how forever. Everytime I try to make eggs I burn them shitless :D.

  18. Random Reader says:

    Chill man! I didn’t say anything about plagiarizing. Your entry just reminded me of the article. Your photos look better, though.

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