I got this email from a reader. It’s kinda interesting (his question, my reply) and thought maybe someone else could benefit from this - what do I think about being an engineer (hell, alright, this is another filler post again. But fuck, it’s labour day! I needed the break!). So I decided to post this :

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From: [reader]
To: [michaelooi]
Date: Apr 29, 2006 4:36 AM
Subject: Hi I have a question

O WISE MASTER OF WORDS PLEASE BESTOW ME WITH YOUR WISDOM !— [how can I not reply this awesome guy?]

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From: [michaelooi]
To: [reader]
Date: Apr 29, 2006 11:46 AM
Subject: Re: Hi I have a question

Just, don’t worry too much. You’ll be fine. Cheers

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I know, I didn’t answer his question directly. The fact is, there’s no answer to this. If I have an answer for anyone to have a good career, I would have been a successful person by now. But look at me, I’m short of a few wire bonds towards being a complete package of IC. Let alone to populate an intricate network of schematic diagram.

Engineering isn’t fun. It’s fucking hard. It’s fucking frustrating. It’s fucking ridiculous. It wouldn’t be that good if it’s easy… alas, nothing’s easy. (even pimps have their dilemma). But what’s left in life to be enjoyed if it’s without some challenge?

Have a happy labour day, workers. (though the only thing to be happy is to get more $$$, duh)

最初张贴在2004 年5月19 日。 这是repost 。 我今天是太疲乏对blog 。

*****
* 我的第一性。. 如此, 这当然将是lonnnnggg 和明确地被选派的岗位。.. underaged 男孩和女孩。….呆在外面! 成人— 读在您自己的谨慎。..

她是17 和因此是我。 我怎么遇见了她? 很好, 我遇见了她在客栈。 这是墨德斯托的由海。. 我能仍然记住。 她高。.. 有长的flowy 头发, 和会做全部女孩妒嫉的一对水罐(行, 大小是34C 。. 我以后发现了) 。

她是以她的束女同性恋的朋友做macarena 在dancefloor — 被炫耀与一支白色管– 并且我是以其它朋友(男性lah 。.). 当我第一次看见了她, 我立刻知道, 我得到得到这个女孩。 她得到了天使的图。.. 并且看那么effervescently 华美。锋利的眼睛, 高的面颊, 公平的脸色。.. 好象它日本制造。

我采取了我的行动由提供给她买饮料(您知道。.. 标准老corny 把戏), 她接受。 她起初行动了傲慢, 但在迷住她以后与一些我愚笨的笑话, 她作为她聊天的伙伴最后接纳了我(那shit) 。 她甚而介绍了我给一些她女同性恋的伙计并且我们一� ��喝了。井。.. 他们是全部有点儿好。. 您知道。.. 许多笑声和所有那。

我们相当一起喝了一会儿, 直到突然, 她告诉了我她想有步行在海滩得到一些空气。 很好, 没有等待, 我志愿伴随她(是在鳄鱼心情我是。.) 对夜海滩。..

明显地, 她告诉了我, 她对啤酒是过敏的和开发了一些疹在她的面颊– 哪些是为什么她想得到一些空气使它冷却下来。 我们走了和聊天了20 分钟。.. 享受彼此的公司。.. 当她突然问我如果我能做她厚待。 她告诉了我, 几乎所有她的伙计醉了。.. 并且没有能驾驶回到夜的他们的被租赁的公寓。.. 因此, 她会希望我的帮助驾驶所有家。

很好, 不想要辜负一张可爱的面孔, 我同意帮助她。 它不是在所有她的伙计来自客栈和朝向对汽车之前, 所有一半被喝。我要求我的朋友驾驶紧密从后面和拿� ��我家在我搭载了女孩之后。 然后, 我驾驶她的Volvo 240 与5 个一半被陶醉的女孩一起(包括她自己) 回到他们的公寓。 她是那个谁坐在前线与我(引导我maa 。..) 和休息睡觉了在后座。

我驾驶在一特殊舒展路当她突然要求我把变成左连接� ��。 用快速的反射, 我猛拉指点做一个前个详细的轮。.. 哪些做了她的投掷往我的方向(G 力量maa 。.) 因为她没有佩带seatbelt 。 我偶然地接触了她的boobs 在我承认的过程中(这感到有点儿好。..) 和那是当事滑稽继续。 我们有点儿喜欢”点击” 互相那里。..并且自动地拥抱。 从那片刻, 我知道。.. 我充分有领域的金黄玉米收获那夜。

在我停放了汽车之后, 我消失通知我的朋友留下我是。.. 并且我回来了回到女孩。 我伴随他们由他们的公寓决定和那里保留了。我不知� ��为什么我做了那但, 它是好象某一声音从天堂告诉我停留。 所有女孩(incl. 她自己) 然后进入一他们的卧室碰撞。.. 两三他们对洗手间到约克在他们的酒精胆汁之外。 我留给单独在他们的客厅, 然后我帮助了自己与一些冷水从冰箱当检查地方。

两三分钟以后, 她来自她的卧室和拥抱了我一紧的。 我不性交知道什么是所有关于但。.. 我相信, 那大概是原因为什么我停留了。我们然后互相亲吻了( 它是我曾经遇到了的一个最甜的亲吻。.) 和开始登高入她的室的方向。 正确那时, 我的心脏实际palpitating 象疯狂。.. 抽的高被迫使的血液入我的整个身体。.. 并且做我烧伤在火里。 这是我的做这样的co 课程活动的第一次与女孩。.. 一个了不起的看的女孩在这种情况下。.. 几乎一个陌生人。.. 并且确定地, 为我的少年头脑, 是某事我会从未作梦做。我感到同时惊吓和好奇。.. 该死。.. 它是很困难描述。

它不是在我们关闭了门在我们之后和碰撞了她软的床� ��前。 是一个无经验的男人那时, 我不会进行。. 但潜水直接入她有为的boobs, 与衣裳。 我是笨拙有点儿多余的说。.. 并且满足我的反常行为由嬉戏在她的胜利胸罩(我附近 疏松了她的管没有问题) 。… 并且亲吻她。.. 并且喜跳。.. 并且亲吻。.. 喜跳。.. 亲吻。.. 直到它是一样乏味象观看青苔增长在sloth 的迪克。

这是我然后决定得到更加冒险。 我试图解开她的胸罩和想检查怎样美妙的对异乎寻常� ��牛奶容器会看如没有它是盖子。 但我有一个问题。从未做了任何如此物前面, 我不能得到她的胸罩解开。.. 我大声几乎咒骂了当激情将把变成失望。.. 直到她帮助我解开他们。它是象打开珍宝胸口的一个� ��的盒盖。.. 显露heapful 闪耀的珠宝里面。 她的财产视域是欲死欲仙的。从未有我被看见任何很� ��好在我的生活中。.. 它是惊人的。.. 肥满和粉红。… 并且我开始爱抚她的对。…oh 我的神。.. 这是那么该死明确的。

无论如何, 我们抚摸了和互相宠爱了当滑剩余我们的臭弹。 它感到笨拙起初但, 我一会后习惯了它。 感觉是温暖的。.. 我的皮肤摩擦反对她光滑的皮肤。. 并且我是缜密的在擦试和探索每一英寸她的身体。 去幻想。.. 去想像力。 我发现了所有我的答复在同样夜。

然后, 它来了到她太热的以至于不能处理的零件。. 并且艰苦劫掠我在肩膀。.. 那里她自动地给自己定位在我顶部。 我是是无经验的。. 但我不是愚笨的。 我知道, 我们有来了到porking 的点。 象什么我一直察觉通过我的朋友和色情电影, 我试图插入我的插座入嗅到有点儿滑稽的她的被润滑� ��插口(。.). 但它不是一样容易象I 想法。 我不能得到它! 我意味, 我不能发现插口! 它是无处被发现!

我恐慌了起初, 毛毡同时困窘。 这是她然后请求我”您的第一次?” ..哪些我反应了由点头。 她让短的嘻嘻笑。.. 并且然后开始递指南我的插座入她的插口。 什么其次发生了是完全难以描述的。 我一次大概染黑了每一会儿但。… humping 的部份是精采的。在那片刻, 它做了我忘记了什么的进来在我的世界里。. 并且我享受每位它。

coitus 零件是相当长的, 大概因为酒精出现。 我们做着它充满充分的激情虽则。. 并且我能告诉那从呻吟声, 她做了。 它继续大约5 分钟。.. 直到我突然有一滑稽的感觉在我里面。 它是象”可浮起的” 感受。. u 知道。.. 并且”更加可浮起” 我感觉, 我的rpm 快速地去。

天气热的直到对我知道的点”事” 来自我的蜥蜴。 非常快速地。 从快的反射(作为总), 我拔去了我的起重器和开始卸载我的坚果的内容她的� ��体。 象一个F1 司机用特大香槟在指挥台, 我炸开了黏性液体淀粉我的洪流(被丰富与维生素和矿 物) 到处屋子。 它抹上了在几乎一切在视线内, 帷幕, 梳妆台, 她使用了内衣在门, 她的宠物软玩具, 窗口之后。.. 一切。 屋子看起来象好象某一雪风暴艰苦击中了地方。.. 并且那是我体会, 收获的季节是最后结束。

不逻辑? 听起来表面? 您正确! Coz 它是真正地表面的! U 认为我真正地去blog 关于我的”第一sexperience” 这里? 您是什么想法的人? 谁在他们正确的头脑里会blog 关于他们的第一性? 进展。..

它是所有真实的直到女孩请求我的帮忙拿来他们家的� ��件。 我实际上chickened 那时。 并且那是对此。 (我认为我以前提及了这里面Doc 的论坛) 。 休息, 我弥补了我自己。.. coz I 今天有没什么对blog 。

*****
hahahah goddamn, my first sex in mandarin. Somebody tell me if the translation’s accurate….
to those who don’t read mandarin, I’m sorry, neither do I… ahaks!

In MSN today…

titoki : Do you read books to your baby?

michael : emily reads the baby story every night and sings to her. i read a story to the baby once

titoki : Actually it’s good for the father to talk to the baby too. to get familiar with your voice. to bond with you. don’t read it once, read it everynight. it’s your duty. do you know why kids are closer to their mom? coz the mom talks a lot. dad is like wood. so i hope you can read more to her, sing to her even, it will help to foster a closer ties and relationship. and it helps her to recognise your voice too

michael : but … i don’t want her to be close to me ….

titoki : u are one weird dad. why not?

michael : not until she’s old enough to go to the toilet herself!

titoki : LOL

michael : i’m smart. i’m gonna fucking blog this.

I had been asked many hundreds of times before - how did I propose to Emily? Well, let me quench your curiosity once and for all here:

I did it at a mall. It all started as an ordinary outing with Emily, but prior that, had arranged with a horde of Banglas to help me out with a plan (I fucking paid them). Just when we strolled past the center court of the mall at the right moment, the Bangla extras leapt out of nowhere and I started to dance with them ala Hindustan movie style. We sang and rolled on the cold marble floor and ended the ostentatious show by popping the big question “Will you marry me” with a stalk of rose in my hand - that’s how I got her.

Perfect, isn’t it?

elements of surprise - check
public attention - check
uniqueness of event - check
flowers - check
big question - check

If only I can act that ridiculous… As some of you may have already guessed, yes, I made up the whole thing. For those of you who actually dug the whole fictional account above, you ought to have your brain checked.

The fact is, I never proposed. There never was any decision whether to get hitched. I guess it’s a mutual thing… you know, we kinda saw us spending the rest of our lives getting old together. And then, it sort of happened, just like that - we tied the knot (there wasn’t even any wedding reception).

Bland and unromantic, some of you may say. But for us (for me), romanticism is just a matter of individual perception. When you’re really in love, everything is romantic. It’s not really about flowers and wines and posh restaurants (you get the idea). Those are just some common paradigm made popular by the movies and romance novels. Like platform shoes and hairspray in the 70’s, these exclusive practices became the very ‘in’ thing amongst the ladies (only that this stays evergreen)… and are often used as a standard to stereotype men, if he’s … ~~~oooooh!~~~ romannntic.

And because of strayed perceptions like this, most of us guys are forced to jump into the big bandwagon of deceit, where we’ll have to fork out fuckloads of moolah just to get an evening right, to placate the girl in the mood to say the much expected “yes”. No you can’t simply propose “Will you marry me?” in an eat-all-you-can greasy BBQ outlet wearing a wife beater exposing your double patch of furry armpit. You’ll be rejected flat because you’re “not sincere” enough.

Get this straight:
you in your comfy clothes behind an inexpensive setting of atmosphere = NOT SINCERE
you with wine and stars in the sky, with white rose and a poetic prose = YES SINCERE

which makes it:
years of supposedly being in love together = unimportant, neglegible

what the fuck??

Sadly, that’s what happening in today’s world. Some people expect things to happen, and when they didn’t get the romantic proposal they wanted, they get upset unnecessarily over the relationship. The question is, shouldn’t they be looking at the bigger picture instead? Like, a treasurable relationship instead of just a good proposal to determine everything?

But what do I know… I’m just an engineer. My mind is smudged with transistors and capacitors, my heart’s stiffened with years of radiation from the monitor. In that case, I’ll just let you people judge - if the act of proposing is compulsory for a guy, even when one’s already been together for yearrrrssss and mutually decided to be each other’s life partner (and more important to that, what if the guy did not propose? Should a girl just fucking dump him? Should the act of proposing be a gating criteria for one to accept a marriage?)

Maybe we should just take a shot to change the society here… hmmmmmmm…

Just the other day, I saw this piece of advert at Tesco - a picture of a couple of yokels wearing this asphyxiating grin, each holding a stick of toothbrush with some squeezed paste on it. Green tea flavored toothpaste, it said. Yeah, green tea flavored toothpaste. (WTF!?!?)

I mean, can you believe that? Green tea toothpaste. If that isn’t bizarre. Like, how many kinds of product have you noticed out there that are ‘green tea flavored’ or has an exclusive variant of green tea? Innumerable. First, it was just the food. Green tea flavored mooncakes, green tea flavored biscuits, you name it. Then came the scents. Green tea fragrances, green tea scented shampoo, green tea scented hair gels. People just can’t get enough of green tea… that they have to apply it on themselves. (there’s once, I picked up a female friend wearing a green tea fragrance… almost made me dive out of the car)

And now, even our toothpastes are green tea flavored. Goddamn. I wonder what next… green tea flavored condoms? Hell yeah girls, fellating your fuck buddy wearing a condom will never be the same ever again… for you’re gonna get pinkier by savouring heaps of anti-oxidants from the green tea goodness on the french cap… all the while giving your partner the much desired sexual gratification. No more expensive Japanese restaurants.

How about toilet paper that was made of recycled green tea residues? Unlike any other regular toilet paper, it’ll not just only make your poo part from your puckering asshole, but it’ll also leave a trail of aromatic green tea microscopic lint around your ass - creating a haven of Zen down there, absorbing positive Chi and balancing your Fengshui (shits like that). Imagine how delightful and delectable it would be for your girlfriend/boyfriend, if they were to ever engage an Australian kiss with you, and suddenly to discover the unexpected green tea surprise.

Flex your own imagination, people.

I wonder what’s with the obsession about this whole green tea business. Why not something else? Like beef jerky flavored toothpaste (that’s at least better than green fucking tea)… or beer flavored mooncake? Why can’t a tea just be a tea? Why would anyone opt to have their hair smell like… like… green tea in favour of those nice floral scents? Is this somekind of a sinister biological plot by the Japanese to take over the world? Or are the aliens behind this?

Nobody knows. Only time will tell, whether we’ll all get over it… or are we gonna evolve into some exotic herbivores that eat and shit green tea.