*If you’re a minor, would you kindly fuck off.
1st Level Analysis Report (MichaelOoi.net Inc)
Subject model
- the same hot chick
- 5 ft 5 to 5 ft 7.
- Late 20′s.
- Executive level workforce.
Problem statement
Ignorance in selecting proper attire at workplace may cause occupational hazard.
Team members
MichaelOoi (Investigations, Chief Gynaecologist & Report)
Ken (Espionage Specialist)
Observation
- Subject appears to have synthetically dyed hair, color of what appears to be a match of Pongo pygmaeus.
- Heavy presence of chemical on subject’s face.
- Subject is wearing a cropped beige blouse a size smaller than her recommended size.
- The above garment is paired with a complementary beige colored mini low-slung flare skirt, which is also a few sizes smaller.
- A large flab of abdominal lard is visible at the region in between both undersized clothing article.
- The flab is estimated to consist enough energy to light a blubber lamp for approx. 2 weeks.
- The relatively short miniskirt also exposes a significant area of subject’s inner thighs, which appears to be dominated with convoluted networks of varicose veins.
- Observation from Espionage division : Subject is wearing a pair of black lacy undergarment, which has it’s upper hem protruded above the miniskirt waistline.
Analysis & Risk assessment
- Both undersized clothing articles are insufficient to cover the subject’s vast properties of dunes and ravines, creating a void at the middle section.
- Due to the sarcoid nature of the subject, the pliant tissues of the abdomen compresses at the lower section and oozes forth at the upper side at the waistline of the undersized miniskirt, creating a revolting illusion of flabby ‘spare tires’.
- Prolonged exposure to the afore said illusion may induce loss of appetite, insomnia, cardiac arrest, permanent blindness, dementia, stroke and even brain damage to the gawker.
- The tight low-slung miniskirt, in the meanwhile, could impede the bloodflow to the subject’s nether region – which in turn, might render the subject paraplegic. An extended period of restricted bloodflow may even render her clitoris or rectum gangrenous.
Corrective Action(s)
Assuming that both the conflicting clothing articles are to stay:
Subject would need to suppress the lard tissues from bulging out at the center void of the body. This can be achieved by either means of following process:
a) Expensive solution – By cinching the waist with a tight fitting corset. The reinforced inward clench of the corset will push the fatty tissue inwards, spreading it evenly across the torso, displacing the lards to the subject’s bosom and derriere. This in turn, would shift the gawkers’ attention towards the subject’s mammary funbags and hindquarters department.
Warning: This would however, only divert the original problem to a less critical level. Prolonged exposure to abnormally large bosoms/hindquarters are known to cause deterioration in natural reflexes, hindering workplace productivity amongst male employees.
b) Cheaper alternative – The same advantage of wearing a corset, however, can be achieved with a cheaper alternative – by using poly-ethylene coated tape (a.k.a duct tape). The subject can wrap the duct tape around the protruding lardy area tightly, beginning from the lower portion of the breast extending until the upper pubic region, emulating the effects of a corset.
caution:
- not to overlap duct tape onto the furry part of the pubic patch, as the consequences can be dire…
- certain individuals may be allergic to duct tape adhesive. It is advisable to test duct tape on small portion of skin before going ahead with plan.
- duct tape may cause certain medical condition due to lack of ventilation. Subject may be confronted with a whole new level of problems that are equally (if not more) potent than the original – like prickly heat, skin laceration, cervical hemorrhage, herpes, syphilis, VD, polio, etc.
End of report.
