March 28, 2006

the showdown

*this was a follow up from yesterday’s post – “Reckless driving in Company X”

The guy came to my lab this morning to confront me. Apparently, his boss learned about this incident and sent him a nasty mail. Here’s the transcript based on my recollection (I’ve snipped out a lot of the repetitive dialog and some unimportant statements, but I can assure you the content is 99% accurate, though not verbatim…):

Asshole : “Are you the guy who drove that big nasty black car?”

From the way he spoke, I instantly knew he’s a Chinese educated guy. Not that I look down on them but, from the moment I was about to retort his rude approach, I knew I was going to pwn this motherfucker big time.

Me : “Yes. What’s your problem?”

Asshole : “What the hell do you want? What did you report about me? Did you know my boss sent me a nasty mail???”

Me : “You sped past behind my reversing car, you drove recklessly”

Asshole : “You suddenly reversed wut!! How do I know when you want to suddenly reverse??”

Me : “I was reversing into a carpark lot. That’s what carparks are for – parking. What.. is that so surprising for you? To see someone reversing into a parking lot? Are you stupid or something??”

Asshole : “That’s why I honked you!”

Me : “You deliberately sped through the gap… any blind man could have seen that.”

Asshole : “You can read my speedometer aaa?? How do you know I was speeding?? Where do you live??”

He started to walk closer to my face ala the obnoxious soccer player style. He was trying to intimidate me. He had a bad case of halitosis…

Me : “I live at the island. Are you threatening me now? What, are you a gangster or something?”

Asshole stepped back.

Asshole : “No I’m not a gangster and I’m not threatening you.”

Me : “So what do you want?”

Asshole : “Look, I was just driving past…bla bla bla”

He was trying to justify his assholism. I interrupted him halfway

Me : “Look, I’m not interested to hear your story… The main point of the whole deal is, you nearly caused me an accident with your reckless driving… and I really don’t like you.”

Asshole : “Why you don’t like me?? Haa?? Haaa?? Who are you??” [makes his gangster face]

Me : “That’s because you’re goddamn stupid. You drove like an idiot… that’s why”

Asshole : “Hey! If you want to settle, let’s settle this outside now!!”

From his body language, I could tell that his guy was itching for a punch on his face. And I was itching to fulfill his request…

Me : “You threatening me again? Well, I’m not scared. In fact, I can get you into more trouble just with that.”

Asshole : “You should have confronted me directly… not to lodge a report like a sissy”

Me : “Friend, I would love to beat you up. And if you’re trying intimidate me with gangster stuffs, I ain’t scared either. I can get you into that kind of trouble as well…”

Asshole : “Look… I don’t know you and I do not know why are you doing all these. This is all a misunderstanding…I was just bla bla bla”

He’s making another round of justification for his assholism again. I interrupted him halfway.

Me : “Hey asshole, are you trying to clarify what happened yesterday?”

Asshole : “Yes I was trying to clarify…”

Me : “THEN DO IT PROPERLY! The way you intimidated me? That was lame. That’s not how an educated person confronts a problem. Actually, it doesn’t really matter to me what happened. If you apologize now, I’d consider this issue settled.”

Asshole : “WHY SHOULD I APOLOGIZE?? I did nothing wrong!!! It’s all a misunderstanding!!” [upset face]

Told ya he’s an asshole. I was thinking, why did he even bother trying to confront me in hope to settle this thing off peacefully? Definitely not with a stinking attitude like that. The way he declined to apologize made him look like a child who is in denial of a chocolate theft, with the chocolate stain still smeared at the side of his mouth.

Well, he just decided to walk out of the confrontation without any apparent resolution. I polished him off by giving him an advice – “Next time, learn how to speak properly.” and I whispered under by breath “idiot”.

That was the time when Ted walks into the area and we adjourned together into the lab, with a whole new story to tell. Yeah, I pwn-ed him alright. Let’s hope he wouldn’t do anything stupid like vandalizing my car…

michaelooi  | experiences  | 

17 Comments to “the showdown”

  1. J says:

    I am thinking that it would be a really good idea to put extra protection devices on your car….
    (the guy really sounds like a Master Moron Lvl 9999)

  2. an idiot… eee diii yoootee!…

  3. souplad says:

    He’s indeed a Drama King.

    I would simply ignore him and walk off if i were u.

    You are still kind enough to reciprocate.

  4. michaelooi says:

    I’m kind maaa… what to do?

  5. Hey, you better check Lorraine before you leave work today. He might have done something.

  6. J says:

    Hmmmm… kind AND so modest too!


  7. zbjernak says:

    oh yah…

    not to scare you, but perhaps he will do something…like molest/rape your car…

    take care….

  8. crazysocket says:

    u should change ur plate number with ur boss… hopefully he vandal the wrong car..

  9. Nicholas says:

    i suggest u install viper protection system on ur car :)

  10. maemee says:

    hello michael, been following your blog for awhile and must say you come accross as somemore who has got a good sense of humour in life esp. at the way you look at things happening around you. keep up the great posts! cheers.

  11. michaelooi says:

    or perhaps that’s a good justification for me to change to a new car? HONDA CIVIC!!!

  12. Jess says:

    i say, b4 he does anything 2 urs, why dun u make the first move? juz paint his car wif da word SOS wif ICI Dulux :D

  13. jo-lyn says:

    hey… just curious, but what does “pwn-ed” stand for? at first glance i thought it might have been a typo for “owned”?

  14. Jase Lee says:

    Now imagine him reading this blog…

  15. michaelooi says:

    jolyn – Here, read this –

    jase – He probably don’t even know what’s a ‘blog’…

  16. Andre says:

    Some people just can’t think logically. They will *believe* instead of *know* that they are right. The only way to dissuade them of their opinion is with a heavy blunt object applied to their cranium.

  17. Online Slots says:

    Educate a man in how to be responsible, and that man will educate you in generosity.

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