Dear boss,
I’m sure you’re aware about the recent news of petrol price hike and increase of BLR.
I, hereby, would like to inform you that from today onwards, I’m gonna spend 4 - 6 more extra hours per week at the office and claim for that ‘inconvenience’.
Be it that I’m gonna sit through that 4 hours shirking off, or working for the good of the company, it matters not. You just have to approve those extra allowances with no questions asked.
It is of utmost importance that you adopt an empathetic state of mind and be positively considerate, that despite I’m working my ass off 200% more than your most productive period anytime, my wage is still a few fucking hundred folds lower than your dental privilege and subsidied car loan.
With the exponentially increasing rate of inflation and cost of living in this less than developed country of ours’, like this, it is only a matter of time before our wage increment rate fail to catch up and hit the major deficit boner - which I vehemently think is happening right now (for my case).
Soon, I won’t be able to even afford a condom for a decent intention of family control… which in turn, will spawn more moolah-leeching brats and eventually die getting mobbed by my own kids for failing to provide an adequate parental support. And if I die, you’re gonna have to hire another asshole for the job which might not be as good as I am considering the fact that I have a 7 years experience in this organization on record.
And I also understand… about the budget restrictions you management folks have to stipulate - that the company shall prioritize the spending on fancier looking publicities than giving its employees a good round of increment, lest they’ll gloat, put on weight and be a fucking vegetable.. emulating the upper hierarchy of the management.
Hence, being a considerate and rational person, it would only be pragmatic for me to just merely claim for that afore said extra hours to cover the increased expenses. A little request for a bigger cause…
Your understanding will be greatly appreciated.
Yang Benar,
Michael Ooi (only 62% evil)
kau! this must have taken about an hour to write. very productive…
WAH damn ons! the words you used all power-power belaka!
Dear boss,
I wrote this to second my support to mr. michael ooi. I strongly and ultimately agree with him that the hike in the petrol price has render my pay incapable to sustain the expensive travel to work and my cost of living too.
I want you to know that with the toll, parking, lunch and dinner will be all so screwed up and i will have to bring my wok and spatula to work. So i can cook in the office. I also wouldn’t want michael ooi to sacrifize himself to his own creation because of you not increaseing our pay.
Please increase my pay for god sake that you had promise us.
Yang Benar,
William Wilstroth
hahahahahaha…
well written…
now we know, wht the extra 4-6 hours are for
hahaha
Actually, don’t you think it’s good that they raise all the petrol prices and BLR?
Then people will not be able to spend, and bring the country into a possible recession, thus possibly bringing down the prices of goods for a while?
In fact, since I don’t have any bank l0ans, I’m cheering on the BLR increases….
Man.
Your comment submission failed for the following reasons:
Your comment was denied for questionable content. Blacklisted match = “l0an”
What’s with your comment submission system? they blocked l0ans
Thirty fucking cents. I mean, thirty fucking cents! I’m mining my own petrol from now on.
buaya - took me 20 minutes before lunch, another 10 after. No sweat, most of the time spent correcting my atrocious grammar mistakes…
FA - those words were bled from my heart, dudette.
william - you know what? my boss bought the idea. I’m not joking here. He told me to go ahead…
zbjernak - Part of it was used to maintain this friggin’ blog… ahaks!
Hmm - You have no idea dude, I blocked that word due to excessive spams. The clean commenting system you’re seeing now… is the hard work of a long list of filtering - I’ve blocked 98,000 spam comments to date. I’m gonna be installing MT 3.2 in these few days… to bring my spam control to the next level…
swallow - If only you could actually do that…
whoa, interesting letter. Can I use? Is it in anyway patented or copyrighted? Wish my boss could be as wonderful as urs… sheeesh…
sad.. so sad.. on this rate, i will never able to support myself, what to copulate
jess - Be my guest, darling… it’s not copyrighted.
bongkersz - You can always wank, my friend. But make sure you don’t do it in the shower. Flush your spooge into the bowl instead.
Dear Michael,
thank you for you letter. In order to support your requests, kindly be informed that office’s air conditioning operation time will be halted during lunch time and strictly none after 5pm. Lunch break will be reduced to only 20 minutes to increase our productivity. In future, kindly bring along your own tea/coffee for the pantry and for the toilet, your own toilet roll.
Oh ya, before I forget, I read your blog and I think you are doing a fantastic job. Now please farking get back to WORK!! no blogging at work.
Yours sincerely,
boss (only 62% generous)
boss,
thanks for the memo. it’s alright i guess, since i don’t really hang around at the office much.
I’ll probably just lurk around the nearest mall during the ‘inconvenient’ hours… there’s plenty of air conditioning there… don’t worry about me.
happy paying me, boss.
(PS: I have always brought my own beverage to work… and I don’t wipe. I flush my ass with water…)