I have always loved to write euphemistically. Especially stuffs concerning my workplace. It gets the message I want to convey across and yet, manage to steer me clear of those liability shits. How nice.

For now, lets imagine that I am a pathologist instead of a double E engineer. I perform post mortem on corpses, determine the cause of their death, aid forensic investigations and shits like that. You get the idea

Today, as I was performing an autopsy on one of the corpses, a group of health officials paid me a surprise visit. Want to know more about my job, they said. And so, I gladly attended to their needs, just in case they needed someone to elaborate about the whole job scope. Then one of them pitched me a question :

“So, what do you people do around here?”

I paused for a while.

“We dig prehistoric animals from the ground”
[chuckles] “You’re kidding, right?”
“You’re in a pathologist’s lab! What do you think that we do here??? We cut up corpses like YOU!!”

And I jammed the scalpel I’m holding into that retard’s eye socket, spurting blood all over my white uniform. I then pinned him against the wall, cut open his abs and shove an eggbeater into it, mixing his innards into a blend of confuckulated poop of organ mash.

I then shouted out to the rest of the terrified white collar motherfuckers “ANYMORE QUESTIONS?????”

…

Of course that rude and violent episode didn’t happen (How I’d wish it happened). I was just minding my own business when those contemptible jerks came into the lab. But hidden behind that indifference, I was productively imagining how to creatively torture the living shits out of them.

Man I so fucking loathe these corporate hicks that go around poking their noses into stuffs that has absolutely no relevance to their job scope. If they’re so fucking free, they could’ve just organized a trip to a zoo or something. At least that would have entertained some animals and yielded a cross-species harmony on this planet…

Fucking parasites.