are we mass manufacturing brats?
There’s this topic being discussed on the radio the other day, pertaining the question on how to properly discipline the youngs. The radio DJs were kinda like opening up the topic to the public, inviting opinions from callers. And the programme went on with a couple of housewives calling in, sharing their opinions and experiences about disciplining their kids… bla bla bla.
Then came the third housewife caller. This one, was a little bit different from the rest. She sounded distraught and her voice’s like Eric’s mom in “The 70’s Show” (like there’s something lodged inside her throat). The moment she came on air, she immediately made her point clear, that it is WRONG to discipline your kids. Yes, you read me right, it is WRONG to DISCIPLINE your kids. She then remarked further, that if a kid ever gets uppity or climbs on top of your head, let him be. Do not upset or scare him. He’s just a kid (that’s a PhD statement). He knows nothing about right vs wrong bla bla bla.
I was like, “what the fucking hell was that???”. Instead of giving that little bastard the benefit of doubt and act like a dead fish, shouldn’t the parents be disciplining (be it physical or verbal) their kids about what’s right and wrong?? Well, I ain’t a parent myself yet, but I was once a kid. If my mom were to give me that kind of privilege to be a devil? I’d probably land my ass in jail right now.
Then it suddenly hit me like an oncoming freight train. Is this the main reason (poor upbringing by screwed up parents) behind the social decadence that’s plaguing our country? No shit. It only takes a couple of squashy individuals to spawn a handful of fucked-up brats, and their progenies to reproduce exponentially. In a few decades’ time, you’ll get enough of these irrational scumbags around to bring the whole civilization down.
And from the way I look at it, the menace has already reached it’s advanced state. Just look around us. Manhole covers getting stolen. Public conveniences getting vandalized. Old people shaven bald for doing nothing. Students suing teacher for teaching them in a language that they do not dig… (list goes on)
You see a lot of these really insane shits pulled by people who learn their lessons too late in life and turn the society into a less desirable place…
It all starts with an over compulsive mind to think that the sting from a flick of a cane might be too much for that little bastard…
A kid is just like a turd of wet clay. Whether they’re gonna turn into a piece of fine china ware, or pieces of cracked low quality pots, it all pretty much depends on how the parents mold them to be.
In the ancient days, most parents mold their kids up with plenty of beatings. When I was a kid, I used to exchange stories with my fellow kid friends about getting our ass creamed by our parents. It’s like, a very common thing. (God knows how many rattan canes I’ve wrecked with my butt). Cruel but, effective.
Some claim that it’s better to just reason with their kids than to discipline them physically, but I doubted that. I feel that pep talks don’t work very well on kids. That’s because they are stupid. You get verbose with them? It’ll just bore them to the bone. They’ll hear you but they won’t listen. So, the most efficient way is to discipline them short and straight to the point -
Just biff them up.
*But sadly, I don’t even know if that works anymore. With technology so advance nowadays, your kid could turn you to the authorities with just a cellphone call, and you’ll likely — now dig this — face a criminal prosecution yourself for trying to beat that little fucker into a better person! The world is becoming a more difficult place to live in…
Maybe threatening to wreck their harddisk would do the trick better…
That dead-fish housewife? She ought to be hung, shot and had her body dumped to reclaim swamps…
i agree… that dead-fish housewife ought to be hang…
kids ought to face the cane… whack them, hurt them, beat them in the name of humanity…
come on lar… i got whack by my mom…
i have seen kids who are as spoilt as bad milk because their parents just let them do whatever they want…
if my kids do the wrong thing in the future… i will still whack…
** parent should say this: “somebody is gonna get a hurt real bad… somebody… “
Well, just wait and see how her kids turn out…
A lot of truth in Russell Peters there, man. Beat your kids, lest they become assholes. I used to remember getting whooped quite a bit when I was a kid, and I don’t say I don’t deserve it, even if I didn’t like it most times.
Kids are assholes, its no secret about that, and you can be rest assured that most of the time, words don’t really work because they dig in their heels and challenge their parents. Then they meet the cane, and they learn to respect their elders.
I haven’t heard students suing teachers for not liking the language. That’s a definite first for me.
Students sue over teaching in English (The Star 21 Jan 2006)
http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2006/1/21/nation/13176280&sec=nation
hang the dead-fish housemate for being so smart!
“He’s just a kid (that’s a PhD statement). He knows nothing about right vs wrong bla bla bla.”
what a dumbass thing to say. kids are far more smarter than what the adults normally think they are. i was so smart as a kid that i know how to tell lie without getting caught countless time (that will make my parents sounded stupid then haha!)
:D
Seriously, kids are spoilt nowadays, because too many parents out there, which either too busy with their work and leave the job educating the kids to the indonesian maid, or too stupid to teach their kids about right and wrong, because they themselves do not know so..
Sorry for the craps..
Well I was disciplined the capital punishment way, but I don’t think it brought any good. If anything, I tried to defy and rebel against my dad even more (he was the one who used to beat me). I think canings and other sorts of physical abuse should not be used; rather, I’d prefer it if everyone could sit down and have a chat. That way, there’d only be remorse and a more willing heart to listen and obey.
Man, I’m so against NOT disciplining the child. I grew up with it, and evidence that I’m not dead and doing alright shows that discipline/capital punishment is just fine.
My take on it: The kid needs to know what he/she is being disciplined for, and the punishment should not outdo the mis-behaviour.
Talking to the kid… I don’t think logic works for kids that are too young, nor do they necessarily understand the severity of what they instigated. Pain is a better language.
aah..the difficulty being a parent..to cane or not to cane? what’s the limit? asian or western teaching? ie. a kid having difficulty unlocking a door lock..do u lend a hand & pick d key & pass to him OR do u let him thru his trail & error to find d key? “out u go once u turn 18? or live wif the parent?”…dilemma…
heh….u reminded me how I hide myself under my bed and the empty promises of not whipping me if I come out.
I have also my fair share of getting whipped by my pa, meee and ah mah.
I think inflicting pain as a form of negative reinforcement should not be encouraged but that doesn’t mean it’s not necessary.
I feel it should only be used when all the talks and verbal reprimanding fail.
wreck their harddisk? how about confiscating their mobile phones, no pocket money for the rest of the month or …………..ignore them.
depending on situation, sometimes talking to them is ok, but most times the rotan is the answer…i know cos i’m a mum.
I hope I don’t seem like I’m blatantly whoring my site here, but as I wrote on this topic a while back, here’s the link: http://www.wanzafran.com/2006/corporal-punishment-is-good-so-beat-up-your-kids/
Anyway, I remember that my dad beat me up really bad as a kid. Now that I’m grown up, I THANK him for that. If he didn’t I would have become spoiled.
The way I see it, beat kids up, but not until they die lah. If they’re naughty just preaching to them won’t do they trick. Teaching them a lesson, a physical one at least, hits them right where it hurts the most, and they’ll remember their mistakes and (often) won’t do it again. At least, not in front of you. Once they mature, they’ll know how they stupid they are and they’ll stop doing it.
Danielle is partially right IMO.
But to some kids only can talk to the cane.
Maybe caning should be last resort, yes no??
Hang the dead-fish housewife!!!
wilstroth william: you sound like the indian joker from US, I cannot remember his name.
I am a mom myself and I’ll say this…..stupid woman. Kids don’t know right from wrong and it’s up to the ‘parents’ to teach them.
1st warning…..
2nd warning…..
3rd whacking!!!
It would be so PC to not cane the kids but I gotta say, a little caning never hurt no one. God, I am so gonna be lynched by NGOs.
Paul
actually, i do agree with that dead fish housewife… partly.
as far as i can remember, my mum never beat me. (ok la… less than 10times.) in my childhood. she always explain to me what is right and wrong, and, amazingly, i never repeat the mistakes.
i think child are not “stupid” even when they’re 3-4yrs old. they’re like a blank paper. they learn everything from people beside them. and chinese family do have some bad habits in nature (do not keep their words, etc). and the kids learnt from the adults.
u can find all kind of “bad habit” from chinese. no joke. so u can imagine, it wouldn’t take long for the kids to know that “i don’t need to give a fuck until authorities show their power (rottan)”
not to mention, western families do not physically discipline their child. and i think western youths are more willing to share their ideas in public compared to eastern youth has something to do with the parent’s teaching method. high pressure control is not a good way.
i think parents should make themselves become a role model to their kids (like my mum :D). cuz basically kids learn everything from their parents. good and bad.
rootified - Blank paper = Stupid. Means, clueless. No knowledge. That’s stupid. It’s a definition. We’re all born stupid.
It is how we download those set of knowledge into their brain, to get them to know about what’s right and wrong. (usual stuffs that conforms the public decorum)
You can bring up a kid to believe that killing is right, and he’ll grow up to believe that it’s a right thing to do (of course, he’d probably feel queer since everyone believes differently)
There are a thousand and one methods to bring up a normal kid … and beating has always been the one of the most effective method. Perhaps you’re just lucky, probably because you were brought up in a good neighborhood.
I think the reclaimation project will fail with her in it. Bad luck deh…
Anyway, on how the child is to be brought up, I think its up to the parent’s discretion.
If one were to compare me and my brother, I’m the naughtier once, hence I get my ass whooped more often. Makes sense right?
Even if my brother were to do something wrong, he’s more sensible to get it into his head rightaway.
IMHO depends and varies on the family’s lifestyle. Kid’s friends and so on.
Some kids are just cute angels without their parents needing to wack. Yet some are still brats no matter how much their parents wack them up.. Hm..
To me, some kids are just fine with reasoning, but some kids won’t do with just talking. They freaking talk back loudly and rudely to the adults.
“Keep your toys in the boxes son.”
“NO, why don’t you keep them? LALALA!!!”
This situation happened right before my eyes when my family was there as guests.
Now I believe some whackings would’ve sent the message across about respecting your own mother and the rest of the adults. Of course, as stated above, the punishment should never outdo the mis-behaviour.
The best way to educating your kids, eastern or western ways? Give it a mix. Not all western-styled reasoning with your kids work. Guess what? Most of them turned out to be more or less self-centered and insensitive with their words (believe me on this, I practically grew up with them). Fully eastern ways can be too rigid and discourage self expression. So here you go, give it a mix and get the balance, best of both worlds.
Danielle: i think you mean ‘corporal’ punishment. Capital punishment means pancung kepala. =D
“not to mention, western families do not physically discipline their child. and i think western youths are more willing to share their ideas in public compared to eastern youth has something to do with the parent’s teaching method. high pressure control is not a good way.”
3 worldviews you can raise a kid with
a) they’re always right, nothing they do is wrong (the spoilt brat’s perspective)
b) certain things are “wrong” but only in the sense that if you get caught, dad will wallop you
c) things are right or wrong regardless of whether or not you get rewarded/punished
i think corporal punishment can be used as an aid to getting kids to behave but what they ultimately end up doing once they get too big for you to wallop depends on getting (c) across. And that really depends on whether they can look up to you and see that you believe that, or you’re just NATO, not whether or not you wallop their little butts.
m@ri - yeah, i borrowed it from Russel Peters. Yup that is his name… (somebody is gonna get a hurt real bad… somebody)
* Credit goes to Russel Peters.
my colleagues were discussing this issues as well…
places like US and UK banned spankings.. no?
i think some kind of degree of spankings and rotan is acceptable…of course not those of “abusing” style.
nowadays kids are like so pampered…
no canes, no scoldings and end up being a nuisance…pampered and demanding.
Spanking in the West? Child abuse is banned, not spanking. They don’t want alcoholic parents coming home drunk and venting their spleen on their young defenseless children. BTW, they have come round to the fact that disciplining is a must. They have several ways to do it. I stayed with a couple in New York once who smacked the hand of their daughter, but not in anger, all the while telling her why she was smacked. Children also get grounded. If they have favorite TV programs, then no TV for 2 weeks. No extra money for lollipops/icecream etc. Doing extra chores around the house like washing up after dinner, taking out rubbish or washing the cars. Books on how to discipline children are selling like hot cakes in USA. Actually their young that I encountered are very well-behaved, always saying ‘thank you, sir’ or ‘please, may I….”. When it came to dinner time, the children did not touch the food until the guests and parents have taken their portions. The parents then nodded their heads to signal to them that they can pass round the food for themselves. Yes, now and then we read of the cretins brought up by nincompoop parents like the Malaysian mother highlighted here but thank God, they’re getting fewer. When my relatives migrated to Canada, they had a hard time looking for canes to cane their children. They didn’t want to use the bedroom slippers that was in vogue in Ottawa at that time. Finally a friend whispered to her, “get the canes from the Sex Shop!!!” and that was where she got her beautiful pre-soaked rattan canes…
eric - Hahhah you serious they bought an SM cane to wallop their kids? Man that brings the word kinky to a whole new level.
That guy’s so gonna get phobia later in his life if his girlfriend were to show up with the same cane bought from the sex shop…
Some kids nowadays are just too lucky for not getting any rattan from parents. They should have experienced it once, so they will not be a badass to the society or even to the parents. That lady is definitely having a good child in front of her, but a badass behind of her.