January 31, 2006

instant spaghetti

Say, you’re dicking some dogs and just about when you’re losing the mood to even breathe, your stomach’s hungry. Usually, it shouldn’t be a problem for you since you can just excavate something off the heaps of junks inside your refrigerator… But because it’s Chinese New Year, you’re basically out of every instant food you can find.

That’s what happened to me. I was hungry and couldn’t find anything instant that I could eat. That was when I figured that I have no choice but to cook myself… some spaghetti. FAST. Gotta make it in 20 minutes, else I’m gonna fucking die out of starvation. And I did it with no sweat.

Since this is a feat that not many guys can achieve in his lifetime, I decided to do some good for you lazy bastards out there. I’m gonna share this millennium long secret of how to prepare an adequately filling plate of spaghetti in less than 20 minutes. Here it is, you’re welcome:

Step 1: Boil up a pot of water. Once boiled, dump in a handful of spaghetti. (doesn’t matter how much, just use your gut feel).

Step 2: Open up a jar of those ready made spaghetti sauce (you can get those off hypermarts or something). Pour it into a bowl. Now, get yourself a few sausages, or ‘bak kua’, then cut them up with a scissor into the sauce. Microwave the whole caboodle of it.

Step 3: While waiting for the spaghetti to cook itself out, go grab a beer and watch some tv. Return 15 minutes later.

Step 4: Sift off excess water from spaghetti and pour the sauce all over it.

Step 5: Eat. Belch. Fart.

It’s fast, it’s badass, it’s awesome. (who needs a cookbook?)

michaelooi  | food  | 

16 Comments to “instant spaghetti”

  1. Primrose says:

    For those without the sauces ready in the cupboards, you can substitute with a can or sardines or a can of tuna. Mix with spaghetti and yummy! If you don’t have any of those, eat maggie mee lah! Throw in an egg.

  2. Amie.Lee says:

    I suggest those instant type that comes in a packet. All you have to do is boil a pot of water, dump everything in the packet into the boiling water, wait for 15 minutes and WALA! It is better than magic.

  3. Ad says:

    Next time you can try my style. Dry spaghetti! Boil the spaghetti…once it’s done sift the water off…then add olive oil, garlic salt, oregano, basil and parsley. Then campur all like rojak. If you wanna add some meat, just add anything you can find…sausages, ‘bak kua’ or anytypes of ‘bak teow’ that you can find…lol. Easy and less to clean!

  4. Silencers says:

    I usually just heat the sausages, spread some chili sauce on bread, and roll the sausage up in it. Bite, bite, done.

  5. michaelooi says:

    primrose – Most of the time, I’ll just raid the instant noodles department. But part of me was itchy today, want to cook something…

    amie – Is there such a type of instant spaghetti meh? Man i got to look for those…

    ad – I once ate a plate of plain spaghetti with only raw garlic and onion with tomato sauce. It’s awesome.

    silencers – Man, that’s not even a spaghetti-something. And why don’t you just drink some minyak masak for energy instead?

  6. Danielle says:

    Well those ready-made spaghetti sauces are handy, but they’re hard to keep! I keep finding fungus in it even though I’ve kept it in the fridge and always made sure I used a clean, dry spoon to scoop the stuff out! Nah, Campbell’s soups are much easier since you can use the whole can anyway. Oh, and the San Remo 15 minutes ones are good (think instant mee, but Western. They’re everywhere la). Try everything EXCEPT the Alfredo one, because that’s just tasteless.

  7. Amie.Lee says:

    Michael, those instant pastas are godsend. As a student studying abroad last time, I never had time to cook so I used to buy those from the supermarkets. Though I have never looked but I’m pretty sure they have them over here too, try the Campbell range. They come in all sorts of flavours (tomato, alfredo, carbonara, etc) and types (spaghetti, fettucini, rotini, etc). Sounds too good to be true? =p

  8. Wormie says:

    Difficult to cook spagetti lah. Try instant noodle. Just add some margarine. Wah taste like eastern style spagetti. And all in only 2 minutes

  9. michaelooi says:

    danielle / amie – Wow, I didn’t know that. I do know that they have a large variety of instant microwavable food in the western world… heheh … lasagnas, pizzas, kungpao chicken, you name it. But the last I looked over here, I found nothing except some lame ass frozen roti canai… sheesh.

    wormie – You eat too much of those, you’ll get jelaklah…

  10. go look in tesco… they do have the instant microwavable pastas.

  11. Haiyo, so mafan for what, just buy all those mee segera lor. Pour hot water can jor. hahaha.

  12. ShaolinTiger says:

    15 minutes? gonna be some rubbery spaghetti dude, it only takes 10 minutes to cook properly ;)

    I just add pesto and butter, takes 11 minutes and is badass too!

  13. Journey says:

    Dude,
    My favorates would spagetti with spicey pork cubes. Wah lau eh, fusion noodles with chinese style. Overnight curry or rendang also can. Gerenti to give you a kick. If not, then off to the toilet, you go.

  14. michaelooi says:

    domesticgoddess – Yeah, I think I will…

    melancholy – Well, most of the time, it would be instant noodles for me. But when I’m in the mood to cook, I’ll cook anything I see. (dogs, cats, furnitures, etc)

    ST – 10 minutes enough meh? The packet says 15 minutes… and it didn’t taste like rubber worr…

    journey – Yeah, curry would taste nice on anything. If I have curry, I wouldn’t be needing to cook them fucking spaghetti. I’m gonna just dip it with sliced bread… and hoover away… ahaks!

  15. Peter says:

    oh yeah, i did almost the same stuff there too. except i added a teaspoon of mayonaisse (coz mayonaisse kicks ass), a pinch of ground oregano, and rounded it up with a hint of tabasco sauce. I think im gifted.. heheh

  16. noname.co says:

    that’s cool, dude…20mins? that’s take shorter time than I did for perparing a spagetti. if you looking for fast, easy and good to eat i’d suggest to get the instant spagetti\pasta that would ready in 5mins. open-boil-eat. nyam nyam.

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