January 27, 2006

vampire wannabe

Emily : “I had a terrible dream last night, dear”

Me : “Oh tell me about it”

Emily : “I dreamt that both of us died and were resurrected as vampires”

Me : “Vampires! That’s cool! So did we have those awesome looking vampire robes on?”

I was envisioning myself sporting an ancient Chinese vampire robe, which was very common back in the 80’s Hong Kong flicks. I remember I was so mesmerized by the frightening aura of a Chinese hopping vampire… that I actually aspired to become one of them one day, you know, jumping around the city sucking out blood from the innocents. It’s uber cool for a kid’s standard to be able to do those unrestrained evil acts.

Well, what do you expect from a simple mind of a kid? Liberate and carefree. They don’t have to worry about paying bills and who to impress. All they wanna do is to mimic after whoever they think highly of… ultraman, spiderman, vampires, those beefcake brutes in the ever popular American wrestling veneer… the silly but fun part of being a kid.

But sadly, I’m all grown up now. I have hairs at various places, and have responsibilities to go along with it. I have much more important aspirations to worry about, and a set of adulthood orthodox to comply. Those days are gone forever. It’s a totally different world for me now, and I know this will continue to suck until I bite the dust one day.

All that is left is this small fraction of memory and imagination in my brain. Some people call it, the child in us. I call it my imagination. And with the convenience of a little bit of technology, I’m spreading these imaginations like a skanky whore in my blog up on the net, for you people to take a peer, what’s inside the head of a serious looking 28 year old in front of his desk computer, hammering away his keys like he’s saving the world. (muahahahh) It’s wonderful, isn’t it?

No shit, man, if this vampire thing were to be real, I would STILL want to be a vampire. Probably not those Chinese hopping vampires but something like Blade (if you have seen the movie/read the comics) – where I would be immortal, and able to blend in perfectly with the society, without having to fear the sunlight and garlic. And of course, the superhuman traits that I could use to impress girls (which I can make a meal out of by sucking blood off their tits). Woohoo!

I was snapped back to reality soon after that microsecond drift

Emily : “I don’t think it’s cool dear. It’s horrible. Know how we died? We jumped off a building”

Me : “Oh”

Ultimate turn off. You can’t be a vampire when you’re looking like a minced meat.

michaelooi  | thoughts  | 

16 Comments to “vampire wannabe”

  1. megabigblur says:

    ROTFL…my friend once referred to those as the “lompat lompat ghosts”.

    I’d rather be a werewolf. ^_^

  2. vad3r says:

    i wanna be Lestat De Lioncourt!! ;)

  3. 100 says:

    wahahahaha…a kuih kapek vampire…man, make sure your eyelid (or eyebrow) is not jumping.

  4. michaelooi says:

    vad3r – What’s that? Is it somekind of thermometer?

    100 – Ironically, I’m gonna be the one who lose a lot of blood during CNY… through my wallet. GODDAMN!

    megabigblur – Transformation to werewolf seems to be painful (check out Van Helsing the movie). It’s like experiencing labor pain every time you wanna change shape. Not very pragmatic lah…

  5. Adrian says:

    The “lompa lompat” ghost is so damn tiring. Imagine that you have to jump all the time… *tsk tsk*

  6. Lover’s Leap. Hehehe.

  7. cry4freedom says:

    you still can contribute to our country even for being a vampire.

    take part in any long-jump in olympic/asian games/commonwealth whatsoever and u’ll break the world record for each jump , nyehehe..

  8. Andre says:

    I have always found the vampire chicks, esp. those shown in Blade movies etc., to have great appeal :). I think it is good to rediscover the child within! Come to think of it; I am the same age as you Michael, and I refuse to grow up.

  9. Elaine says:

    Oh those ‘kiong si’ horror movies last time was such a hoot! I can imagine how tired the actors were back then. But yeah, I prefer the Lestat type of vampires are all impossibly gorgeous and exudes a strong sexual aura..*wriggles eyebrow*.

  10. MorpheusX says:

    I rather be the invisible man….
    Now think of the possibilities…


    Happy chinese new year people..especially to Micheal Mahaguru Ooi

  11. Zer0 says:

    Yeah… i luv Vampires!!. Western ones though..So erm..erotic and sexy…(i think)

  12. Primrose says:

    Eeek! Afraid of blood-sucking vampires. But modern day vampires aren’t afraid of garlic and holy cross anymore. Why? And why do vampire movies always have sexual intentions?

  13. aw says:

    Chinese vampires don’t “saaaakkkkkk yooooooooo’ bladdddddddd” lah.

    They bite you, then you turn purple, then you become a vampire as well.

  14. honey says:

    I’m thinking more like Kate Beckinsale in Underworld…

  15. michaelooi says:

    adrian – You think an undead would feel tired from the jumping? Come on!

    cry4freedom – Yeah, or just make a hell of a career out of becoming a bodyguard…

    andre – I find all chicks (vampire or not) in vampire movies appealing… heheh (or course when I say ‘chicks’, that does not include those geriatrics and out-of-shape blimps)

    elaine – And those Lestat vampires are acted out by humans, go figure!

    morpheus – Invisible can only see, cannot screw. That’s as bad as seeing some food off a glass pane with a hungry stomach…

    Zer0 – I take it as you haven’t really explored the world of relationships out there in reality…

    primrose – It’s the demand of the people. Film directors make vampire look horny, that’s why it’s like that. :P

    aw – Chinese vampire don’t suck blood? Come on, go back to your planet!

    honey – Kate Beckinsale has poorly made fake titties with crack marks. Trust me, she sucks.

  16. doc says:

    Vampire is lame. Now fear the Japanese Tentacle Monster! Muahahahahaha!

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