the global warming menace
I’m sure you people know what’s “global warming” all about. In case you don’t, well… you ought to be hung with your own intestines and stoned to death for being such an ignorant piece of shit.
Global warming is about excessive greenhouse gases (like CO2, methane) in our atmosphere that causes the increase of temperature leading to climate change on this planet. This in turn, causes the icebergs at the poles to melt and the sea level to rise. If this “global warming” shit were to continue till all the goddamn icebergs completely melted, in no time, we’re all going to drown inside our own homes and the fishes will take over the planet. (Google for “greenhouse effect”)
It’s not a good thing when your sushis rule over your own planet.
Now, how does this greenhouse gases came about to be that much in our atmosphere? Where did it come from?
Everywhere.
- fumes emitted from motorised vehicles & open burning (incl smoking)
- excessive clearing of forests/jungles
- farts emitted from 6 over billion (& increasing) asses on this planet
- farts emitted from the rest of the animals’ asses (thank god they’re on the decreasing trend, as we’re eating them out)
- hairsprays for every single shapeshifters’ cauliflower hairdos on the face of Earth (that’s like… a lottttt of them)
- anything
So, you may actually ask, how good are we doing now in preventing this “global warming” from happening? How much ice has melted at the poles and when are we going to expect them fishes to rule our world? Frankly speaking, I have no idea… until I caught something off Nat-Geo on TV the other day.
Apparently, the sea ice (where heaps of those cute polar bears used to hang out…) at Arctic had shrunken to the size of a really big tomato (I don’t know) and those polar bears now have to swim across a length of sea just to get a pack of cigarettes. As a result of that, several of those lame ass polar bears drowned, and now, some environmental activists are currently suing the US Government (Bush administration) for failing to declare polar bears as “endangered species”.
I don’t know how this could help the polar bears to improve their swimming skills but, I wagered that this must be super important and necessary. Like, polar bears are so cute! Such cute animal deserves no fate like drowning themselves up over a trip for some grocery shopping! This is injustice! Man… they could have legalized firearms, bombs, reefers and oh many others that could have lead to millions of human deaths… but, being delinquent about getting polar bears an “endangered species” title is simply… TOO IGNORANT & UNACCEPTABLE!
I certainly hope that the activists’ courses will prevail and save the polar bears from drowning! In the meanwhile, I’ll also encourage you people out there to do your bit to save the polar bears…
- please refrain yourself from eating broccolis and baked beans, and fart less. Should you ever need to fart, please trap your noxious gas inside a plastic bag and let your pet dog inhale it instead of letting it out to the atmosphere. Then you can kill that dog and have another new dog (you can always have another dog, but not a polar bear. Think about it)
- walk more, drive less. Never mind about the risks of getting mugged by thugs or attacked by stray animals. At least when you’re lying comatose in the hospital ward, you know that you’ve done your tad bit to save some polar bears. It’s a good thing.
- use less aerosol products. Like, those shapeshifters can always replace hairsprays with eggs or cums as their styling agent. Though they may smell funny at times but hey, you’re fucking saving a couple of polar bears here! That’s an exiguous price to pay for a much noble cause.
- eat more animals (all of them except polar bears). As we all know, mammals breathe in oxygen and exhales CO2. If you eat more animals, you’re gonna practically reduce the amount of CO2 released into the atmosphere. This in turn, will also reduce crop-agricultural activities and indirectly reduces the number of forests being cleared. That’s like, a stone that kills 2 birds (but not polar bears).
- Practice celibacy. I mean, you can still have sex, no shit… but do it safely & responsibly. Use biodegradable condoms (eat them after sex). Have less children. Increasing human population is a bane for this dying planet. If you must have children, educate him/her properly about “global warming” and polar bears. Or alternately, you may choose to kill yourself (in an environmentally friendly way).
- many more (I’d be writing a goddamn book if this entry gets any longer)
So, people… be considerate. Preserve the environment. Save a polar bear today.
I’ve smoked less but inhaled more smoke (for filtering effect). I’ve bought a bicycle in order to drive less but also inhaled more smoke from open burnings, 2 stokes engine gases and gases that emitted from puspakom approved buses and lorries. How can i do?
Well, us humans ought to stop killing each other and pool our resources to NASA so that we can send people into outer space. And from there we can kill aliens if the need arises, since it always does. Win-win dontcha think? The environment is saved, and we don’t have to kill each other just to feel big.
stupid amedikans spill 20% of the total CO2 and refuses to sign the Kyoto Protocol that limit greenhouse gases…
i can sense u r are not very happy with the polar bears….
and there is a conspiracy going on here…. involving the polar bears…
was it just me?
i dunno…
but i would say, hippo is 100% always better than the polar bears.
the biggest source of carbon dioxide is probably from burning fossil fuels (according to this source http://www.foe.co.uk/campaigns/climate/issues/fossil_fuels/index.html)
so the main culprit of global warming is power stations…now i can fart without feeling guilty.
kk - Good work! You’re saving a polar bear here!
swallow - I still think that there are certain people that ought to be killed. Especially when I’m behind the wheels. It happens alllllllll the time.
chris - By signing that whatever protocol, you think people will drive less and actually walk to work? Rightttt…
zbjernak - What do you mean? I love polar bears! Hippos sux.
marlboro - Farts consist of methane, one of the greenhouse gas that contributes to global warming. It may not be the biggest culprit but hey, it’s those little things that form a major part of a problem. Think about those suffering polar bears…
Gee, what a way to start the new year, I am even more confused! Anyway, can I have polar mint ah mr. professor Looi? It doesn’t cause any flatulence and it gives out cool fresh breath, which makes a person more approachable and romantic hence increase the tendency of copulation?? Besides, eating this kind of mint doesn’t kill any polar bears. Save the world. Save the world……
Help, someone get me my medications….. *siaw*
Oh ya, Happy New Year 2006 Michael
To save the world:
1. Close down tobacco industry.
2. Close down plastic producing companies.
3. Close down car manufacturers.
4. Close down petroleum rigs.
5. Close down timber industry.
6. Close down fur-fashion industry.
7. Close down exotic animal food dining restaurants… nevermind if we are not eating polar bears (we might know when will be their turn)
8. Close down make-up industry… (so there will be hairspray)
9. Close down every CFC-related production industry.
10. Import more bicycles from China…
close.. close… close… close… tutup semua… kasi tutup semua…
The ten commandments… hahahahhahahaha…
i say screw the polar bears. turn them into dead polar bears then bury them until they become fuel for my engine.
Do have a look at “State of Fear” by Michael Cricton. The plot is about global warming, and he cites many references in his book; Personally, having read some of these reference, my conclusion is that the case for global warming is not so cut and dried. Why don’t you have a look at them and decide for yourself.
We can always shove the polar bears with something so that they will want to fuck more. The more they fuck, the numbers will grow.
The environmental activists can organise a polar bear orgies for the polar bears.
Video the scene and make it into DVDs and sell it to some sickos who are into beastiality. The money earn will go to the welfare of such big ass creature…
mahaguru - Hacks is anytime better than Polar Mints.
wilstroth - And we should all ditch our clothes, get naked and live with the apes. That is the only way to save the world.
8555 - What do you Protons understand about biological creatures? I’d say, screw your exhaust pipe! Polar bears are cute, ok?
banana - Maybe Michael Crichton should also read “Heavenly’s blog”…. it’s free.
beef stew - Polar porns. They need polar porns. Hell, if there are polar porns, I would definitely love to have a copy too.