January 2, 2006

lady boss advice

I was reading some emails when the corner of my eyes caught someone standing at my apartment doorstep. It was Emily, home from work, flashing me this scintillating megawatt smile. Almost immediately, I knew something was wrong.

“What’s wrong? What happened?”

She didn’t say a thing, but gave me a wider smile.

“Oh…no… something happened to Lorraine??”

Smiling stops. I was right.

You see, I didn’t go to work that day and hence, I was unable to carpool with her to work. That was why Emily’s driving my Lorraine for that day, while I proclaim myself clinically dead for half the planet revolution from partying too hard the day before (and no, it wasn’t even the New Year’s eve…)

That news was shocking enough to wake me up from that feeble state. ‘What a fucking way to end 2005′ I thought. And before I could even get myself to ask more questions, Emily went on detailing the damage of the car to me – A detached alphabet on my car registration plate. Odd but, that’s the only damage Lorraine sustained.

Apparently, it happened when Emily accidentally released the brake pedal too soon at a stop junction, and scooted the car forward to kiss the vehicle in front. Since there wasn’t any damage to the other run-down Kia either, both parties cooled it off without any settlement (there’s nothing to settle).

But Emily, fearing that I might go apeshit about this accident thing, got really miserable and started consulting around for advice. That was when her lady boss, taught her about the art of “keeping-secrets-from-your-husband”. To get the car fixed as soon as possible, and tell me nothing about it. Her lady boss has been following this same old formula all her married life – wreck the husband’s car, got it fixed, and kept it out of his knowledge – and it always worked for her. (I hope her husband reads this entry…)

Well, thinking that it’s probably a good idea, Emily followed her advice and got a colleague to help fabricate a new registration plate for my car. But that colleague, warned Emily that the consequences could be even more dire if I found out about the accident by myself. The brand new sparkling registration plate would stick out like a sore thumb and it would be easy for someone as awesome as me to spot it.

That’s why Emily chose to tell me in the end. And I was glad she did, as I couldn’t have spotted the difference between my old versus new plate (as I later found out).
But I was even more glad, that her lady boss didn’t actually teach her to sell the goddamn car to some thugs, keep the money and claim that it was stolen at the workplace car park.

Goddamn!

michaelooi  | 2-of-us  | 

7 Comments to “lady boss advice”

  1. Jess says:

    LOLz. If really so happens that the lady boss’ husband is reading this entry, whut do you think that he will really do about it? :) Coz guys couldn’t have tell the difference in the first place bahh…

  2. Andre says:

    Even though it sucks to admit it; honesty is the best policy. Can’t believe I said it…

  3. zbjernak says:

    hahaha..
    guessed emily and her boss have good relationship yah…

  4. oliviasy says:

    I know how emily feels. one time hubby was in spore, i was driving his car (dat time still paktoh, so is bf), had to pick my bratty sis from tuition. i had parked properly in the box waiting. this satria came along, drove pass me, then stopped. the road had a huge bump in front and the lady was driving manual. cldn’t pass the bump properly, ended up gostan & her bumper knock my front bumper. i got her contact lor. but was feeling rather sick in the stomach and dunno wat to do cos hubby’s car was like a few months old only, kena scratch liao. felt so guilty.

    hubby called later dat nite, and i told him wat had happened. and dunno why i burst out crying saying how sorry i am. he had to console me, saying is ok. as long as i’m safe. scratch a bit never mind wan.

    sigh~

  5. michaelooi says:

    jess – I don’t know… shove a carburetor up her ass? Or perhaps the fuel injection PCB board…

    andre – Not always dude… not always ;)

    zbjernak – Yeah, she has a ‘good’ boss. They gossip a lot about guys and their inflated egos.

    oliviasy – When a girl cries, the guy’s fate is sealed. He’ll have to be fucking nice to that girl… and then, he’ll weep deep inside by himself later. It’s cruel, girls… don’t do it. If you do something wrong, just buy your boyfriend/husband a PDA phone… or a fancy Victorinox knife… he’ll be fine. Just, don’t cry.

  6. kimberlycun says:

    my mom, during all the times she whacked my dad’s car..she’ll always let him know. it’s called transferance of responsibilities.

  7. souplad says:

    ha…guess when u did something wrong u will just buy some tiffany’s or guccis…ya?

    manifestation of guilt….easily decoded by the XX chromos.

    i agree…a guy is doomed when a gal (esp ya love)cries…i call this psychological blackmail…somehow it almost always works….Scheisse!!

    why are we genetically configured this way….

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