Say, you’re dicking some dogs and just about when you’re losing the mood to even breathe, your stomach’s hungry. Usually, it shouldn’t be a problem for you since you can just excavate something off the heaps of junks inside your refrigerator… But because it’s Chinese New Year, you’re basically out of every instant food you can find.
That’s what happened to me. I was hungry and couldn’t find anything instant that I could eat. That was when I figured that I have no choice but to cook myself… some spaghetti. FAST. Gotta make it in 20 minutes, else I’m gonna fucking die out of starvation. And I did it with no sweat.
Since this is a feat that not many guys can achieve in his lifetime, I decided to do some good for you lazy bastards out there. I’m gonna share this millennium long secret of how to prepare an adequately filling plate of spaghetti in less than 20 minutes. Here it is, you’re welcome:
Step 1: Boil up a pot of water. Once boiled, dump in a handful of spaghetti. (doesn’t matter how much, just use your gut feel).
Step 2: Open up a jar of those ready made spaghetti sauce (you can get those off hypermarts or something). Pour it into a bowl. Now, get yourself a few sausages, or ‘bak kua’, then cut them up with a scissor into the sauce. Microwave the whole caboodle of it.
Step 3: While waiting for the spaghetti to cook itself out, go grab a beer and watch some tv. Return 15 minutes later.
Step 4: Sift off excess water from spaghetti and pour the sauce all over it.
Step 5: Eat. Belch. Fart.
It’s fast, it’s badass, it’s awesome. (who needs a cookbook?)