one of your own
I’m sure all of you have encountered those mysterious floating shits before. Those that usually take more than a single flush to get rid of. (these shits has baffled scientists for centuries…)
Well, I encounter such kind of shits quite frequently. For reasons unknown. Maybe it’s my diet… or maybe I’m special. But they sure hell are annoying because everytime that happens, I have to basically wait for the flush tank to refill before I can do another flush.
Now, that isn’t a problem for me, until when I’m in a hurry. Like if I’m late for an appointment or something. Usually, I’d just pop open the tank lid and pour water into it for another flush. But at times when I don’t have another second to waste, I’d just leave that styrofoam poo as it is until the next unfortunate soul discovers it and do some justice to it.
I guess that’s what happened a few days ago, when Emily discovered a brown floating asteroid inside our toilet. She reprimanded me only today:
Emily: “I’ve discovered some unflushed stray poo inside our toilet a couple days ago…”
Me: “Oh really? Whose poo was that?”
It didn’t occur to me that her remarks was supposed to be sarcastic in nature.
Emily: “It was your’s! Who else’s can it be??”
That was a direct hit.
I wanted to say it wasn’t mine, that the piece of shit crept out from the pipes on its own, but that’ll only make the situation worse. So, I decided to make use of her weakness… her caring inner self and her intrinsic sense of motherhood… to get out of the situation…
Me: “Dear, I gave birth to that thing… you should accept it like it’s one of your own…”
She just stares back at me, speechless. I think my plot worked.
like that also can… sheesssssssh
Thanks for the tip but I have this funny feeling that this plot/excuse will go down the toilet as well.
ewwwwwww….
What a reply? Dong! Dong! Dong! Strike 1 for Michael.
Hey…there was an e-mail last time I got circulating around saying that your shit can actually tell your condition of health bla bla yadda yadda kind of thing…
Michael.. eat your veg.. you need the fiber..
AHAHAHAHA I bet she had that WTF look written all over her face.
wahlau eh, tat’s disgusting ler… tsk tsk… nonetheless, it was a good reply though…. *speechless*
suanie - that’s called ‘making the best out of the worst situation’. It’s a form of art.
mahagurusia - Well, it worked for me. I wasn’t harmed in the process…
eriza - You do poop right?
journey - That’s just a small victory with a big publicity. If only you knew about the countless of untold defeat I’ve faced in the past…. *wipes tears*
howsy - Yeah, if you shit floats, you’re gonna get 20 minutes of orgasm.
rodney - Beer has rich source of fiber too.
silencers - Bolded.
jess - Tell me again when you’re married.
that’s why my house have a water pump installed. Instant refill for the second flush…keep away from oily food…oil…lighter than water…
could have been blood in it. you are lucky.
chris - If your house has a pump, there won’t be any refill. The thing will gush direct from the pipe lah… (you said “refill”)
gisher - It adds a little colour to the dull brown and pale white porcelain. It’s not that bad…
oh you are a sick puppy and i love sick puppies.
i used to refill back to do another flush before..it wasting lot of time..thinking ddamm..my shit too miss me..i think so do ur shit..
luckily my poo was healthier than last time..
may god bless ur shit..
hi.. you have a great blog and keep up the good work..
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speechless…or if u think so
of all u know..she is plotting for a revenge…
and let u take care of her thing…
u know..something she give birth to every month
hohoho…
say it wasn’t you…..*wink*
Michael and his christmas poo!!
Wicked!
So what are you going to name that “thing” you gave birth to? ;P
reverend - And you know puppies lick a lot. (that’s some shameless self promotion for the girls, pardon me)
kokbeng - Bless my shit? Why wouldn’t God bless me but my shit? Is God practicing discrimination here? Kanineh!
pg podcast - Yes I’m aware of that. Keep up the good work dude. I’ll be checking the site from time to time.
zbjernak - Oh you mean sanitary pad? I’ve seen it before. No big deal. (nothing irks me, really)
raoul - It wasn’t me. There.
morpheusx - You want some as fertilizers?
m@ri - Who? me or the poo?
JDream - I’m gonna name him Dubya.
That wasn’t very nice of you, dude! Imagine if Emily left her used pad in the bathroom and you happen to stumble on it. You would be cursing at it and be damned that day. So, I’d advise you to clean up your own mess. Or would you feel the same as you want her to be to accept your shits?