December 16, 2005

the bloody experience

Now, if you people can remember Sweety, Emily’s friend who was desperate for a life partner. Well, she finally found her life partner and got hitched last week in a high spirited happy wedding. Emily couldn’t have been happier for her friend… thinking that her painful spinsterish days are finally over and Sweety could focus on being somebody’s wife now (or rather, worry about something else? what the fuck bebeh)

But today, Emily got a surprise phone call from Sweety again. It was her trembling voice on the other line

“Emily, I want to ask you something..”
“Yeah sure, what’s up?”
“Ermm, during your first night… you know… doing it?”
“Ok… what about it?”
“Did you shed a lot of blood?”

Alright kiddies, in case you don’t get it, “first night” refers to the night you lose your virginity. When the hymen is torn during the first time of sexual intercourse, one could actually see some hint of blood (pretty much depends on how ‘aggressive’ your partner is…). It’s supposed to be normal. I remembered my first few times, when I was wiping my dick with toilet paper? it was always bloody… and my dick would stay sore for the whole night.

“Errmm…yeah. But not much. Why?”
“I don’t know…I saw a lot of blood. On our bedsheet, on my husband’s hands, it was everywhere! I’m scared.”

To cut the story short, it was like a scene in Uma Thurman’s bloodbath with the Squad 88 in Kill Bill. Her bedsheet embellished with dark maroon color of love… and that actually got Sweety panic enough to call up Emily to ask if she had just killed a dog or something.

But being a virgin at this age, it didn’t come as a surprise for me. (I can’t help but wonder how much fun she has been missing all those years… goddamn). 30 years of abstinence… all amalgamated into a single night of lust and indulgence. She should feel lucky that she didn’t actually die from excessive loss of blood.

Being a good friend, Emily of course tried to assure her that it’s normal. Perhaps it was just a round of sex that went wild beyond her control and ripped her twat severing a blood vessel or two. But sooner or later, her copulatory organs would grow accustomed to the intrusion and the color would soon fade away into transparent liquid… and she won’t have to worry about her bedsheet anymore.

After learning all that from Emily, I, in the meanwhile, couldn’t resist making a comment about Sweety…

Me : “She only loses it at 30! That’s unbelievable! What has she been doing in her love life??”

Emily : “I’m not surprised, dear. Most of my college friends are still virgin…” [proceed to name a few names]

Me : “Yeah… all of them except you. You lost it while you’re still a teenager. *wink*”

Emily : “That’s because you’re such a goddamn pervert.”

I was thinking, I wouldn’t even want to perve her if she’s as eccentric as any of her weird friends. Isn’t she lucky?

Sweety in the meanwhile, will continue to have sex as often as she could… just to get over the break-in period of her engine block.

“Look Ma! no more blood!”

michaelooi  | characters  | 

13 Comments to “the bloody experience”

  1. mahagurusia says:

    Buahaha… you cracked me up,
    no no… split me apart?
    or maybe I should say, tore me apart?
    *Sigh* I am all cunfused now :)

  2. Hahaha, wtf, after a few times still wiping your dick with toilet paper? Never use condoms want ar?

  3. raoul says:

    could be her end of period too?? :P

    and yes, both of you are lucky!!! :)

  4. cyingz says:

    are you sure is that much of blood?bedsheet,husband’s hands,everywhere??! sounds to me more like she is having her monthly visits..perhaps she is having one and that she is way to excited to even realised that.hehhehe

  5. michaelooi says:

    mahagurusia – Tore you apart eh? Got blood aa? Ahakss

    melancholy baby – Baby… condoms are for wimps. Real man gush the champagne…

    raoul – Why would I be lucky pulak? Aisehman…

    cyingz – I don’t know. She could very well be menstruating… or she could be pouring chicken blood for some voodoo sex.

  6. Primrose says:

    Goddamn! You exagerate is it? Where got liddat one?

  7. Lainie says:

    wellllll…forget dying from blood loss, ysee, i reckon there are 2 ways to look at it.

    1) by the night there should have been so much blood in general regions, she would have been relieved to lose some of it.

    2) of course she’ll survive. if she can take thirty years without sex, hey, what’s a lil blood? I mean, point a finger at any of us, which do you reckon any of us would take?

  8. michaelooi says:

    primrose – It’s for real lah. She’s really freaked.

    lainie – I’m cool about it. She’s not. I guess all she needed is some experience… Girls tend to overreact over smallest of matter when they get older… *wink*

  9. william wilstroth says:

    … hahahhahahhahahaha … she should be happy that she had kept all this while for her true man… 30 years?! be cool!

    Pre-marital Sex – Tak Nak!

    hahahahahaha… (whispering to your ears)… i just realized that!

  10. michaelooi says:

    william – I’d say premarital sex is ok lar. Just need to be aware of the consequences… (heed this – 10 minutes worth of ecstacy can lead to a whole lifetime’s worth of regret)

  11. Mr. lanciao says:

    Yes actually most chinese chics take care of their virginity very well compare to malay chics. its true and its a proven fact. but sex wise, malay girl are still the best,lotsa porno action!!

  12. michaelooi says:

    mr.lanciao – So you’ve shagged cross racially before? Wow… have you tried Bangla’s? I heard Bangla chicks are the best…

  13. neobium says:

    That’s because he hadn’t slept with nobody save that Bangla chick that night.

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