be kind to iguanas
Mannnn… people end up at my blog for strange reasons. I spotted the following search string through my stats program yesterday:
“can iguanas get brain damage if you use alcohol to make an iguana release you from its bite”
Can you believe that? That person actually still cares about the charity of an iguana who wanted to have a piece of him. Or shall I say, STILL HAVING A PIECE of him. Goddamn. Bet that person must be one of those animal-lover bigots. (I wondered if that iguana’s jaw was still fused to his flesh when doing the Google search…)
If you were to ask me, I’d say I’m gonna fucking make sure that son of a bitch GETS A BRAIN DAMAGE FOR DOING THAT.
Like, who the hell cares if an iguana would get a brain damage from alcohol intoxication? Especially when it’s acting belligerent like that and thinks you’re his cheeseburger? As if your benevolence would touch that beast’s soft spot and instigate it to repent as a savage animal to defect into a herbivore like you and your retarded school of spastic mongoloid vegetarians.
Well, let me break the bad news to you - No that isn’t going to happen. That’s because - THAT DAMN LIZARD DOESN’T GIVE A FLYING FUCK! His (assuming the lizard’s a bloke) hostility is part of his defense mechanism against danger, which, in this case, is YOU (the doofus who got bitten by an iguana) - who must be trying to molest it or something.
Being human, it’s only logical if we could REFLEX back OUR DEFENSE MECHANISM - go find a knife and repeatedly stab that iguana till it releases it’s jaw. Don’t worry, it’s not going to get any brain damage (as you’re not stabbing it’s head).
Or you can just play the original idea - grab a bottle of booze, and fucking intoxicate it till that lizard succumbs to brain damage. (funny, that’s what we do to ourselves every Saturday night).
There you have it, another community service brought to you by MichaelOoi.net.
when i saw the title i was imagining some horrendous skin-wrinkly-auntie..
hohoho..
animal lovers suck. those bastards called me evil for torturing a wasp which fucking invaded my room and stung me.
Yeah, its darn funny that someone would still THINK of the lizard when bitten. Judging from how much concience he has, he probably was typing that search string while having the iguana hang on to his profusely bleeding arm…
Oooh…reminds me of Kill Bill
Try drowning it…… (lesser things to clean up)
can iguana get drunk?..lol..
reta - Come on, you’re insulting the iguanas… that’s cruelty to animals
vincent - Yeah I read that entry before. That’s kinda bias isn’t it? That son of a bitch stung you… and he’s not evil. Geez… our world is becoming crazy man!
Vincent - That’s what I suspect. That iguana probably watched the google screen together with him…
souplad - Or gouge it’s eyeballs out. Then cook that fucker. They taste kinda good in curry (i’ve eaten an iguana before… they taste like snakes)… don’t waste no food.
kokbeng - Why not? You think that iguana is powered by a carburetor or something? Of course it can get drunk! Fail biology kaa? (oh wait, biology doesn’t tell us about alcohol intoxication… nevermind)
If you use alcohol to get the iguana to release his bite, it might just bite you more often next time just as a way to beg for more alcohol..
animal does have a periodical hot flash. If it’s female, it’ll fall into an enmity. Your touch on it’s (body instead of head) would be mistakenly perceived as sexually assaulting.