There’s something that I have been wanting to tell you people… I think I have a dual personality. There’s this “good me” and the “bad me”. For most of the time, I am this “good me”. Helping people, being obeisant, altruistic, talk to the plants… you get the idea. But at times when you least expect bad things to happen, wham! I’ll turn into this “bad me”. Spontaneously.

Testament to my claims, look at my past entries. Geez. Those are just a small part of the whole thing. It’s hard to believe some of the stuffs that I did when I was being the “bad me”. Stuffs that I never thought of wanting to do nor dreamt of doing. And sometimes, these acts would literally put my life in danger… which was totally out of the plan.

Just like what happened a few months ago when I was hanging out at my workplace corridor with my buddy Wilson. I was being this “good me” of course… until I saw this really big chick coming out from the office - that beckoned me to transform into the “bad me”.

Well, we see these “big people” (translated as goddamn motherfucking fat asses) all the time. No big deal. Most people would just get stone-assed at their lardy significance and move on. But not for the “bad me”. The “bad me”, would start to jump around and pull some inappropriate stunts in front of that blimp chick - as a WWF pro-wrestler. Pretending that I’m headbutting some grunts with my colossal head and elbow-choke him with my mighty arms. All that? To hint at that blimp chick that she’s fucking BIG and she looks like a pro-wrestler.

But I was very lucky that she wasn’t smart enough to catch the sarcasm, else I would have been REALLY headbutted and elbow-choked by that human whale. No shit. And even more luckier than that, the rest of the gawkers happened to witness the whole thing and started to laugh like hyenas having a stroke. Man, those fuckers ought to stop me from doing the despicable act… but instead? they laughed. Talking about looking out for your friends.

So, you see, I sometimes would act like a dick without realizing it. That would be the time you know that the “bad me” has taken over my bodily control. It’s not of my fault. The real me, is a nice person. Hence, if one day, I happen to grope your tit, spank your ass or do something that’s totally insane? just forgive me.

For I, was just being the “bad me”. Which isn’t the real me at all. Have a nice day.