Someone tried to call me while I was away from my desk last Friday. I knew that because my answering machine registered a few blank messages made by some outside calls. I have no idea who it was, as my ID recognition cache seems to point to a bogus number. Probably some n00b that doesn’t know how to leave a message, I thought… and went on doing my stuffs.
About 10 minutes later, my phone rang. I picked the phone up and was greeted by an unfamiliar female voice. She introduced herself and went about telling me that she has been trying in vain to reach me. Apparently, this girl was in some trouble (picking up somebody’s shit)… and she needed my enlightenment about the whole thing. (I was involved because I’m femes… yeah bebeh).
Normally… under such circumstances, I’ll just ask the person to sod off (since it’s not my problem) and figure the problem herself. But this time, I somehow relented and took the trouble to guide the poor little girl to the right path. The reason? I was hypnotized. That’s right. Hypnotized by her unique voice.
It was deep and matured… with a tinge of mesmerizing coarseness that was out of this world. Her speech was not only concise, but was also articulate and naturally fluent. She’s smoooooooth talking like that and her voice was pleasing to the ears. And the most impressive thing about this girl was, she knew the right words to beckon for one’s sympathy and yet, managed to remain professionally calm at the same time. (unlike some skanky bitch who would go mental on the phone over the smallest of matter). She’s a living masterpiece.
I was captivated by the grace of her linguistic awesomeness and can’t help but to imagine how she’d look like on the other side of the line. Average height, straight long hair, fair complexion, phoenix-sharp eyes, firm round ass, pink nipples… Probably dons a pair of decent looking jeans matched with a white T-shirt (OMFG, white T-shirts are so goddamn sexayyyy SCREAM!!!). A common looking girl with an aura of special charm that one could feel, not see. Something like that.
But unfortunately, that will just remain as a hallucination projected by my imaginative mind. I’ll never get to find out how she actually looked like. Not that it’s a bad thing though… because more often than not, the truth can be pretty disappointing. You see, I’ve had enough bad experiences to fucking assure you this, a person’s voice may not necessary conform to his/her looks. And vice versa.
Like there’s one time I made an appointment with a receptionist at a German factory for a meeting with an engineer? I was kinda expecting the floral-sweet voice to be of some cute Malay girl’s… but that person turns out to be a hirsute Punjabi blimp with a thicket of beard. I almost died of stroke that day.
And then there’s once I flagged down a tall burly waiter at a nasi kandar outlet to give my order, when he fidgeted me with his pussy voice - which sounded just like that Malay-language-dubbed Doraemon voice on TV. I almost died trying not to laugh at that poor guy.
So, as you can see, it is probably best for me to remember her as that imaginary charming phoenix-eyed girl… instead of some pockmark faced shapeshifter that smells like a sewer rat with genital warts.
Reality can never be that beautiful.
she must be your big fans
That is so damn true, man! I learnt this some time back. The sweetness of a female’s voice over the phone is inversely related to how “sweet” she looks in real life…let’s put it that way lah. The sweeter the voice, the less ’sweet’ the person.
I don’t wanna sound mean but, there’s this girl in my former company who has the sweetest, most seductive voice u’ve ever heard over the phone. A few right words and a guy could have an instant hard-on talking to her over the phone…PROVIDED u have never seen her in person!
I wouldn’t even wanna imagine until I saw the face. The “Punjabi experience” you had… Had me one or two of those myself!
Don’t lar so hamsup next time, mike…
phoenix-sharp eyes…….! huiyoh…I’ve been trying to find a word for those type of eyes for a long time..somehow u manage to describe it for me…it’s always have something to do with the eyes for me.
erm.. but .. micheal , u din mentioned why she called u ?
I’ve heard that the singers who do those sugary female vocals for all the songs in Hindi movies are actually 2 old ladies.
gagak: Yeah…that IS the perfect word.
77876 - It’s work related lah.
insomniac - Not all of them are like this. There are some pretty girls with sweet voice as well… but those are probably psychotic. (nobody’s perfect)
vincent - Sometimes, it comes naturally, you know what i mean? You tend to imagine the face of a person you communicate with (sometimes, even when chatting in IM…)
lichard - Humsup? *Chuckles*… that’s just a fragment of the whole iceberg tip…
gagak - Phoenix eyes are mysterious… arrogant and yet charminggg. I’m not really an eye person but… that does part of the seduction trick..
maniac - I did.
mega - No wonder they all sound the fucking same. Ahaksss
hypnotized by her unique voice, beautified by thought-image, drop drop saliva eh! cannot sleep leh!
Yes, mike. We all love sexy lady voices. You’re not the first to admit it, LOL.
i dun trust anything until i see the product(the girl) first myself.
Audio featured is just one part… (it may sound very nice and appealing).
hahahhhahahaha…
Just like you think its a beautiful lady walking in front of you. That tender and slim and choi pok pok figure… then you start oogling over it…and imagining things that you can do with her… ooohhhhh… so shiok!.
But, when you walk past her, you turn back to see the face…. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee….!
run! RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
kk - Not that teruk lar… still can sleep.
silencers / william - I remembered when I first heard Lillian Too’s voice over the radio. I somehow envisioned her to be tall, slim and wise looking middle aged woman with a serious look. Manatau… completely opposite (more like a blonde haired Ewoks).
On contary,
how about this….
U saw a ravishing beauty ( tight bubble butt, nice firm TTs with pink nips, white T shirt, slender denim, sharp phoenix eyes…..) looking and walking towards u……
“HAAAARRRLOOOWW” a husky voice that sounded like Arnold.S, accompanied with some shitty stench of a dead rat, overwhelming every inch of ya auditory and olfactory cavity.
*faint*
Sometimes hallucinations make life a lil bit easier……. isn’t it, Mr Ooi
wow..the way u describe about the hallucination gal are really fantastic..i love it man!..
eeverytime when pick up this kind of sweetness phone call…sure i will get melting..imagination is crossing accross my mind..everything will do..