charles’ maid
I was at Charles’ place checking out his new Grand Turismo game, when I saw his husky maid came loping down from the upper floor. That was strange - I thought, as I recalled him saying that his maid had absconded from his house a couple days ago. Feeling that it’s appropriate to ask about that, I asked
“Eh dude, I thought you said your maid had gone AWOL a couple days ago?”
“Yes. Why?”
“I just saw her walk into your kitchen”
Charles turned his head to look and said
“That’s my sister lah!”
“Your sister?”
That’s right. His sister. Who used to be petite and slender, has now turned into something that resembled an amalgam between an Indonesian maid and a crude oil barrel.
“She’s pregnant and had horizontally grown in size. Scary isn’t it?”
“Shees! I thought she’s your Indonesian maid!”
Being a jackass as he always is, he yells out to his sister and said
“EIIYEERRRRRR [sis' name], look at Michael… he’s so bad.”
“What?”
“He said you looked like an Indonesian maid!”
FYI, if you haven’t already knew it, the last thing a female would ever want to hear is someone complimenting on their sheer size of terror. So, naturally, right at that very moment, I was kinda bracing for the worst… probably a few screamings or maybe even, flying objects towards my direction.
But fortunately, she didn’t go apeshit… just shook her head in disappointment and went back upstairs. Me and my lucky ass (and big mouth).
I can be a such a prick sometimes…
Note to my friend Charles: I hope your Grand Turismo CD would get corrupted and your PS2 console explodes, fucker.
LOL she isn’t turning into one of those housewives with cauliflower hair syndrome is she?
LOL! “Wong meen por” ah? Mum always say I look like “mui chai teng” when I tag along with her to the market. Cheh! Of course lar like “mui chai” since I would be the one who would do all the carrying, kan? Right hand basket, left hand plastic bags and wobbling behind her…haha!
jdream - She’s very young, only in her mid 20’s I think. But I guess, it’s just a matter of time before she turns into a creature whom we all dreaded.
primrose - You know, your mom’s right. You kinda look like a “mui chai teng” also… even without those baskets and plastic bags… *hides in corner*
Hahahahah… i must say some ladies when they get pregnant they get more beautiful and radiant but some just… like what you said, turns the other way round…
hmmm… i think after the pregnancy is more important.. whether or not they still become oil barrel…
what do you think mate?
my goodness… my goodness…
I don’t think you were lucky… you were DAMN lucky!
Hehe, you were lucky she did not throw flying objects in your direction. Guess you probably weren’t the first to comment on her size, judging from her reaction.
Some women look very radiant when they are pregnant, whereas some just look bloated and tired. I met somebody yesterday who was in her last stage of pregnancy (due next January), and all I could see was her bulging belly. She has slender arms and legs, which makes her look more unbalanced than usual. I was kind of worried that she would topple over.
But then again, I am not married yet so perhaps I should refrain from commenting on mothers to be. Retribution comes fast and furious nowadays… *shudders*
william - That explains why beauty centers are raking in shitloads of money. These new mothers would spend an arm and a leg just to get back in shape.
vincent - I know. ahaksss
miracle8 - I don’t know man, I haven’t seen any women who looks “radiant” when they’re knocked up. I guess it’s the nature’s way to protect pregnant women from getting shagged by her spouse.
eg: Knocked up woman ugly. Spouse see, spouse no hard on. Spouse wank.
*shrugs*
Aiyah no fun. I thought preggie woman very bad-tempered. cis then she should’ve thrown something at you muahahahha.
*runs far far*
ppl pregnant mar. give them a break lor. u wouldn’t want ppl to say the same thing about ur wife kan
tsk.. tsk.. tsk …she won’t turn into one of those housewives with cauliflower hair syndrome.. hehehe
reta - Thou shalt not be mean to animals. I thought you’re an animal lover… sheesh
olivia - It was an accident ok? It was kinda dark there. Basically, anyone would look like an Indonesian under that dim condition…
spider - Dude, whatever happens, remember to remind your sister… never ever perm her hair when she’s old. Those hair perm chemical fucks the brain and will turn her into a shapeshifter.
Hey, Mike and all you other guys out there…the real reason men are scared of pregnant women is because THEY’RE THE ONES RESPONSIBLE!!! wakakakaka.
Wokey Dude..