Been tagged by Vincent. Some meme post he invented himself … about evil stuffs that one has ever done in his/her life (he calls it assholism, I call it cool things that we do to cheer ourselves up).

As you might have probably reckoned, the list can get pretty long … and I can’t possibly list them all out here. So I guess I’ll sample out a portion of it for you to get an idea - how far does my 62% stretch.

1) I drew some graffiti on a white cat before - [details]

2) I humiliated a girl in my tuition center and made her quit the class - [details]

3) I’ve spiked a whole volleyball team’s drink with drain water - [details]

4) I terrorized and pwn-ed a lady driving an SLK at some junction - [details]

5) I kicked an elevator maintenance guy’s ass and made my mom shouted at him - [details]

6) I jeered at a middle eastern guy in McDonalds - [details]

7) I messed with a deity and he’s angry with me - [details]

I made a friend’s dog dive into a pile of mud - [details]

9) I ripped a fart to gas the bunch of shapeshifter security guards at my workplace - [details]

10) I kicked a lunatic dog sending it into a drain and almost got my balls impaled because of it - [details]

11) I mocked my ex-boss in an elevator full of engineers - [details]

12) I “April fooled” my site visitors in the month of March. [details #1, #2, #3]

13) More random evil acts I did when I was a teenager.

14) More random evil acts I did when I was prepubescent.

15) More random evil acts I did to animals.

And many more in the archives & off the record. But I assure you, people, despite all the morally questionable deeds I’ve engaged in the past, I’m still pretty much a nice guy to hang out with. I don’t smoke and I’ve never killed a single cat in my life before.

That psychotic Vincent created this meme with an odd requirement. He wanted the tagged person to ask his readers - how much would they pay to get rid such an “asshole” like me. Supposedly, the higher the bounty, the more evil you would think I am. You get the idea. So, gimme a number there. Thanks.

P/S: And oh, if you’d be needing any meme’s, go ahead to get yourself tagged and blog about it.

Man, that name “Kuda” would simply crack me up. I mean, doesn’t that sound like … weird to any one of you? Why does it have to start with a “K”? So that it complies with the unofficial abbreviation “SLK”? Small Little Kuda. How bizarre man…

Here’s a list of names that start with “K”, and let us remind ourselves that they could very well be an open option for a car’s name in future…

“Kanasai”
“Kanineh”
“Kongkek”
“Kelapa”
“KuihMuih”
“Karipap”
“KNNCCB”

hahahh! add yours…

I’m sure many of you have heard a lot about the game “paintball”. It’s the latest craze in town and everyone is talking about it.

If you have no idea what’s a paintball, click here.

It’s a game where you get to run around a faux battleground & shoot each other with pellets of paintballs (instead of real bullets) through realistic looking toyguns. Sort of like, a live emulation of a tactical warfare. I don’t know if it’s any good coz I’ve never played it before… but sure it sounds like a lot of fun… and expensive.

From what I’ve surveyed around, I was made to understand that you’ll have to pay like… 30 - 40 cents for each pellet of paintball you pop and each game is timebound. (that means, if either one is up, you’ll have to stop the game). And for additional protective gears that you may want to wear, you’ll have to fork out more money to rent them (or something like that).

Buying the equipment for yourself won’t be any practical either. The gun(s) and protective gears aren’t really cheap. And the paintballs are not something you can just buy off any grocery store or your local 7-11. You’ll have to buy them from the paintball distributor to refill your gun. (and not to mention that CO2 canister to power the goddamn gun). It’s all about spending money there.

That actually makes me wonder, what’s the fun actually all about? Shooting stuffs with projectiles. We humans have always been fascinated by that idea since thousands of years ago. So, what’s so special and new about this whole paintball idea? It’s nothing more than just a modern day commercialized game. Little did we realize, that we’ve been playing with this sort of tactical shooting game since eons ago… and we didn’t pay no shit for the fun. Here are some of them (to you blimp nerdy kids, this is what we play before the invention of a personal-fucking-computer):

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Slingshot
If you don’t fucking know what’s a slingshot, you ought to have your head slam dunked into a toilet bowl and had it flushed repeatedly till it bloats like a whale’s bladder. It’s a “Y” shaped medieval weapon, dumbass. Invented by some cavemen during the the paleolithic era to hunt small animals and fuck buddies, this simple yet effective weapon is cheap to produce and rarely breaks down. (I made up the inventor part… in case you’re wondering…)

Physics: It’s actually a simple “Y” shaped contraption (usually made of wood, but there has been variations of steel made slingshots as well). The weapon has an elastic band tied to the end of each prongs and uses the elasticity of the band to propel the missile forward. Missile choices can be anything hard & roughly spherical in shape (pebbles, marbles, small fruits or small cute vertebrate animals). Just load missile on slingshot, pull elastic band and release to shoot.

Pros: Long range, inflicts badass sting on target, wide range of missile choices (you’ll never run out of bullets), easy to use, easy to fabricate, cheap.

Cons: Strike can be lethal to small animals and scrawny being (eg. Kate Moss), weapon is conspicuous.

Rubber band
The good ol’ rubber band. You can have heaps of fun with it if you’re creative enough. The girls would tie it together for their sissy ass rope skipping, we guys would use it to shoot anything in sight. It’s small, concealable and practically allowed anywhere you go. (a slingshot would probably be confiscated at school).

Physics: Same principle as slingshot. Instead of “Y” prongs, one will just need to stretch a rubber band across his/her index finger and thumb to create a ‘mini’ version of a slingshot. This is a pistol version of the longer range slingshot. Uses a specially made paper missile (refer illustration). Just hook the inner joint of the folded paper to the stretched rubber band between fingers, pull and release to shoot.

Pros: Stealthy, rubber band is widely available, bullets are easy to make, it’s free.

Cons: Short range, not very durable (who the fuck cares? Rubber bands can be found anywhere)

Green bean pipe
This has got to be the simplest yet most awesome weapon that has ever been invented. It’s fast, it’s easy to ‘operate’ and it’s badass. If all these traditional projectile weapons were to be likened as real guns, then this ‘green bean pipe’ has got to be the formidable machine gun.

Physics: The whole thing pretty much works like the principle of a blowpipe. You know, you use your mouth to blow out projectiles through an elongated narrow tube. Now instead of using a real blowpipe, you use a straw. Just grab one from McDonalds. Then go buy a pack of green beans (not sure if it’s really called green beans, just refer to the pic on left to make sure you got it right). Load handful of it into your mouth and blow away with the straw. Laugh.

Pros: Fast shooting rate, medium range, inflicts badass sting on target, cheap, biodegradable, recyclable (depends on where the beans land on…), stealthy.

Cons: Bullets depletes kinda fast (coz it’s so much fun doing the shooting), choking hazard for retards.

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Of course, that’s not all. These are just part of the common ones. It’s impossible to actually cover all of them (alright, I’m kinda lazy to do it…).

But then, I guess it’s enough to cut the mustard. Why waste the money when you can home-make your own projectile weapon? You’re welcome.

I think I’m a mean fuck. I just berated Rod the rookie engineer for lending a capital equipment to Elliot the freak - who doesn’t have a security clearance to use that equipment (one would require a security clearance to use it)

“If you want to do charity, you can go buy some wheelchairs for the disabled! This is work, goddamn it… you don’t break rules because you’re compassionate of some dolt who wants a shorcut for his own conveniences!”

It’s sometimes very hard to balance between getting personal and being efficient at work. Somebody tell me I’m doing the right thing…

(no, this isn’t about the boss thing. Rod the rookie engineer is a trainee whom I’m supposed to train up. He’s very way behind schedule now… and I’ll be in hot soup in a month’s time if he’s still as blur as he is today…)

My boss have officially gone to his 10 days vacation starting today and I was put in charge of both the labs. That means, within that couple thousand square feet of the both highly restricted labs, I will be the one who’s pulling all the strings there.

I will have the final say of who’s gonna walk and who’s gonna talk. I will have the authority to restrict basically any living organism from entering that area, at the discretion of my mood condition.

Besides that, I’ll also be in full charge of the highly sophisticated doohickeys in the lab worth millions, which some are capable of producing weapons of mass distraction … I mean… destruction. (Eg. the screwdriver, I can use it to open up the hull of a missile launcher… or use it to stab somebody’s head, and that guy’s gonna be as good as a corpse. Muahahahh!)

So I called out for the hordes of engineers’ attention right after our lunch time today, you know, to do that boss-employee relationship improvement kinda shit…

“Guys! I’ll be in charge of the lab for the next 10 days. That means, I’m your boss now… you will have to pay attention to every order I issue from now on … and move your ass to get it done. Are you clear? Alright, now go home & enjoy your weekend early. The lab’s closed for the rest of the day and I don’t want to see your fucking ass here”

…silence…

The guys worked on totally ignoring me.

Damn, it’s hard to be a good boss. Leave me alone.