shooting for less
I’m sure many of you have heard a lot about the game “paintball”. It’s the latest craze in town and everyone is talking about it.
If you have no idea what’s a paintball, click here.
It’s a game where you get to run around a faux battleground & shoot each other with pellets of paintballs (instead of real bullets) through realistic looking toyguns. Sort of like, a live emulation of a tactical warfare. I don’t know if it’s any good coz I’ve never played it before… but sure it sounds like a lot of fun… and expensive.
From what I’ve surveyed around, I was made to understand that you’ll have to pay like… 30 - 40 cents for each pellet of paintball you pop and each game is timebound. (that means, if either one is up, you’ll have to stop the game). And for additional protective gears that you may want to wear, you’ll have to fork out more money to rent them (or something like that).
Buying the equipment for yourself won’t be any practical either. The gun(s) and protective gears aren’t really cheap. And the paintballs are not something you can just buy off any grocery store or your local 7-11. You’ll have to buy them from the paintball distributor to refill your gun. (and not to mention that CO2 canister to power the goddamn gun). It’s all about spending money there.
That actually makes me wonder, what’s the fun actually all about? Shooting stuffs with projectiles. We humans have always been fascinated by that idea since thousands of years ago. So, what’s so special and new about this whole paintball idea? It’s nothing more than just a modern day commercialized game. Little did we realize, that we’ve been playing with this sort of tactical shooting game since eons ago… and we didn’t pay no shit for the fun. Here are some of them (to you blimp nerdy kids, this is what we play before the invention of a personal-fucking-computer):
~~~~~
Slingshot
If you don’t fucking know what’s a slingshot, you ought to have your head slam dunked into a toilet bowl and had it flushed repeatedly till it bloats like a whale’s bladder. It’s a “Y” shaped medieval weapon, dumbass. Invented by some cavemen during the the paleolithic era to hunt small animals and fuck buddies, this simple yet effective weapon is cheap to produce and rarely breaks down. (I made up the inventor part… in case you’re wondering…)
Physics: It’s actually a simple “Y” shaped contraption (usually made of wood, but there has been variations of steel made slingshots as well). The weapon has an elastic band tied to the end of each prongs and uses the elasticity of the band to propel the missile forward. Missile choices can be anything hard & roughly spherical in shape (pebbles, marbles, small fruits or small cute vertebrate animals). Just load missile on slingshot, pull elastic band and release to shoot.
Pros: Long range, inflicts badass sting on target, wide range of missile choices (you’ll never run out of bullets), easy to use, easy to fabricate, cheap.
Cons: Strike can be lethal to small animals and scrawny being (eg. Kate Moss), weapon is conspicuous.
Rubber band
The good ol’ rubber band. You can have heaps of fun with it if you’re creative enough. The girls would tie it together for their sissy ass rope skipping, we guys would use it to shoot anything in sight. It’s small, concealable and practically allowed anywhere you go. (a slingshot would probably be confiscated at school).
Physics: Same principle as slingshot. Instead of “Y” prongs, one will just need to stretch a rubber band across his/her index finger and thumb to create a ‘mini’ version of a slingshot. This is a pistol version of the longer range slingshot. Uses a specially made paper missile (refer illustration). Just hook the inner joint of the folded paper to the stretched rubber band between fingers, pull and release to shoot.
Pros: Stealthy, rubber band is widely available, bullets are easy to make, it’s free.
Cons: Short range, not very durable (who the fuck cares? Rubber bands can be found anywhere)
Green bean pipe
This has got to be the simplest yet most awesome weapon that has ever been invented. It’s fast, it’s easy to ‘operate’ and it’s badass. If all these traditional projectile weapons were to be likened as real guns, then this ‘green bean pipe’ has got to be the formidable machine gun.
Physics: The whole thing pretty much works like the principle of a blowpipe. You know, you use your mouth to blow out projectiles through an elongated narrow tube. Now instead of using a real blowpipe, you use a straw. Just grab one from McDonalds. Then go buy a pack of green beans (not sure if it’s really called green beans, just refer to the pic on left to make sure you got it right). Load handful of it into your mouth and blow away with the straw. Laugh.
Pros: Fast shooting rate, medium range, inflicts badass sting on target, cheap, biodegradable, recyclable (depends on where the beans land on…), stealthy.
Cons: Bullets depletes kinda fast (coz it’s so much fun doing the shooting), choking hazard for retards.
~~~~~
Of course, that’s not all. These are just part of the common ones. It’s impossible to actually cover all of them (alright, I’m kinda lazy to do it…).
But then, I guess it’s enough to cut the mustard. Why waste the money when you can home-make your own projectile weapon? You’re welcome.
The rubberband and finger catapult also classic wut. How about putting stones into bra cups and using the bra as the catapult? Hahaha!
You tend to forget another weapon we can use as projectile. Using the pen tube and potatoes. Using the compressed pressure, the potatoes will act as projectile once left the tube.
Let me think of my childhood weaponry first.
The paintball establishment creates an environment for players who want to feel like Rambo, play real shooting games with paintballs guns that look like real M-16. Not to mention those combat outfits. Paintballs has a long history in USA and it’s really fun to play with strategy. Check out my recent trip. Go to July 10.
primroses - I think there’s indeed such weapon. It’s called a “sling”. I think it’s some kind of an ancient middle eastern weapon (I learnt that from Age Of Empires… muahahah)
frostier - Potatoes?? So, you kinda have to stuff heaps of potatoes in your pocket in case you needed refills?? That’s practical… hmmm…
blackwidowk - No shit dude… it’s fun and all that. Like, who doesn’t want to be Rambo? I would love to take down a whole army myself man. But being Rambo isn’t cheap dude. You got to get that hair permed long and nice like that… you’ve got to pay shitass money to Fitness First for that chiseled physique… and most of all, your totally rad weapons to kick asses. (with money, you can be anyone)
I’m merely proposing a cheaper alternative to paintball weapons *shrugs*
oh primary school was fun.
slingshot: got scolded by some men for trying to shoot the swifts that makes bird’s nest for them. still young, had no idea about the lucrative bird’s nest industry.
potatoes and pen: did not inflict pain but was a great annoyance. abandoned after a week of extra dirty laundry.
paper and rubber bands: classic weapon. brought home made ammo (rolled with glossy magazine paper). sharp shooter. confiscated by prefects.
green beans: sundry shopped owner wondered why i bought two bags of green beans for. did not answer. was thrilled with the machine gun like effect, but did not quite like the taste in my mouth. was punished to sweep the entire classroom littered with little green beans.
pvc pipe and manila cardboard cone with needle for tip: too dangerous to shoot at people. killed a butter fly. takes awhile to master. closest experience to a blow pipe.
Self-made weapon during dark age…. apart from what you have mentioned…
1) Cak klepong - 2 bamboos, 1 feet each. 1 bamboo with hold, another with long stick. Use young coffee seed as bullet. But one seed stuck on each end of bamboo with lubang. Use another bamboo with stick to pressure pump the seed out. Reload the seed to pump second seed out. Very paintfull on short range. Sticky thing from coffee seed doesn’t seem to came off from shirt.
2) Rifle/Gun carved out from wood. Use rubber bend as bullet.
3) Flip knife made of batang ice cream. With some creativity you actually made the knife to swivel open very fast like some old ugly motorola phone.
Dude, what about other weapon which shoots fluid? Be it a plastic made or you got it since birth, it should be fun too…
Ben - PVC and manila cone… ahahah. That one if you’re good enough folding the cardboard, it’ll be badass enough to puncture skin. No shit. (note about this weapon - i’ve seen a Thai girl using this weapon to burst balloons by blowing it with her cunt… unfuckingbelievable…)
meyour - I remember cak klepong. We called it Pop gun. It was already very rare during my childhood… as bamboos were scarce around the city area. This thing can shoot pretty far if you’re good enough in fabricating it …
beefstew - I never played with water guns a lot. But I’ve tried blowing water into those 5cents tube balloons (you know, the one blown from those green coloured goo) and use it as water bombs.
And i’ve also invented my own dart. Just sharpen a satay stick (or lok lok stick) and tie a straw at the opposite end… you’ll get yourself a throwing dart. (kinda dangerous)
The rubber band method really brings back good memories! I may not be short range all the time. Through practice it can reach pretty far targets. We used to form 2 teams in my class, and begin shooting each other till we hurt like crazy, and we mastered it to shoot from one end of a room to the other (it was a big room, in case you’re wondering).
Fantastic, cheap weapon. The best available to me anyway. lol
There’s also technique to enhance the rubber-band ammo. Using the specific paper and making the tip become damn hard like a rock.
But then we advance into shuriken. Using bottle cap and flatten the edge and cut it into sharp edges. When we threw.. we make sure it stick to the blackboard.
Dangerous tho’
You forgot the ultimate granade: Blackboard duster. Just grab one in the classroom, “FIRE IN THE HOLE!” with instant hair dye effect.
Those beans are called mung beans I think.
yeah why spend so much $$ on paintballs when you can improvise with sundry goods.
iceberg - And if you couldn’t get enough players, you can always invite your neighbour’s dog to play along. If the dog doesn’t know how to use the rubber band, then… too bad for him. We do the shooting! Muahahahh!!!
frostier - Yeah. You can roll up the paper, make sure the it’s all tight when you roll it… and then to lapis the rolled paper with cellophane tape… it’s gonna be very badass. Or you can add grains of sand at the tip to make it more exotic…
kancil killer - That’s shouldn’t be considered a projectile weapon larr… you might as well fling a shoe… For grenades, we used balloons filled with diluted chinese ink (coz it stinks) at target.
m8 - Some promotion slip I saw stated that you get about 50 shots (complete with face gears) for 45 bucks. Kinda expensive if you were to ask me…
hmm… remember meself as a tomboy who ran around shooting cardboard ammos at d boys using rubber bands…
it was gals against guys… once there was even an after sch battle which i missed… T.T
sigh… primary sch… those were d days…
kids nowadays are so….. sissy?!!??
if i do that to my bro i’m sure he’ll run calling out for mummy…
but then again… he’s only 6…. XP
A killer way for enhancing the paper pellets for your rubber-band sling. Use those BIG book staplers and staple in the middle and bend it. There you have a hell of a sting…got punished by my mom for THRASHING the boy opposite my house (he was a sore loser)
caryn - Well, the battle’s still on between both the genders… the only difference is us guys doing the shooting with liquid protein ammos… ahakssssss!
chris - Yeah I’ve heard of that…but never really tried it. Hmmmm….
masturbate is better la…
I used to shoot small bits of ice using a straw when I feel really bored and wanted to piss people off (sometimes turn chicks on) in canteen.
Things u need. Straw, a cuppa ice and a markman’s lungs and mouth.
Simple crush some ice, feel the size of the ice bits with ya tongue so that it fits the size of the straw.
Aim … shoot and act blur.
Some aiming points -> behind the ears, neck and cleavages…. ooohhh