November 7, 2005

one thing

Somebody from the top organized a survey, asked me if there’s ONE THING that I’d like to bitch about my workplace. I was like “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?????” I’ve got gazillions of things to bitch about! But I gave them one, nevertheless. Here it is (edited company name to retain my ass):

[Company name] has too many management level employees. Not only it created a void in the workforce (that is, the REAL people who actually gets work done), but also consumed larger shares on the allocated budget – limiting the annual pay increment of the middle/lower income executives. This will indirectly demotivate everyone and create a negative work environment. Sure enough, [company name] is a stable pillar for a lot of career seekers, but it is not a very good place to DEVELOP oneself.

Eg what I’m talking about : Why do we have so many highly paid managers and directors reporting to each other? They’re taking up a lot on our budgets. And these budgets are often reported as OVERSPENT… and that’s when these people FINALLY get to do something – to send out memos announcing that we’re gonna have to cut down our spending and virtually have everything frozen. As the matter of fact, we did not overspend. The only thing that can be deemed as overspent was to feed these loafers lavishly to read emails and making stupid decisions. They’re siphoning off the company resources! Why couldn’t anyone figure that out already??

The management kept stressing that the boss-employee ratio is at a healthy level and things like that… but I think it is inaccurate because it includes the direct headcounts (manufacturing operators, that is) – which shouldn’t be accounted into the ratio calculation at all. Throw a stone, you’ll hit a manager/director easily at [company name]. Everyone knows that.

Rather than having so many highly-paid management level leaders on top, why wouldn’t [company name] employ more middle income/level execs to get things done? No budget? Sack a director and we’ll have enough money to pay half a dozen of such people working for us – increasing job opportunity and reducing the unemployment rate (which is in line with our country’s vision). You do the math.

So… as a summary …

Less high-pay management workforce = more budget share
More budget share = we get to hire more talented execs
More talented execs = more work done
More work done = higher profit share and earnings

See … it’s all good and I’m brilliant.
(I’m a middle level exec btw, you should hire more “abled” personnel like me.)

Am I fucking right or what? Should anyone of you want to use the response above for any means of conveniences, be my guest. Just insert your company name and you’re ready to go.

You’re welcome.

michaelooi  | work shit  | 

15 Comments to “one thing”

  1. Din says:

    I’m so gonna save this ‘template’.

  2. The Macek Collective says:

    Just think – next week, you will be able to apply for your new job at [Other Company Name]

  3. gregenz says:

    hohohoh!! this is what my company does every end of the year! for next years improvement they say….hahaha ur timing good …im gona use this…keep them fucking management guessing who submitted it..cus ima gona submit 2…hahaha!!!

  4. Hau Seoi Lau (aka. Andre) says:

    Glad I work for a small company where the boss is technically more savvy then myself. On the other hand, one has to structure one’s bitching / insults more cleverly since the recipients are not thick-skinned/skulled marketing droids…

    Like the template though, I will keep it for when our company has grown to this size in … about 10 or 20 years (and I still have not retired a billionaire).


  5. michaelooi says:

    din – What the fuck dude ?? USE it ! Don’t just save it mannn

    macek – Yeah. As Vice President of the Playboy magazine. Tell me your size, I’m gonna FedEx a nekkid bimbo to ya.

    gregenz – I guess this is a generic thing. Boss getting higher wages for seemingly less work.

    andre – That’s what you get for job security. Shitty bosses. (well, there ARE exceptions…)

  6. cmos says:

    Yes dude… you’re one pure farking genius… ^_^ I sokong becoz I oso belong to the middle level fraternity… hehehe…

  7. william wilstroth says:

    Yeah! Yeah! hahahahahahahaha…

  8. michaelooi says:

    cmos – I guess I am… pure “fucking genius”. I’m still smart when I fuck, unlike those stodgy bosses in my workplace…

    rodney – Well, I guess that’s some cavemen logic that I never get to understand…

    william – *jumps excitedly nod nod*

    jaselee – I wonder, if those people ever read our blogs… or even, maintain blogs themselves. Hmmmmm…

  9. put3put4 says:

    Michael, to my surprise you’d bitched about the eco human fudge factor but not the aroma that had has suffered. Kuan thiam this time man! You’re fucking right!

    That is the so called Corp ladder for which straggler is climbing up. I hope one day you’ll become the whistle blower. Cut down to 1 linesman. The dramatic is whistle blower can runs up-&-down the whole field, why not the sole linesman.

    What if ….
    More work done = higher EPS
    higher EPS = more dividend for boss.

  10. m@ri says:

    Bravo! Well said! Hehehehe!

  11. michaelooi says:

    zbjernak – I think it’s a pandemic thing. Just like the avian flu. You eat chicken, you get flu. You got promoted, you’ll be a meter closer towards the assholism mile…

    put3put4 – One day, I hope I’ll just be the fucker that took the elevator all the way to the top, and fucking jack my cum on the topmost person climbing that corporate ladder…

    elphinestone – Guess what ? You’re about to find out soon …

    m@ri – Shesheshesheshe!

    tulan – Precisely my sentiments. I once had a lady manager who sits next to Jude. Man was she delinquent. She stayed static on her chair so fucking much… that there’s a double concave “tan mark” on her table … apparently, the aging grime and filth had settled down everywhere on that table except the part where her humongous boobs were resting on…

  12. michaelooi says:

    DAMNNNN!!! Something wrong with my MT earlier on… and made me mistakenly deleted 5 – 6 latest comments (including my individual reply) alongside with the spams I encountered this evening…

    to those that has commented… my apologies.


  13. totoro says:

    i’ve been in the corp ladder long enough to realize that everything has a reason, and just because we don’t see it doesn’t mean that it’s not useful.

    management has their roles to play as well, and it’s way tougher than we think. just wait until you become a boss or manager one day. then listen to your engineers you hired bitch about you.

  14. Lin says:

    what would michael’s blog be like when he becomes THE DIRECTOR ?

    (man, i thought you were exaggerating when you posted about chinese women in china and their armpit hairs… God, I’m traumatized now!!!!)

  15. michaelooi says:

    totoro – Yeah, they have a role to play. To be the bullseye for us abled people to rant about. Else, life would be too dull to live. One day if I were to become a director, I promise to the world, that I’m gonna try my best to be the assholest director you people are gonna encounter… heheheh

    lin – Hahah … told ya. I never make up stories. They’re all real.

The commenting function has been closed.