invasion of the shapeshifters
I was with the guys at this popular food joint for lunch today and was quite elated to find that it wasn’t as crowded as it has always been. Well, that’s because today’s a holiday and there weren’t that much hardworking people like us around. That makes our eat-out kinda relaxing today, you know, we get all the nice tables we want and got our food delivered lightning fast.
It all went well through the first 5 minutes, until a group of “shapeshifters” came in with a dozen of obnoxious kids.
Alright… you’d probably be wondering - what the fuck is a “shapeshifter” ? It’s my new term to describe those fucked up housewives. You see, the noun “housewife” is too general to describe that faction of contemptuous housewives whom I loathed, and can be unfair to those clean apples that fall within the same group.
So I did the next best thing - I stereotyped this group of people and called them “shapeshifters” instead. Why shapeshifter ? Here’s an illustration that pretty much explains everything.
So now you know what’s a “shapeshifter”…
Anyway, this group of shapeshifters… was leading a pack of boisterous kids into the food joint, making hell lot of a noise right next to our table. There were a few of them yelling concurrently at the kids, commanding them to hush the screaming and noises already. That’s right, they fucking yelled louder than their kids to quell their screaming. *shakes head*
Then they yelled more to command the kids to get at their seats and dragged the tables & chairs for a couple minutes before settling down at 2 separate tables. And we thought that’s about all we ever have to endure from them but we were so wrong. These shapeshifters, would continue to yell and scream throughout their meal (alright, maybe they were just talking but, it sounded very much like yelling to me) … spattering chunks of semi-chewed food on their tables… as if it has been ages since they had any contact with the outside world.
Somebody from our group actually said that these were probably some bumpkins that came out from the nearby bushes to celebrate Deepavali, but I don’t think that’s true as I can see that they are actually Chinese. Most probably, they’re from somewhere distant like Singapore. Whatever. Not that it matters anyway.
The thing that matters is how these people bring themselves about. Like, can you imagine if I were to be some alien visiting from outer fucking space ? What would I think of Earthlings ? Their simple act of rowdiness could have brought a major misconception of our world.
And pissing me off (as a visiting alien) would probably result me going over to their tables to suck their brains for dessert out of compulsion …. and THAT… would have caused an unnecessary pandemonium in a quiet Deepavali afternoon at that food joint.
Damn those shapeshifters. Can somebody please teach them some morals…
You’d figured out the distinct demeanor of shapeshifters. Majority of them are found rowdy especially those who could only be seen merely of their white teeth in the dark.
Well, probably they need,
Heavy sex to vibrate off kilos of fat meat;
Learn to whistle to exercise their mouth becoming smaller;
Cut their hair shorter to give a cute fatso’s image;
More vege rather then meat.
After all, I do pity to those misfortune harridans & hereditary one!
haha.. izzit far worse than the housewife’s kids at the desperate housewife’s serial?
put3put4 - I wonder if we can fix somekind of device on them to convert the sound energy into something useful … like electricity to light a bulb for us to read or something…. hmmmmm
alicia - I don’t know dear… I don’t watch Desperate Housewives… I watch Desperate Something-Else-that-moans… and they’re usually naked.
Wah, your shapeshifter illustration darn canggih lar. You very good lah. Complete with armpit hair and saggy boobs on the sides (psst, the boobs should be touching the floor) - weh, I ask you draw for me (for my blog), can ah? You charge ah?
lol mate. your pic is gold.
hehehhehe..this made me think of male shapeshifters, with saggy sack, beer gut, and balding too.
michael, u are right, the shapeshifters have to safe every penny for the many kids, they dun have money for themself ended up looking like every indonesian maids on the road…ha ha…
michael…here’s another word for you; steatopygia
primrose - You want me to draw for you aa ? Cannnnnnn… charge by words…
karen - is it ? Now i’m rich…
lainie - Elehhhh how you know old men sags aa ? You’ve been seeing them a lot meh ?
jasmine - They save the pennies to buy TOTO !!!
hulkster - That’s a new word indeed … thanks !
*me look at michael scarrily and puzzled*
orh, moral of the story, next time when i have too many kids, i will bring only 1 girl out with me only but i cant help laughing on the shapeshifters!!!!!!!!!!!!
shapeshifter reminds me of a blogger. rotflol
i can see your drawing skill has been improved
hahahahah
cool
ahlian - Next time when you have too many kids, don’t come out…. or come out without them… or don’t have too many kids…
kimberly - Typically… I sorta know what you have in mind.. Heheh
zbjernak - Was I even bad ? Fuck off lar you…
hahaha…. articles like this make me love U more and more….