October 20, 2005

michelle

There’s this super fucked up guy in my workplace sent me a mail today. In the mail, I was asked to look into an error inside an electronic form, purportedly submitted by myself.

That’s strange – I thought… as I do not recall if I’ve submitted any electronic form in the recent months. Even if I did, I wouldn’t have left a mistake shallow enough to let that twerp discover it (aisehman).

And so, I took the trouble to access the form from the link he provided … and immediately figured out what the problem was.

The form, was actually submitted by another employee who goes by the name “Michelle”… who also shares the same last name as myself.

Yes, the fucked up guy made a terrible boner. He somehow mistaken “Michelle” … as the meanest guy engineer ever known in his workplace … who goes by the name – Michael (fuck, that’s me)

I initially thought of walking over to that fucker’s desk to ask him, do I fucking look, in any way, feminine to him ? Or rather, get him to point out which part of me that somehow made him think I’m “Michelle”…

Probably to further illustrate my message, I would whip out my dick to break his monitor screen to let him know – the difference between Michelle and Michael … would be a rock hard dick and a broken monitor screen away. But then, I figured that I might probably get stitches for doing that (broken monitor screen can be dangerous bebeh…)

So, I decided to send an email instead. Safer way to get the point across. Here’s what I replied him (in big bolded red font):

A colleague told me that I could face disciplinary action for using big bolded texts in my mail… as some people might feel offended over it.

Well, what do I care… I’m just a fucking engineer, not a whore. Pleasing people is not my job. Besides, I should be the one to feel offended, and he should count his blessings already that he still can see something off his monitor.

michaelooi  | work shit  | 

21 Comments to “michelle”

  1. rootified says:

    you sure have a hard dick eh. maybe you can put it into good use. Like showing your monitor-breaking technique in a charity show or something… ya’ know, raise fund for those who needs.

  2. Alex says:

    How come can face disciplinary actions if using bold texts? Maybe the guy’s not wearing specs and has damn bad eyesight, guess ur helping him to read better :D

  3. jimmy says:

    u can get FIRED for using BOLD as people might get OFFENDED?

    try to pepper in FUCK too while you’re at it.

  4. evil_gal says:

    hhaha…he deserves it! besides that, if he reports your email.. it just shows that he got low IQ and the only one that will get fired is him because he can’t differentiate MICHELLE and MICHAEL.

  5. michaelooi says:

    rootified – Yeah, maybe to support the tak nak campaign also. Teach people that having sex is wayy better than smoking… (something like that)

    alex – Workplace Harassment. People tend to misuse their rights when they’re given some. Kononnya … bold texts makes one feel that they’re being ‘shouted at’… and deemed as a type of harassment (believe it… it happened before at my workplace).

    jimmy – I would very much love to. The word fuck goes along very well with that message … but unfortunately, it doesn’t go very well with the management and my career here. So…

    evil_gal – Nah, he won’t report. He’s too dumb to do that. Like, that polio-brain can’t even figure out a way to apologize for the error… (i didn’t receive any responses from him after that…)

  6. alicia says:

    haha… :P both with the same surname.. and kinda nearly similar name..

  7. fish fish says:

    Michelle Ooi~~~

    Duh~ my goose bumps oso wanna up when thinking of calling Mikey into Missy. *geli*

  8. Averdim says:

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!
    WTF DUDE!!!

  9. put3put4 says:

    What if I use Mic Ooi, is that the same?
    Forgive him lah! Chin chai lah! Dayb4 I’ve just mistakenly used “Micelle Lai” in my outgoing mail. Very “phai say” leh.

  10. Alex says:

    oh yeah, reminds me of my days in irc. OFF YOUR CAPS. I cannot imagine Michael as Michelle lar… it’s just so… wrong. haha

  11. Gregenz says:

    ok, so, instead of calling you mike..call mitch la..bwahahaha!! anyway..u happen to know what michelle looks like?? cant be cun..otherwise..the guy would have her name and email registered in his puny brain and takes every opportunity to talk to her rite…

    nah someone like him..will bitch about it..makes a big deal out of it…even if he has the ability to think or report the “FUCK”

  12. Natasha says:

    Blur sotong guy… hehehe..

  13. michaelooi says:

    alicia – Almost the same, but it’s different. Period.

    fish fish – Who knows ? In reality, I might be a girl. Like, has anyone actually seen me before ? (well, some of you might have, but that’s probably my brother in disguise…). Hmmm… Michelle…hmmpppffff…

    averdim – eh,… you wtf that guy lah… not me…

    put3put4 – I’ve encountered dumbasses calling me michelle before. Some engineer from India. Needless to say, I told him to go fuck himself.

    alex – Of course it’s wrong, how would you like someone calling you Betty instead of Alex… huh ?

    gregenz – I think Mitch is a short name Mitchell… not Michael. But then, you may call me His Royal Highness if you wanted to ,…

    natasha – Yes he is. Fat blimp in his 20’s. You know, the type who wears a collared T-shirt with unmatching khakis to work… often spotted with a double patch of sweat marks on his armpit. To top up on that, this guy stammers a lot and when he gets to speak properly, you’ll notice that he has a lispy voice and speaks like Daffy duck. I can knock him with a crowbar … he’ll still be politely asking me why would I do that for…

  14. KY says:

    don’t get overly excited, Mikhael Ooi.

  15. zbjernak says:

    yours is truly a suck place to work….
    bold text also cannot?

  16. Journey says:

    Michael,

    What can i say? Mate! You got balls of steel!

    So, humor me, what reply did you get from the feller and did you receive any diciplinary action?

  17. graceshu says:

    (a spectacle? surely you meant, a pair of. or: plural. spectacles.)

    like you, i love being anal.

  18. cyber-red says:

    hahahahah changed gender now =P

  19. GhOsT says:

    Hi Michael,

    I enjoyed your blog!

    Cheers!!

  20. Amber Amethryne says:

    I wish I could give the guy a good whack on his head. Hahaha.

  21. Laynie says:

    ‘I’m just a fucking engineer, not a whore. Pleasing people is not my job.’

    Hmm. Loved that line.

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