October 18, 2005

RUI

I’m sure many of you people have heard of DUI. That’s “Dive Under It” – which literally means, you shove your head under some skirt to eat somebody’s clam. o_O

Kidding.

That’s “Driving Under Influence” (of alcohol, not of your PMS or whatsoever shit). It’s dangerous, you know, when you’re driving inebriated … as you might mistaken a bunch of housewives as a bevy of pigeons, which somehow at that particular state of mind, makes you think it is amusing to plow your junk into them. That’s when something unfortunate happens.

But in Malaysia, we have another hybrid of “under influences” that’s almost as deadly as DUI itself – RUI. That’s “Riding Under Influence”. You know instead of a car ? The drunkard would ride on a motorcycle.

The difference between DUI and RUI
DUI = The drunk gets charged in court after smoking them innocent people.
RUI = Everyone fucking dies including the spongebob who rides the bike.

So, it’s kinda like a kamikaze situation here when there’s some fucktard trying to ride a bike after getting zonked real bad. It’s not like a rare sight either – ask yourself, how many times have you seen some old Indian bozo riding his bike in a zigzag manner on a perfectly straight road ? Countless of times (well, at least in Penang…). And these people, sometimes may end up dunked inside a drain, clogging the drainage system which in turn, allowing mosquitoes to breed and fucking get us all shitload of dengues. (that’s a wild idea but you get the point).

I myself had an encounter with these dangerous RUI motherfuckers before when I was a teenager. Here’s the story to give you people an idea about the danger of Riding Under Influence… :

It occurred on the wee hours on Christmas day and I was heading back to a party location after refueling my bike. Halfway through the journey, I was brushed by this fast motorcycle with a screaming pillion rider on it. “Merry Christmas Wooooo!” he yelled. There was a contact… and almost made me lost control of my bike into a nasty ditch. But I was good, I managed to regain control of the bike and stayed put. Of course, my subsequent reflex was to cuss out loud after balancing my wobbling bike back on its course (don’t ask, that seemed to be the most practical thing to do at that particular moment).

“I HOPE YOU FUCKERS RIDE INTO A TRUCK TONIGHT #$%^&*() !!!”

You know what ? They did ride into something. Not a truck though, but a car driven by some chick exiting an apartment at a high speed curve. I didn’t learn about that until I was negotiating that curve myself – saw both the rider and pillion lying on the middle of the road like dead rats.

I was stunned, you know, realizing that something I had just cursed a few seconds earlier came true before my eyes. Part of me was feeling real ecstatic about it, but another part of me was feeling like I’ve just done something terrible. Soon, the compunction took over me and I stopped my bike to lend some help.

The first guy was the pillion rider (yes, that noisy Santa Claus). It was a Malay bloke and he was totally unconscious. I checked his pulse, he’s not dead. There was a strong smell of alcohol about him (ironic isn’t it? I thought they’re forbidden to consume…). I then moved that dickhead and flung him off like a ragdoll onto the side of the apartment guardhouse. (he was too “sleepy” to even complain…).

I then ran to the rider and tried to move him – but that guy let out a soft groan and said “Sakit …Sakit…” while holding his leg. I checked on his leg and found that it was broken like a matchstick right at the middle of his shin. I ignored him and tried to move him again. This time, he let out a louder groan “Sakit… sakit”. Like his partner, he smelt of alcohol as well. That was when I snapped

“HOI !! APSAL TADI RACING MACAM ORANG GILA MIA TIME TARAK SAKIT ??? PUKIMAK CHEEBYE LU ORANG!!!”

I moved him nevertheless, totally disregarding his complain about his broken leg. Like his partner, I flung him off to land hard on the cement floor at the guardhouse. He went quite content after that and I looked across the road – only to see that stunned lady standing beside her semi wrecked Toyota. She didn’t do anything but stood there like morgue pillar. I then issued an order to the guard (with an attitude) to call for an ambulance and I bailed off the place with a story to tell.

Some of my friends said (after I relived the story to them) that I could have crippled the rider’s leg for moving him around like that. But think about it, if it wasn’t me moving them off the road, they could have got themselves ran over by any oncoming vehicle at that high speed curve. (that time was about 3 – 4 am, but there could be garbage trucks moving around at that hour). The only thing that I regretted that night, was that I didn’t take the opportunity to bitch slap both of them motherfuckers (or at least piss on them). Blame it on my inexperience, I was too shaken to do anything cool (still teenager maa…).

So there you have it. A real life encounter with a couple of RUI fools. Always remember, do not ride (or drive) when you’re drunk. Push your bike home if necessary… or just crash at a nearby toilet.

michaelooi  | traffic shit  | 

18 Comments to “RUI”

  1. Gregenz says:

    yes, totally agree. what i cant stand most of them…they are like flies…everywhere..and adverts tell us drivers to be more considerate..yea my ass! once an asshole was speeding while avoiding a fucking van that almost hit him..ramped on my side mirror..you think he bothered to even say sorry? nope, as if nothing happened..he sped off..dammmmit!

  2. souplad says:

    I have somewhat similar curse-came-true experience, but less hazardous….
    I was walking my date home when we saw this 40- something uncle from far, running across the field heading down slope towards the bus stop, attempting to catch a bus. I was kidding with my date that, “skali he run and roll down the slope, old uncle should not run like dat..” just a few seconds later, we saw him tumbling down the slope. We were both surprised and found it quite farni. (sick!!). I added on “skali roll down slope, run also cannot catch the bus”. The embarrassed uncle (it think if I were him, I will be damned paiseh lor), picked himself up and started to limp and attempted to run towards the bus. The bus kinda started to move, the uncle run faster ….the bus stopped….the uncle slowed down…thinking the bus driver had stopped for him….but he was very wrong….”vvvroooom…..” the bus left! Poor uncle…… My date and I laughed for quite a while… but we realised it was very bad for us to laugh at people’s mishap…. Till now, sometimes, when we passed by that particular spot, it reminded us of that poor uncle…. we did not find that farni anymore… we kinda felt remorseful and spooky…. so chey…. my date didn’t curse as much now…….me…I’m hopeless…

  3. elaine says:

    ya, agreed …
    these bikers are senseless on the roads, and putting innocent life at risk at their expense

  4. alicia says:

    i’ve seen someone flew frm his bike like a superman in an accident…

  5. alicia says:

    kinda scary to drive tho… when u c those RUIs around…

  6. vad3r says:

    i just wanna run em over & over wif my Hummer..

    wait, i forgot i havent got one :D

  7. put3put4 says:

    It’s bloody wonderful! Seemed that u’ve a 101% prediction. ur presage of @#^$! “pong”! It would pong!

    But I don’t know whether you’re now still maintaining such “goodheart intestine” to RUI stuntmen.

  8. michaelooi says:

    gregenz – sometimes, these people hit you, they’re gonna shout at you somemore. Total jerks.

    souplad – Aww, you don’t have to feel bad about that. It’s really funny seeing an uncle rolling down a slope like some Hindustan hero… I would have laughed till my head goes gangrene…

    elaine – (Like I’ve mentioned many times before) I think our government should only allow lower cc motorcycles on the road. 50cc Passola or something… slower but definitely safer.

    alicia – I’ve seen someone flew before also. Some innocent dude who went into a big ass pothole and landed a few meters in front of his bike.

    vad3r – You almost got me there … heheh.

    put3put4 – If i were to encounter that today, I think I’ll still choose to save them. In the process of doing that, I’ll probably “accidentally” break a few of their ribs.

  9. zbjernak says:

    i had my fair share…

    once curse my teacher was raped by someone…
    next 1 or 2 months… and i saw she is pregnant
    hehehehehehehehehehe

  10. gregenz says:

    yea i agree. they really shout back…in kl, theres this place near the pasar borong in this place call selayang. i used to encouter “superman” racers..as early as 10pm…one night on the way back..3 supermans were racing when a proton saga didnt see them (or probably got scared,saw and thought only the bikes speeding themselves from behind…) ramped onto one of them, the dude eventually flew without his bike, landed on the road..motionless..the 2 other supermans immediately helped the guy and assaulted the proton driver for being blind..kicking his car… how i know? cus malaysian driver mahhh sure stop and watch wannnnnnn..police came…2 supermans flew back to krypton leaving the dude on the roadside…

  11. Beef Stew says:

    If the garbage truck did come and if they are doing their job (picking up every garbage in that area. You should leave those fuckers there. Let the garbageman do their job. They are good handling garbage’s’.

  12. saintis says:

    hehe.. you can get sued for moving those ppl if you were living in .. let say USA … :)

    wei mike.. raya come to my house .. my new email is attached

  13. michaelooi says:

    zbjernak – Well… that’s cool. I’m gonna try curse that fucked up lady manager I hate today… see if she gets knocked up anytime soon…

    gregenz – Illegal racers ! These people ought to be castrated !

    beef stew – I’m nice maa…. what to do… tadpoles…

    syed – Lookout for my email, professor… we shall discuss which type of animal kurma we’re gonna experiment with…

  14. oliviasy says:

    these drunkards deserve it man. seriously, i dun mean to sound so mean. but they r endangering the lvies or other road users by doing all these silly stunts and drunk driving/riding. and if i cuss them like u did (hope they ride into a truck), i wun feel the least bit of guilt.

  15. ShaolinTiger says:

    Yeah seen plenty of these fucker, they need a good slap up the head with a pole.

  16. Journey says:

    I saw in the new yesterday, several RUI dumbasses was caught in Sg Besi highways leading to the south. The idiots were tested +ve with drugs. It seems these jokers came from the south to KL to get high at night and travel back in morning using the highway. The idiots were already fucked up their lives by taking drugs but riding with drug influence – this is suicidal! When will they ever learn!

  17. michaelooi says:

    olivia – Well, the one that should really ride into a truck would be them illegal racers. I so fucking hate them…

    ST – Maybe they needed more than that.

    journey – That’s why the gahmen should consider banning motorcycles or restrict the cc limit. (I don’t fucking care if the poor has no transport. Just fucking walk like apes if you refuse to support the public transport)

  18. gregenz says:

    well well well…seems we have a conclusion…any superman illegal racers reading this? i think not..cus u cant read…otherwise u’d be smart enough to understand road rules, regulations and how precious life was…they are brainless assholes !

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