October 9, 2005

that creature’s mouth

explicit content ahead. Not a recommended read for kids and retards.

I’m not sure if anyone actually remembers their first close up view of a cunt. But I sure remembered mine. I was only 13 when I discovered the ultimate truth, and no… I had no clue that it was suppose to look like that. You know, folds of dark corrugated skin that forms out into what seemed like the mouth of an outer fucking space creature (or a rodent that has just been run over by a truck… whatever). And what’s worse, when that darn mouth secretes those gooey smegma, it’s not something you would want to see when you’re having dinner.

You see, back then… kids like us weren’t that smart like those we have today. Sure enough, we’re smart at biffing up wussies and cheating in exam, but the smart I’m talking about, are the in’s and out’s of the opposite sex. We’re pretty much as parochial and clueless like lab rats when it comes to understanding about female genitalia. We don’t get the luxury of information from the internet. We can’t fire up our browsers and readily load pictures of twats and titties at the discretion of our hormones and fingertips. Uh uh. We did it the hard way, discover everything from a blind man’s touch.

So, how did it happen ? It was one of my school buddy. He brought a hardcore porn mag to school. It’s sad I know, that my first close-up encounter with a beaver was not actually a real human, but pages of glossy dyes printed on some low grade wooden pulps. But hey, at least I made clear of that before the actual encounter, and prevented myself from looking like a total dork on my first night.

At 13, I didn’t know what to expect. I thought female cunts are just as simple as buttcracks. Just 2 slices of pork chops pressing together forming a tight fissure, with a triangular patch of furry pubes in front. Of course, I knew that we guys are suppose to insert our dick in there and jerk as fast as we could to have sex… but little did I know about the actual anatomy of a cunt. So, when my buddy began to flip that book of life before my very eyes, I almost barfed.

“Damn !!! That’s revolting !! I thought it’s just a crack !!”

That was my reaction as my eyes locked on the tragically formed biological terror. My friend told me maybe it was like that because that cunt belonged to a whore… that’s why it was so catastrophic like that. I don’t know but, his explanation seemed plausible back then. Maybe she was shagged for too many times and that was why it looked like that.

Then came to the final pages of the thin mag, when it showed a man going down to lick and suck on that girl’s labium (my first learning about cunnilingus). There, we saw these tremendous volume of semi-viscous liquid began to ooze out from that motherfucking piece of ugly mouth. It irked me to the very bone. Like …hell… it was already looking bad enough, why would anyone think of sucking some juice out of that thing??

It was certainly an eye opening experience for all of us juveniles that day. (though freaked some of us out). But little did we know, that this odd looking piece of human anatomy … will be one of the very few objects that’s gonna drive us men crazy in a few years’ time.

The irony of life indeed.

michaelooi  | escapades  | 

17 Comments to “that creature’s mouth”

  1. Primrose says:

    So are the pork chops now more tasty than it was before? Err…how does it look when it is being shagged too many times? They say dipping the pork chops into black malt will revive its youth. Can anybody verify that?

  2. phangan says:

    LOL… the last paragraph is a good one…

  3. suanie says:

    some guys did turn gay because they couldn’t stand seeing their first twat. maybe it’s an indication.

  4. michaelooi says:

    primrose – Black malt? I thought it’s warm white barley… heheh

    phangan – Crazy about cunts. Who doesn’t… men go to war because of it.

    suanie – If I’m gay, the rest of the guys would be old ladies. Heeheeh…

  5. Beer Brat says:

    Did had the same idea about it being just a crack thing. Also did had a long argument with a friend when I was in primary school about which crack we came into this world from, the front one or the back one. My fledging scientific mind was rooting for the bigger butt crack to be the point of life.

  6. souplad says:

    At least, you’ve got to see an upclose view cunt in some porn stash. I first witness that in some posters dipicting STDs. *Pui*

    Beer brat: That probably explains why u are so full of shit sometimes. = )

  7. troy says:

    Well….i remember mine first time looking at it and yes it was thru magazine.

  8. my first cunt view also at 13. LOL

  9. gagak hitam says:

    Hmm..dunno if this counts but I got my first view at 6 !…why I remembered ? Because I was in kindergarden…and a group of us were playing in class when somehow this girls came out from the toilet without her skirt…..

    It was also the day I knew what boys “have” and what girls “have”.

  10. william wilstroth says:

    night without a pussy
    is sure a wuzzy
    with so much to cunt about
    life is so cumming…

    what is life for men without it
    who will go to the extent eating it
    and smelling like belacan
    still we say them hot.. oh la la..

  11. michaelooi says:

    beer brat – If we are born from assholes, then the world would be so dark. There’ll be so much assholes of assholes…

    souplad – Oohh… STD cunts. That’s bad…

    troy – Good old mags. They were our source of information until the internet took over.

    whateverthing – Hey, that’s coincident ! Maybe this is a hint for a 4D number or something…

    gagak – DUDDEEEE… that one not count larrrr … I’m talking about the INSIDESSS… the berkedut part insiiiiiiiide….

    william – that’s … errmmmm….. a nice poem. *cough*

  12. YouaReABitCH says:


  13. michaelooi says:

    Interesting, I don’t even know that those spastics have access to the internet from their special school …

    Hey Bitch, thanks for visiting my blog. Now go kill yourself.

  14. matakecik says:

    i never knew it was so weird for a guy to see his first cunt, I was trying to recall my first time seeing a dick… well it was nothing to shout about either, but it was not from a mag, it was live *ahem*, and i was 14 or so.

  15. Gregenz says:

    Aya! I missed this convo! ceh!! should have been back sooner ..well better late than never to reply a good post!

    I remembered when i was 13, I went to my cousins place to spend a week there (during the school holidays)i never suspected anything until towards the weekends he would invite me up late at night around 2-3am, peeping out the room door (oh by the way, my cousin lives in those single storey houses where the living room is just outside his room…) his older brother and dad would be watching porn…that was kinda my first experience watching it…as what mike mentioned…we have no computer let alone the “internet”.

    The most awful experience…my friend brought this penthouse mag to school (thats a few years later..form 4 i think) when it was my turn to take it home..while enjoying the moments alone with the ladies…i noticed this page..stuck..when it tried flipping the page…u know what it was…fuck….

  16. teddseven says:

    my first encounter of the male anatomy was when i was 10. curious and decided to just look at videos in my parent’s collection. my first impression was that a woman was enjoy a extra long and big weiner… hahaha then i found out that it was porn.. [italian porn : hot girls but ugly guy]

  17. Uncle Benski says:

    You folks are very very sick and should seek help.Your fetidness is quite amusing though.

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