October 6, 2005

muse

When a job applicant fails his IQ test during an interview, the person will be hired to become managers and directors. And for those who passes with flying colors, they’re gonna make them engineers.

I’ve always wondered, if a transvestite happens to be stopped by a traffic police, is he gonna show his driving license as a man or a transgender ? Does the odd-even identification coding still apply to such individual? Or if a transvestite squeezes another bona fide woman’s tits, is he liable for sexual harassment ? This is so intriguing.

Have you ever wondered if we humans were to have hooves instead of fingers, how would we be able to pick our ears/nose when it’s itchy like that ? Errrmm, I know I should be looking at the big picture like we probably won’t be able to build technology or wank ourselves but… it’s those little thing we think that makes us unique. *picks my nose*

Bryan Adams almost made my company lose a few hundred bucks today. I was too taken away on my own rendition of “Please Forgive Me” in the lab, when my beg-for-forgiveness gesticulation knocked off a 15.4″ WXGA LCD panel sitting precariously on my messy bench … sending it crashing 4 ft down onto the cold hard floor. The LCD, however, lived through the episode …. scared the shit out of me. (I wish I’m as emotionless as a cow sometimes… sheesh).

I think roti canai is cursed. Why ? It’s cursed in such way that it’s only possible to be prepared by males only. I’ve never actually seen a lady preparing roti canais before… until today. The roti canai dude took an emergency today and was replaced by a young Malay lady. The roti canai she made ? Tasted like a mousepad. Flat and stiff.

The management stresses that it is important that we have some work-life balance. I suppose that was said to keep us employees content and all that. Yeah, like who the fuck cares. Just pay us more money and we’d be happy enough to work without qualms… balanced or not. I don’t understand why can’t they figure that out already.

michaelooi  | ramblings  | 

19 Comments to “muse”

  1. Beef Stew says:

    Bro, are you on medication or something?

  2. dinghy says:

    Lol, the management probably knows that you’d all love more money. They HR department just figured it’s cheaper to feed the staff with platitudes. :D

    Eh, and that IQ/hiring thing… was it a swipe at the management or are you serious? o_O

  3. michaelooi says:

    beef stew – Nope. It’s just that I’m too busy lately to post entries. So I jot my thoughts when I feel like doing it … and compile it as an entry. (by the time I reach home every night, I already felt like I wanna crash, no more energy to blog)

    dinghy – The IQ thing is for real. I’ve seen a VERY TOP management guy stood in front of the photocopier machine confused if it’s somekind of a doohickey that makes doughnuts… and no, he didn’t manage to copy his documents.

  4. zyz says:

    What’s the cutoff IQ, if there’s any.

    I’m not all that surprised. It’s not that top level managers are incapable. It could be that the better scorers are more suited for engineering work.

  5. william wilstroth says:

    Yeah.. I support Michael… Better Pay or increase PAY… other than those nonsensical stuffs like “balance work/life” thingy… i am happy.. in fact as happy as achieving orgasm… if i got pay raise…

    i support you bro!

  6. souplad says:

    Engineers like us..our flow and train of thoughts are almost always educated and conditioned to logical division of dichotomy yes no … on off….men women… So when it comes to shaded grey regions…. for e.g. transgender…. the outcomes seemed to be ridiculously intriguing… Anyway, when a transversite grabs a woman’s boobs, i think it is still considered outtraging of modesty. Just imagine a tomboy grabbing ya balls…. = )

  7. michaelooi says:

    zyz – I guess the cutoff IQ should be between 50 – 60 for management post. Anything less than 50, the person wouldn’t be able to do basic things like wiping his own ass after pooping. *shrugs

    william – Or they could have just hired more latino hootchies to be our friendly admins … that would have been better than those work-life balance malarkeys.

    souplad – Ermmmm… I wouldn’t mind a tomboy grabbing my balls. But if a GUY were to grab my balls, I’m gonna fucking punch that faggot’s face and scream at the same time.

  8. Natasha says:

    Hehe.. you ponder on these things? Amusing..

  9. h.liew says:

    Transvestite has IC like this:
    790101-14-2511.5

    *kidding*

  10. Primrose says:

    Wah michael, for once you post differently wor. Your thoughts!? Sure ah, after work, you got no energy to blog? Then got energy for what huh?

  11. michaelooi says:

    natasha – sometimes, i ponder about sex also …

    hliew – eh, how you know aa ? You ah kua is it ? heheheh

    primrose – energy to … errmmm… cannot tell… cannot tell…

  12. eric says:

    You’re have something there about the manager/engineer thing. I worked through a batch of scholarship holders: those good ones are given engineering, accounting and medical courses. The mediocre ones get Arts courses like Malay Studies etc. Guess what, sometime down the line, the smart ones are working under the mediocre ones who had become their heads of department (meaning managers). Life sure is strange!

  13. Jacky says:

    If a woman squeezed another woman’s tits, is she liable for sexual harassment?

  14. KY says:

    dude, what have you been smoking? hahaha

  15. put3put4 says:

    A 2 your muses, which i guessed.
    1) That’s a telco, where manager sleep, engineers Internet for watching film.
    2) just like flipping a coin, open it up and see whether it is a flower or sword, then determine.
    3) hit somebody purposely, u’ll then get “cauliflower ear” & “red nose”
    4) when cow quiet to sheesh, girl so
    5) this should be called roti papan tikus since it’s like a mousepad
    6) if they pay in such a way, then where got a big firewell?.

  16. michaelooi says:

    eric – See people ? I told you I’m right ! Thanks eric !

    jacky – I don’t think so. They’ll just giggle like those dipshits from some highschool. It’s all conspiracies against men.

    KY – dude, I may be smokin’ hot, but I don’t smoke. Ahaks !

    put3put4 – Errmmm… frankly speaking, uncle… I have no clue what you’re talking about leh. Maybe I have a beautifully demented mind…

  17. Iceberg says:

    Very interesting thoughts indeed. And I absolutely agree with your observation about the IQ tests. That must be why I have no choice but to sack my boss recently, and I’ve never felt better!
    Now I wonder, is he too stupid to realise how happy I am to have tendered my resignation? Hmmm…

  18. michaelooi says:

    iceberg – Great job dude! You should call up your boss every now and then … and tell him to fuck himself off… you’ll never get into trouble. (coz he’s not your boss anymore !)

  19. Iceberg says:

    Fantastic idea!!! lol

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