cows are very kayu
I was driving on a stretch of country road the other day, saw a brown cow grazing very close by the side of the road. I quickly slowed my car down … and approached that bovine slowly. My colleagues, not being understanding enough of me, thought I was just being cautious that the animal might jump out on the road causing an accident… but they were needless to say - VERY WRONG about that. I actually slowed down to air honk that cow.
Excited like an 8 year old who discovered the beauty of fire… I drove near enough right beside it and yanked my steering horn. Lorraine blared out like a champ and the loud honk reverberated across half the palm oil plantation (yep, it’s a road that cuts through a plantation). Now my expectation ? The cow to jolt up like some few thousand kilowatts of current went through it… or at least to skedaddle towards a nearby ditch and dive head first into it.
But that didn’t happen. The cow would just nonchalantly look over it’s shoulder, as if some credit card salesman had just called up on him. I was so fucking disappointed with that cow. Like, how could one be so stodgy and stagnant like that ? I mean, did God forgot to install the reflex mechanism in this goddamn animal ? Or that particular cow has a malfunctioned reflex system ? I don’t fucking know. That was when I yelled out : “Damn, do they even have feelings ???” - (I believe I was actually thinking of my boss at that time, though I may be vociferating at that goddamn cow)
I’d wager that if that animal were to be a housewife grazing instead of a cow, the result would have been totally the opposite. You’ll see some jolting, scampering, probably some dramatic act as well … like maybe losing her wig or handbag, wave fist in the air shouting profanities that only she can hear herself. Damn that’ll be so wicked !
Or if it’s a cat. Cats are like covalent 1 materials. They’re highly reactive to EVERYTHING. So, it doesn’t take much for one to imagine what it’s like to honk a cat. I once honked a feline who’s crossing the road … and it got so freaked & bolted off blindly towards my car knocking it’s own head. Hell I laughed so hard, that I almost forgot to make a turn into a junction (which I’m supposed to turn…)
But cows, they’re no fun. They suck. They only tasted good in curries, nothing else. Leave me alone.
Yeah, I’ve got my cow story. Old cows with wrinkly saggy udders are deaf and retarded.
But I bet u will love the smell of Kurma “COW”
the reflex system is there, u just need to use a red hot iron and stamp it on their ass.
You should try that trick on bulls. I suppose you will not be disappointed.
Beef stew taste good too, no?
LOL the cow pwned you. Yes it did, yes it did.
you really put your horn into good use, don’t you?
what me the 1st 1 aisehman tahi ayam atas simen… i think that cow wants to hit by any car to dead lor rather become a dish at plate.
any way this not related:
if you want jolt the cat use your radio control car.. 1st lure that cat to open space,a stray cat a perfect 1 ,but you must have a bait. then use that car as battering ram to that cat.that cat will jump few inch up in air..
primrose - Wah, that was a good one!
dookiez - Eh … is that you Harris ? If yes, I missed your grandma’s kurma lar bebeh.
KY - That’s access through pain receptor lar friend. But somehow, the fright receptor of a cow’s isn’t sensitive enough…
beef stew - We don’t see a lot of bulls in Malaysia… else I would have tried it.
silencers - The cow pwn-ed me ? This phrase sounded so familiar… somebody pwn-ed me … hmmmmmmmmmm…
rootified - Abothen ? You buy something, you utilize it to the max maa…
hokkienlang - Remote control car eh ? No need ler… just use the mosquito zapper on it. Cat will jump up A FEW FEET up in the air…
there there *pats on MO’s back*. this evening, go and air horn some dogs, cats, birds, housewives or some KNN cars. should make you feel better oredi.
Haha!! That’s why they have one saying “Dui Niu Tan Qing”. *ai yar~ don’t know how people say it in English*
cow oso u kacau. LOL
I like that “cow” attitude… so nonchalant.. so and steady-poon-pi-pi albeit the loud honk. It remains so damn calm. Wouldn’t one wants to be like that “cow”…..
guarantee you’ll piss someone (esp. girlfriends) off big time with this nonchalant f**king Bochup attitude and behaviour….
I wonder the cow’s behaviour parallels to guys’ mentality and the cat’s reaction parallels to gals’ neuro-inclination. (no wonder they are termed as pussies.)
LOL ! You went and kasi “Air Horn” to the cow.
But the Cow didn’t kasi you back response.
So now, you come to your blog and “Cow” Peh “Cow” Bu saying they are kayu here lah is it ??
hehe
you should see the cows in sentul.
one day a silly motorcyclist collided heads on into a cow crossing the road, when all the cars actually stopped for the cow.
cow then limped off selamba into the horizon, motorcyclist lay hurt on the road….
i remember 1 story from my cousin who meet a cow.
he was my uncle son.
one day he travel to town.. then he turn at 1 simpang L shape.. so he doing his manuvering at that place.. suddenly a COW at in front of him…
and he could’nt avoid it so got accident lor…
his face kiss that cow ass….
i dont know where that is cow or bull?
belacans - I air-honked so truckers today. There’re as stagnant as cows. Hahahhh… nasty buggers… I’m so fucking jeles of their air horns…
fish fish - for a moment there, I thought that’s suppose to make up DIU NIA SENG. Hahahhh !!
olivia - Well, they’re boring. I’m just spicing up their mundane lives…
souplad - Yep. That post was meant to be read in between lines. You got part of it…
kai hong - If the cow understands English, I would have bitched right on the spot…
sweelin - Wah, cows in Sentul that strong ?? I wonder if they’ve been taking special supplements…
hokkienlang - Kiss the cow’s ass ? How’s the cow ? Is the cow alright ? Poor cow… kena molest in broad daylight.
The cow used to it already lah and the place (inside the plantation area) is their territory some more. Same thing applies to the boys/girls lepaking at the shopping mall, no matter how you give an unpleasant look at them, they can buat muka dunno only.
Cow sandwich still best.
DAGING DOUBLE CHEESE BOSS!
cow betul…
I don’t like beef anyway =P
cows are proven to be the only animal in the world to suffer from depression.
Thinking about that, I can understand why.
They chew grass, chew grass, chew grass all day long, then their life’s path gets split into 2. Either:
a) they go to the slaughter house and get transformed into beef, or
b) they get their tits squeezed for milk.
Plus they have 2 stomachs, which means that their ratio of eating and shitting is 1:2. which means that they have less time chewing grass per day, which means that they have to chew more grass to survive, which means that they shits again and this leaves them, in most cases, holding their shits in and let it all go in one swoop. This means that they stink cos they shit around themselves and onto the grass that they are eating, which means that they eat shits. All this leads to them being ostracized by all the other animals hence they become depressed. And what does depression lead to? More eating, and hence more shitting, and hence more smelly and hence, even more ostracized.
Now do you all understand why cows go “Mooo”??
It’s a phenomenon called habituation. If every bored nutcase of an engineer who passes by on the road honks at the cow, the cow will get used to it very quickly…hahah
I started reading your fictions not long ago when one of my fellows introduced it to me just before I wondered having a blog.
It’s amusing, it’s relaxing, one could just take his/her own ease to imagine the meaning. You have the cognition of side-kick, front-kick and back-kick ….
On reading “Cows are very kayu” I felt the sence.
Well, cow is significantly larger then cat. By its head, body, tail or that organ. Cow has it own luck to find grasses everywhere while cat has to “miow” for food. Simply because they are naturally born with such privilege.
Cow always says no “muu…”. No matter you horm it, you chase it or you try to speak to it. So next time don’t horn it instead induce it with grasses to the other way. But beware, don’t wear red shirt, otherwise it’ll become green-eyed and then turn red-eyed when it sees that you’re being red.
Anyway from head to toe, cow has a great commercial value. This’s a little bit I know about cow.
jusoh - Well, the element of surprise is always there, especially when dealing with abrupt loud noises. But cows, they just don’t have it.
ST - Bang, burger daging extra cheese.. itu bawang kasi banyak…
reta - I don’t think the cow likes you (us humans) either… *shrugs
monkey - Cows have 4 stomachs. They chew then ingest, regurgitate … chew again and somehow it went through all the 4 stomachs (forgot how it works but who the fuck cares). Btw, they have 3 dicks too … one a few inches away from it’s bunghole, the other 2 sharp ones above it’s head (yeah those are dicks).
mega - Yeah, explain cats. We honked them every minute, why don’t they get “habituated” like those cows ? Tell me please.
put3put4 - cows nowadays do not recognize colours ler. they see girls with thongs, red or not, they’re gonna chase and mount. No shit.