Top 5 crappiest subjects that are being taught in school :
1) Pendidikan Moral.
Supposedly, this subject is to educate the youngs about how not to be assholes – turned out to be quite the opposite. More often than not, moral values are being taught at home by our parents with a cane or a baseball bat. But as we grow up to school, we’re being taught with something that conflicts with what we have learnt at home and some even to the extend of betraying our own conscience. There’s just too many examples to quote but here’s one that I remember :
Q: You’re cruising very slowly across a rural housing area. Suddenly a pregnant lady leaps out of nowhere and faints right in front of your car. Because you have one hell of a kickass car with ABS, you manage to brake in time. Some farmers witness the incident and misunderstand that you hit the pregnant lady – but you know you’re innocent. The pregnant lady still lays unconscious on the road and you can see droves of farmers running out with pitchforks and big ass sticks… what would you do ?
a) Try to explain to farmers and convince them it’s not your fault
b) Try to convince farmers to help pregnant lady first and you’ll explain everything later.
c) Ignore farmers and help pregnant lady (submit to fate of what those farmers are gonna do to your ass)
d) Floor accelerator and flee to the nearest police station.
Because I’m nice, I got the answer wrong. You figure the answer.
2) Bahasa Klasik
This is the most ridiculous subject we learn at school. I’m not too sure if it’s still being taught in the schools today but, hell, it was definitely a total turn off back a decade and a half ago. I still couldn’t figure out how this Bahasa Klasik knowledge would fit in our everyday life but to make one sound like a total fucked up person. I mean, sure enough, we learn about in’s and out’s about languages to communicate and all that but this … is hardly useful at all. Like, have you ever communicated in Bahasa Klasik anywhere in the public today ? You’d be fucked up if you did.
Here’s an example of asking a girl out using Bahasa Klasik :
“Oh adinda yang kiut-miut bagaikan mutiara di Laut Cina Selatan, sudikah anda bersantap bersama kakanda di Terima Kasih Kepada Tuhan Kerana Hari Ini Jumaat ?”
If the example above sounded ridiculous to you, then yes, it’s supposed to be like that. If you somehow manage to decipher what I was trying to say up there, well, that means I’m not very good at Bahasa Klasik. It’s basically full of confusion and blurness of the flowery way of saying things. How I loathed Bahasa Klasik. Ptuiiii !!
3) Pendidikan Seni
That bluntly translates as Art Education. We’re suppose to learn about arts. But we don’t. Well, at least up to Standard 6 anyway. What I remember is, we will be given an odd title – like “an old building” or “a crippled dog boning a cat” – and then we’ll be asked to submit our work the next day or face the wrath of the psychotic art teacher.
Man… does that sound like ‘education’ to you ? Fuck no. Did we learn about historically significant paintings the world has ever known and how it was produced ? Fuck no. Did we learn about reflections and refractions and colors and how natural objects emit radiation in reality? FUCK NO. What did we learn ? How to siphon marks off to be academically competent. That’s smart.
4) Pendidikan Jasmani
That’s our PE. Physical Exercise. Like Art Education, this is hardly any education at all. Though I liked this PE thing a lot, but it ain’t doing us any good academically. Nor does it serve any purpose of enhancing our understanding of getting healthy and staying fit. What did we do ? Well, the teacher would give us a ball and we were asked to play ourselves (NOOOOO you dirty minded fucks… it’s the ball game… ). Something which we already knew and in that fact, very well. Why educate us something we already knew ?
When the time comes for us to get certified, the teacher would just ask us to perform a couple rounds of runs, bench presses and sit ups to grade our fitness. And that’s about it. (that kinda reminded me of my friend who actually farted when he attempted to perform a sit up maneuver, almost got all of us killed when his flatulence gassed the entire volleyball court)
Pendidikan Jasmani. It’s a bunch of crap if you were to ask me. The time could have been used to learn something more useful like how to ride a bike properly on the road … or how to skin a live chicken… whichever applies.
5) Pendidikan Muzik
That’s the name of our music class goddamn it. In our primary years, it’s a compulsory subject. No we do not get to learn how to play musical instruments or how to read those bean sprout hieroglyphics … but to snap our fingers and sing along to those gaudy tunes with that ratfink teacher with cauliflower hairstyle. I remember one or two of those gay songs (fuck, it’s imbued in my brain… thanks to those fags)
Susu dan jagung, kacang dan lengkong, air gula berwarrrrnaaa… [snap fingers]…
That’s so fucked up man. Little did they know that I was already able to recite the full length of some Bee Gees tune at that age. What an insult. I wonder why can’t they teach us how to play musical instruments instead ? What’s with all those singing nonsense ? For your information of how bad it is, one of my classmates actually turned into a transvestite. God knows how many more turned gay. I’m thankful that I’m straight with a healthy length.
So there you have it. Some seriously flawed subjects. I’m not sure if this is about my school or is this a whole nation thing. If I were to be put charge on these whole education matter, I would have emphasized on following areas
1) languages (English, BeeEm) – to communicate and pave way for learning more stuffs. There’s once I ordered something in English at KFC – “no wings and drumstick”… and the server thought I was trying to ask her telephone number. We’ve got some really serious illiterates out there who can’t even communicate in plain English…
2) mathematics – foundation for the sciences. Essential for everyday life, nuff said.
3) sciences – biology, physics and chemistry. The key foundation to improve life. Without engineering and sciences, we would still be wearing furs and hunt animals for food.
4) geography – that’s important too. I’ve seen a video clip of some dimwits pointing to Australia when being asked where North Korea is. This is not good. You’ve got to know the planet you live on.
5) logic – my self invented subject. Something to teach the children about logic. Like how not to upset a dog when you’re defenseless. How not to disrespect your mom when she’s holding a cane. How not to burn things when there are explosives around. Things like that.
And I wonder, why didn’t they teach our children about traffic rules at younger age ? What’s the use of education if they can’t even drive/ride safely past the productive age of adolescence ? *shakes head*