September 2, 2005

waking up the blur

I don’t know if it’s me but, have you guys noticed that a lot of those Chinese educated individuals have weaker personality in nature? I’m not trying to be a bigot here but, I’ve seen far too many examples to develop this perception. So, before you clobber me up … try to understand it from my point of view (I’ve been called a banana many times before as well so… screw you)

Eg, each time when they’re having their episode of breakup, they’ll probably make it look as if they’ve just lost a parent or something.

Tears, love songs and all those kinds of bullshit. And hell… some would even attempt to dramatically take their own life in the most fashionable way, you know … “one last call to the bitch/bastard before I attempt to overdose myself with Tic Tacs… and I’m gonna slit my wrist with a Hello Kitty plastic knife…”. They’re so… unstable. [I’ve described a very good example here]

I’d say, blame it on the overwhelming exposure of pirated cheap romance novels. Because they’re so dirt cheap, these Chinese love bibles are widely available in prices that are affordable to even school kids. That’s how these ‘literary junks’ manage to find it’s place amongst the interests of the young… and would continue to influence them throughout their youth…

That’s damn sad if you were to ask me. I mean, we know that these romance novels could portend something that’s not healthy in the long term, and yet… there’s nothing that we can actually do about it. They’re rightfully legal.

Well, in that case, what we can do is to educate these “lost” people. I think it’s our responsibility as a friend/good person to remind them that their life is not a fairytale. Here, let me get the ball rolling :

Myth : It’s so romantic to be able to lie down on the grass with your loved one, basking under the warm sun and watching butterflies chasing each other.
Reality : It’s not romantic. Not only you’ll be getting more ‘beautiful’ itch spots on your body when bitten by 101 species of nasty bugs from the grass plain, but you’ll also elevate your chance of contracting skin cancer under that hot sun. That is, if you manage to not get yourself pass out from getting a heatstroke first.

Myth : Ooh each time I hug that cute fluffy teddy bear, I’m gonna think of my love like he’s right next beside me. I need more teddy bears. Teddy bears make me happy. Wheee !
Reality : You’re gonna also whiff in ounces of dust accumulated on the surface of your teddy bear, along with the entire ecosystem of bacterias hanging out inside the microscopic openings of the interwoven fabric. And if your teddy bear is made of a non safety compliant material, you’re gonna be whiffing in toxic molecules as well… again, elevating your chance of contracting cancer.

Myth : Wouldn’t it be nice if I’m able to spend my whole life living in a yellow colored beach house by the sea… you know… painting scenery whenever I’m bored and thinking of him whenever I’m lonely
Reality : And how are you gonna live through your life ? By feeding on sand and sea shells ? Don’t you need to go to work to pay for your bills (electricity, phone, water) ? How about your parents ? They didn’t bring you up to fucking live like a parasitic sleazebag that does nothing but to waste oxygen … do they ? Wake up, moron !

Myth : It would be so cool to say goodbye to my lover under the rain… in an alley lit by a dim but romantic street light
Reality : I suppose it’s really wise to stand under the rain in a dimly lit alley. Like you’ve got so much to give away to the muggers and horny boogeymen loitering around the slums. Ohh, and cute rabid dogs as well… they’re gonna shower you with plenty of love in the form of tetanus shots.

Myth : Yelling at planes are romantic
Reality : No it’s stupid. Try to do that in the airport and you’ll get to spend a lot of romantic moments with the security guards inside the interrogation room.

You get the idea.

In case you’re a person of few words and you wanted to contribute to the society, you can help by just saying “Naaa” to the person who needed it. Know what’s a “naaa” ? Refer illustration below:

May the force be with all of you.

michaelooi  | enlightenments  | 

23 Comments to “waking up the blur”

  1. megabigblur says:

    Aiyo. This SO reminds me of a Taiwanese soap opera that my friend (she’s from the People’s Republic itself) got addicted to. What made it worse was that she lived on the same floor as a bunch of giggly freshmen…all same personality =PPP

  2. racheal says:

    i think i’ll try to not take that to heart.

    though really,

    ever been in love it hurts?

    or gotten out of a relationship with the rug pulled out of you?

    maybe it’s cynicism, or maybe it’s honesty.

    but yes

    love needs to be seen without the rose colored glasses.

    hugs

  3. teddseven says:

    yeah love hurts but life goes on..

    too much of those pathetic chinese romance movies and dramas. no reality to it..

    breakup already so what just cry a bit and be depressed for a week then forget abt it and move on. no use thinking abt it.

  4. insomniac says:

    Yeah, there are actually clueless, hopelessly-lost chicks swimming in this Mills&Boons-type bullshit who actually believe these things could happen to them, in real life!
    Ironically, they’re usually kinda reserved and don’t really socialise much; hanging-out in their room soaking up this BS.

  5. tyra says:

    for me it’s pointless 2 explain 2 those typical chinese uneducated gfs dat…virgin or non-virgin doesnt define a person’s worth *sigh*…cldnt agree more on those silly tawainese movies…

  6. Gregenz says:

    ahhh~!! [cracking knuckles ready to type…]

    firstly, i’d agree with some of you..fucking taiwanese soap BS..since my kiddie days until now..fucking CRY, Suicide…TEARS…arrrgh!! even the korean dramas are like that…comon..man…especially crying / touched (after a love confession after all the twists and turns) under the snow…stand there longer..see what happens in real life dudes..

    Chinese educated (girls especially) are usually conservative..some i know..they tell me..they wish they will experience this from their bfs/future bfs…duh…sad…

    Getting hurt? why hurt and cry about it man? you regret the fuck ups you did that pissed your loved one off? so why do it?

    Referring to mikes FEIHAI..shes the typical ones i see in the office…but damn..for one of them in my office…if she wasnt like that..shes a potential hottie..she looks forward to going back..with a box of tissue..her teddy bear..sits infront of her tv..watches her korean/taiwan dramas…cries her lungs out for no fucking reason…the following day ..her eyes are so swollen u’d think she just came back from a boxing session…

  7. plink says:

    The funniest bit is that the guys also buy into this.
    Ever seen one of these people try to set up a contrived situation, as if it was going to happen out of the series/books?

    Myth: Contrived situations get you the woman of your dreams.
    Reality: Ever notice what happens to the lucky couple six episodes after the setup/smoochy-smoochy phase?

  8. zbjernak says:

    hehehehehe

    some people like to dream…
    and dreams do take u to places u wanted…

    so no harm lah dreaming for once in a while…

    for those….mental problem… cant hlp much…
    they will treat u as enemy if u try to wake them up

    i would say…let them dream … else if they change hobby to driving like housewife…then we are in deep shit

  9. oliviasy says:

    naaaaaa…….. :P jk

  10. Din says:

    Hi man, just to let you know, I’m back on the blogoshpere.

    Ironically, you were the reason I started blogging in the first place. Thanks Mike!

  11. michaelooi says:

    megabigblur / teddseven – Usually, it’s books lar. But I agree that soap operas do play a part as well.

    racheal – life goes on. move on with it. time is the healer… not moons and stars…

    insomniac – Yeah, wishing on the stars that some muscular hunk’s gonna ride a white horse up to them and say “Wanna fuck?”.

    tyra – Not to say them uneducated lar (though for some ah lians… yes).. it’s just that, they’re kinda ‘lost’. Too sentimental to face the cold cruel world. It’s not gonna work.

    gregenz – Some wipe their phlegm and drools on their teddy bear, i kid you not. Guys, if you plan to hug that piece of bacteria infested piece of filthy bear… you better pop more vitamins…

    plink – Yeah I’ve seen guys acting like a wuss just because they think their acts are romantic. Hint: Look at some of the blogs nowadays… you’ll get what i mean…

    zbjernak – To dream is ok. To live like a dream is not.

    olivia – You got meh ? I got the real thing here … NAAA…

    din – Cheers on the new domain dude. I’ve updated your link.

  12. strawroot says:

    sounds so funny yet so true hehehee .. like “always in the movie”

  13. zxy says:

    Kanasai. I’d still say that there’s low correlation between Chinese-eds and mushy-ness. Don’t be a ‘education racist’. Not sexy, yo.

  14. plink says:

    * Looks at lovestruck guys’ blogs *
    * Looks at lovestruck girls’ blogs *
    * Looks at own blog *

    AAIIEE…!! Major attack of perasan-ism.

    * Runs screaming for the hills. Go kill self/ take poison/ jump in front of bus/car/train. *

    * Stand soaking wet in rainstorm shouting at sky: ‘Dim Guy? Dim Guy?!’ *

  15. michaelooi says:

    zxy – ‘education racist’ … whatever that is …*chuckles*

  16. kinGz666 says:

    hahaha yeahh I agree totally ! Chinese educated fella do make me sick ! I have friends who get so emotionally attached to love stories, songs etc., and whenever rejection happens, he/she would act as though it’s a big thing and then would give responses which would resemble those from ” Windstruck “, ” Winter Sonata “, ” Kindred Spirit ” etc etc hehe…
    Haihh thinking of the past, during my Primary + Secondary school levels, I used to be such.. hehe and reminiscing about the past, I feel so shameful now haha ! Ppl should learn to be more pragmatic about love and all these days…

  17. Primroses says:

    Chee-na people got so “lomantik” meh? Suggest go eat beef steak and candlelight also dunno ler. Some more suggest lie-down-on-grass crap wer. Hold a ciggie and puff to make them look cool got ler. You give them too much credit oh! They’ll probably read the Myths and go like “oh ya hor, why I didn’t think of this hor” and try it despite the description on reality. Feh!

  18. michaelooi says:

    kingGz666 – And guys are turning into pussies because of these influences …

    primrose – Hmmmm … must give face a bit maaa…

  19. tEo says:

    hmm…somehow i feel a bit guilty when reading this post.
    Actually, i’m one of those who grew up in reading romance novels; Mills & Boon, Judith McNaught’s, Julie Garwood’s etc. In fact, i juz finished reading 2 Mills & Boon novels this weekend in my journey to and fro home. But nope, i’m not chinese educated.
    Althou sometimes i do dream, i’m still sober enough to know that those plot will never happen in real life as life will never be fairytale-like. ;)

  20. MutantTomato says:

    Ok, here’s my warped perspective on this whole issue. Well, actually its my warped asnwer to stop your girl/boy from saying that oh-so-ANNOYING sentence to you:
    “Why can’t you be more like him/her?” where him/here refers to their favourite soap character.

    Just tell them “Well, my favourite actresss/actor is this super duper ‘powderful’ pornstar. Perfect body and rides like a derby winning jockey. Why can’t you be more like that?”

    Two things will happen:
    1. Your significant other will stop annoying you with that silly question.
    2. He/she will break up with you, which means you CAN actually find someone who fits your porn actor/actress profile.

    See? Its a win-win situation! ahahahahaha!!

  21. jc says:

    tEO
    No need to feel guilty. I believe you know it will never happen in real life that is why you are reading them….dreams mah. People do need to ‘dream’ once in a while.

    michaelooi
    the worse are not the ‘chinese educated ones’. The worse are the ones who are only ‘educated in chinese’. Doesn’t understand malay or even english. And they blame the ‘bananas’ or look down on them for not understanding mandarin. (My grandma is even smarter than them – at least she is able to speak bahasa pasar.) I have only have one thing to say to this people- don’t call yourself a malaysian. You are a disgrace to Malaysia if you can’t even speak the national language. Go back to china.

  22. piggy says:

    damn…you are so true man. Got a conservative good friend here who moans and laments on his lost love everytime he hears the mandarin version of winter sonata(by Jeff Chang), said it reminds him of his breakup with his true love… GOD now I hears that song, I just feel geli… GOT to show him your blog.

  23. XO says:

    The main reason why I never watch anything Taiwanese/Korean. Cheesy and stereotypical. Bleurgh.
    Hehe love your cynicism.
    And realise how in chinese shows whenever X chases Y who has just run away due to a misunderstanding/unwanted pregnancy/infidelity, there is bound to be a thunderstorm? C’mon!

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