Ever wondered why do we have these funny flat curly hairs on parts of our body where the sun don’t shine ? Well, I never gave a thought about that until somebody threw me that question. (People always throw me funny questions. Like I’m very smart like that.)
So …why ? Why our body has got to be so consummately barren like that and only to have these isolated oasis of weird wiry hairs on different parts of our bodies ? (alright, there maybe some people who have hairs all over their body. These people, I suspect, are the missing link between us completely evolved humans and apes… so, let’s discount them from our observation…)
I almost cooked my brain thinking about it … and finally it hit me like a wall of bricks – on why do we have these funny looking hairs projecting out from our body like it’s very out of place.
You see, I noticed that these flat curly hairs often grow on areas with following combination of characteristics:
1) sun don’t shine.
2) under the joints of some moving parts.
So, we’re talking about armpits, the perineum and those corrugated + wrinkly trenches surrounding the sphincter of your butthole there. Now what are the key connections between these forbidden regions of our body ? Well, except that they smell like belacans (shrimp cakes)… these are, in fact, the areas of our body that are exposed to the highest amount of chafing.
Armpits – when our arms move. Perineum and those canyons down there – when our legs move. Butt cracks – when your buttcheeks collide. So on.
Now we know chafing is not good for humid celled body parts as it could cause blisters. So, evolution played its part by growing a solution out of it – hairs. Presence of hairs on these crevices of doom acts as a friction reducer… you know… as a bearing between both moving surfaces. Pretty much like how you move a piece of heavy flat rock on top of an array of logs. You reduce the friction with the logs and thus be able to move the rock with less work done.
(come to think of it, perhaps this was the principle that gave the Egyptians the idea to move those big ass blocks of limestones to build the pyramids… no shit !)
These logs… I mean… hairs, they aren’t really round. They’re kinda flat and curly … now why is that ? Simple. As they’re not as stiff as real logs (we’ll be damned if they are…), they sort of became curly after enduring through vigorous rubbing and abrasion… pretty much like how you roll a strand of dental floss with the tip of your fingers – they’ll curl up. The lack of sunlight might have played a part too. But that requires further confirmation by having a volunteer to spend more time basking his/her armpits under the scorching sun. (email me the results, I’d be interested if it would really turn back straight…)
Now, how about those patch of hairs above our reproductive organs ? They don’t seem to conform the theory of friction reducer…since there are no moving parts above the dick/beaver. So what’s the problem here ?
Ahhhh… if only you people could think… THE FRICTION ONLY HAPPENS WHEN A COUPLE FUCKS EACH OTHER ! 2 become 1 ! So, that thicket of curly bush exists for a reason that pretty much like why you have wheels under your car – to smooooooooothen the ride. So, theoretically, if you can hump faster than rabbits, you’re gonna have a thicker bush.
So there you have it – the reason behind those crazy hairs. Thanks for reading.
Yeap, not to mention when male try to repark their “car”. It’ll make easier…
okay….i duno wutta say *speechless* too awed by the brilliant answer hahahah!
Very interesting theory of evolution. hahaha…
What’s this: the Breeding Bush theory of curly hair?
Wakaka…!!! Imagine what the situation must be like for parents of large (5+ kids) families: hair where the sun don’t shine must be like Afro hairstyle!!
Scary, boss!
yeah, chinese are not allowed to shave down there if she’s not married yet…….
HA3 gota pass dis insight 2 my bf… u amazed me everytime mike…cldnt stop laughing @ work now :p on another note… y do “some” guys like bleached pubic hair??? or even shaved? wat say u?
God create man and women in naked, didn’t know human are damn F smart know how to dress armani, padani, dockers and … the hair i think is suppose to protect our fire canon from getting sun burn, same as our hair to protect our brain. but arm pit one?? so I guess god figure he made a mistake, and now sending Bella, marie france to ammend his productions error :)
I am not amuse about this hair thing issue. But more to a question
Why you are Michael and not Sammy Value, why i am Goldnugget, what the hell we actually are. Why i can feel, fantasy, flirt and fuck
with multi orgasm? why i look like this and not Brad Pitt? can you understand what i am trying to said?
i suddenly feel so enlightened… LMAO!!!
beef stew – Yeah bebeh … heheh … yeah !
gutsy – May the force be with you.
KK – I know…
plink – Well, doesn’t necessary has to be a lot of kids. We have condoms nowadays don’t we ? Be very surprised.
ahlian – Really mehhhhh ?
tyra – Your boyfriend needed the enlightenment i suppose… heheh.
goldnugget – No I don’t. Now go play somewhere else… here’s 20 cents.
olivia – It’s always a pleasure of mine to help the needed.
michael..yeah so single old woman is very bushy and long lah becos so long never shave rite, so do u likes shaved or unshaved ah?
oi, sure or not :p
You never fail to make me laugh with your theories/findings. You definately think a lot.
Hmm, that kinda explains hair in nostrils?? *dig dig friction dig*
ahlian: Ya meh? Chinese not allowed to shave down there if she’s not married meh? What happens if she did it even before she is married? The men won’t want her ah??
This theory is the best I heard of all bodily reason! LOL
damn..been away for days…i miss this blog!
whoaa…got such a thing meh?? cant shave before marriage meh?? this i’m gona ask my grandma…shes open with these things hahah personally, i dont mind shaved or unshaved as long as she keeps it “tidy” haha~
nay..my bf likes d natural way :p it’s my cousin’s husband..he said “its sexier & cleaner (WTF?”..FYI did u noe dat in dubai…waxing d pubic hair into shapes (ie heart) is a fashion trend among those married muslim ladies?..once my cousin & i tried & damn it hurts as hell..ouccch! & d outcome was hideous..reminded me on those japanese men mustache ha3!
So the hairs on my back are for…?
Less friction when big bubba humps me?
ahlian – Well, let’s just say, I prefer it untampered …
vad3r – Surrrrreeeeeee…
natasha – My profession requires me to think. *shrugs*
primrose – Errmmm… nostril hairs function as dirt trappers lar. Like how you trap fish with a bubu…
dils – You bet.
gregenz – You’re gonna ask your grandma about whether it’s ok to trim pubic hairs ?? ‘o_O
tyra – Ehhh… I thought dubai chicks cover up their body like ninjas… ? Like you can’t even see their eyebrows for fuck’s sake ? And you’re telling us deep inside, they’ve been waxing their pubic hairs into star shaped designs and all that ? Tiuuuu lorrrrr…
ST – You’re optimized for doggie style. Getting mounted on… that is…
Have you ever wondered why pubic hair are curly?
Mikey, so how fast is a rabbit’s hump?
YES!!! u be very surprised…d whole grooming (hair color, full heavy make-up, manicure/pedicure, waxing etc)of course 4 their husband’s eyes only..i was sooo shocked during my visit as well..aunt owns 6 saloons in dubai..booming business..even during fasting month…my poor cousin..said their breath smell as bad as BO u dislike so much…
Hahaha, I remember some time back how I tried to explain the last part, with the same explanation as yours, to someone who refused to believe me.
I must have her visit this site for confirmation!!
Well done!
mike: Forgot about condoms…. If can’t tell by number of kids, then looking at size of ‘packet’ (both guys and gals) should tell us about length and quality of humping history?
If you turned this entry into a documentary, ‘Crevices of Doom,’ (para 8) would be an excellent title.
ahlian, u sure chinese women not allowed to shave? old wives tale kua… hahahahahaha!
primrose/oliviasy…..yeah i gonna do it anyway, what happend if nobody married me when i am 60? i cant let it long till it touched the ground rite?
gregenz…..ur cracking me hahaaaaaaa
michael….erm….:P
penang – Err… it has been explained in the entry lar …
fish fish – I don’t know. Pretty fast. Could burn a condom i guess…
tyra – Hair color… GASP… they dye their pubic hair ??? *shakes head in disbelief…
iceberg – Well, great mind thinks alike…
plink – Theoretically, yeah. The bushier the person is, the more sexually active the person is…
olivia – Old wives don’t shave. They shed. LOL
ahlian – Where’s ah beng when you need him ? Heheh…
So… guys with large crotch bulge may be because of large balls or much shagging.
Women with large crotch bulge may be….
*EUUE..E..KKKK!!*
*(barfs out tonsils)*
About the curliness of hairs… Some hair (including scalp hair of naturally curly people) do not remain straight because the cross section of the strand is not circular, but flat. You can imagine that a flat ribbon will tend to curl more than a round piece of rope.
Maybe can get a piece of neatly cut armpit/leg/pubic hair and compare it sideby side with head hair using one of those super macro shots.
I feel stupid…that previous remark was just repeating what you had already wrote…
mike…before commenting,i asked my mum regarding women not shaving their pubes before marriage…”never heard of such a thing, maybe its to “show” that the cave is untouched” so thats why i said gotta consult my grandmum..see if she heard of such a thing mah!
well..anyways..heres a joke for you guys..
a guy and a girl, got ready for sex, the guy..diving his face to her clit and:
guy:” wow what a big pussy!” “wow what a big pussy!”
girl:”yes darling i know, you dont have to repeat it twice”.
guy: “no i didnt..”
err..i meant their hair on top :p but some do “bleach” not color their pubic hair.. lighter = sexier??? go figure…
I think most of the areas which sprout hair are the sweaty and shitty areas… maybe these dirty areas provide good fertilizers for ‘plants’ to grow.. That’s my theory anyway..
plink – Women with large crotch could be an indication of strong libido.
yee wei – Yaler … you got me a bit confused back there…
gregenz – Oooo … echo echo echo cho cho o o ….
tyra – I’ll never see the middle eastern chick the same way ever again…
abel – Protein, lots of them. If your theory works, then there’ll be no more bald people in this world. Coz they can just buy off the perspiration fluid off the Banglas and apply it on their balding spot… and they’ll have hairs grow naturally at that place (hey, curly hairs are better than NO HAIR at all…)
hey….if its 2 reduce fricion..then..back when we were young and the our armpits were still botak…how 2 reduce friction??
patricia – evolution made it in such a way … that babies do not grow hairs to preserve it’s cuteness. so that they’ll get the attention and care from their parents. Now, imagine a baby with armpit hairs and pubic hairs… man… that’ll be tragic. A lot of parents will be freaked out. So, maaa like that lor…
that’s also why girls shave here and there to look like a baby … to beckon for the attention and love alike…
i asked my fren abt this before…
we were also puzzled…
now i am clear abt tht
kakakakakak
One thing you haven’t explained…how come men have beards and women don’t? Women have softer skin so according to your theory we should have more facial hair to cushion right? (kissing a guy with a beard can be quite bristly…imagine taking a scrubbing brush and rub on your face)
True true, but how you know companies like Yun Nam are not already selling perspiration fluids? hahah! Maybe it’s already on those hair-sprays that they sell?
And as for balding people, their sweat may lack in protein and nutrients to keep it strong and healthy. Diff people have diff protein levels…
Mike,
What’s your take on facial hair?
Mike, looks like the New York Times decided to write about the same topic as you. You got insider contacts there ah?
people … facial hairs are not for kissing.
hint: eating clams, and sucking creams. Go figure.
So informative…. and now I know…. *laughs*