One of the 2 Touch n Go lanes was closed today. As a result of that, there was a long congestion of vehicles squeezing for the remaining one automatic lane exit (to the bridge). So, there were like 2 lanes merging into 1. Nobody was too happy about that and god knows how many innocent parents’ names and cusses were summoned right at that very moment.
But I managed to keep my cool about it and slowly maneuvered my Lorraine to the merging point. Just as I was about to enter the toll booth… suddenly an inconsiderate SLK (Small Little Kelisa) sped through the SmartTag express lane and attempted to illegally shove itself into the queue I was in. Yes, it was a lady driver. Porcine bitch in her late 20′s wearing an absurd oversized JLo sunglasses.
The car in front of me refused to give in but that SLK was already halfway across in front of me. Not wanting to risk scratching/denting my car against that heap, I gave way and let it jump into the queue. But of course… I didn’t let her in ‘just like that’. I graced the fucking bitch with my air horn while she’s at it.
I could see the result almost immediately… and she wasn’t too happy about that. She flailed her arms as if a bee had just stung her clit and was irrationally screaming inside her car. She was like… madddd. But too bad I could not hear what she was yelling about (if only she realized that…).
As if she had the right of passage to barge through any traffic jam queues anywhere on this planet.
Bah !
Knowing that she’s looking at me through her rear view mirror, I showed her an internationally recognized middle finger greeting. And she got even more excited after that. It was a sight to behold.
Later when we were on the bridge, I caught up with her car and took a good look at her… Here’s what I managed to observe:
1) She had a Snoopy sticker on her fuel door.
2) She had a menagerie of soft toys hanging around her screen.
3) She looked like a fire hydrant.
I glowered at her through her side passenger screen and gave her a few short burst of my honk, beckoning her to look over. I was gesticulating at her with my hand to show her the snapping muzzle of a barking dog (insinuating that she’s a bitch). But too bad, she didn’t. She kept her rigid posture trying to ignore me. (But I think she might had actually stole a couple of glances through her oversized sunglasses)
Oh well, what the fuck. She probably thought I might be some savage dude on my way to rob a bank or something… and decided not to mess with me. (ironically, she looked like a really hungry disgruntled cannibal earlier…).
Wackos… they’re everywhere.
mebbe she din intentionally do it leh? honked her once not enuff meh? LOL pity dat bitch! =P
Damn! What kinda face is that?! OOooouuu..
Amazing what selfish c**ts people turn into when they get behind a steering wheel. Sorry, most of these people are like that anyway. I see the same shit every day during my short drive to work. In my country there is a great risk that you will get shot though if you flip someone like a taxi driver the bird…
wah makan lane still dare to show tantrum…??
if i makan people lane normally i will do it as if no other cars there…ignore them totally pretend to be blind for tht moment….
hehehehheheheehe….
i bet the slk girl damn irritated and serve her right….. slk…..sorry to say… those SLKs sometime really a nuisance to the traffic…
they thought they are small and they can do anything….ceh
Ai yah, you must always think what she was in it that very moment. be cold and kind hearted :) may be she is in hurrry to get fuck by his boy friend who is waiting at his condo? :)
For me If i am born to have power and money, I sure drive a old truck and squeeze tru those who park their car any where and always there. eg like Chow Yang SS2, nasikandar Kayu, people always park their car at the edge or the corner of the road and make people so difficult to turn and go tru, espeically big bus coming, shit, SKL no chance no chance at all :(
Same here dude, there was one idiot that went through the SmartTag lane only the jump in to mine. But I was luckier than you, I downed that sucker and so does the 7 cars behind me!
That’s the first time I saw the frustrated eye of the stupid idiot trying shortcut his way to the bridge.
uhmmm… well I have one more thing going for me la; I’m Indian. :) what I mean is, when some yuppie or aunty/uncle tries the same shit, I just act like one of them estate fellas i.e. lower window, start swearing in Tamil and gesticulate wildly that I’m going to “chop” them! Its really funny la. And also pretty damn amazing to see how fast some cars can pick up and leave!
It helps when you haven’t shaved in 2 days or more and also haven’t combed your hair! ahahahaha!!!
Yeah… I hate drivers who cut queue. Especially the ones which decided to cut queue right in front before turning into a junction, pass a traffic or just right before the road divider starts.
Micheal .. you could snap a photo of that “dangerous driver” and send it into the Panducermat website!
Cheers.. I’ve had to put up with those kind of idiots/imbeciles in KL more often than in Penang.
gutsygal – Pity that bitch ? I wouldn’t call her a bitch in the first place if I have compassionate for cretins like her…
w3s – Gesticulation dude. Gesticulation. I use my hands… not my face lah.
andre – If killing someone is legal in my country, I wouldn’t hesitate to pop a cap into the cranium of that fucking bitch. Uh uh… no second thoughts.
zb – SLKs are not actually a nuisance. It’s the drivers themselves that are the nuisance. I’ve seen Mercedes Benz pulling inconsiderate stunts many times before. I think it’s the chlorine in our water.
goldnugget – She can be in a hurry to give birth… but that’s still not everyone’s problem. When you’re on the road, you’re bound by the traffic rules. You break them, you pay.
jase – These people never learn do they ? Tak malu. I’ve even seen people who would shove into the automatic lanes wanting to pay cash… thus jamming up a whole queue of traffic.
tomato – There’s once a Renault Kangoo tried to shove into my queue. It got so near that it almost hit my driver side mirror. That was when I wound down my window, and pounded the car’s bonnet with my fist… and pointed at him ala Bruce Lee style. The guy actually got panic and he stalled his car right in the middle between 2 queues of traffic.
natasha – Nobody likes them, dear…
ahmog – Waste of effort lah dey…
I have this thing against small cars in general cause they do all those annoying things lar..cut into your lane like they’re indestructable etc.
I share a car with me bro now, and the other day my Mum suggested I think about getting my own car. Considering I’ve only been working for about 6 months, I can jolly well forget about getting a Honda Jazz etc. Mum then STRONGLY suggests I get a Kancil or Kelisa. (-_-”)
SOD IT. I’ll go check out the Myvi instead. THAT or I’ll take LRT for now instead until I can afford another car.
mebbe she sked u sum mafia taikor. so she din dare look at you.
We have all this shit every where. Some have even started to think that this is virtually ok. The fact is..it is not! What can you do? Nothing. Just live with it.
zaman aku pakai volvo dulu aku pernah gesel satu camry (lady driver) sebab dia potong queue. Dia tak berani keluar sebab ada 3 orang dalam kereta.
Aku queue macam nak mati, senang-senang jer dia potong.
Hehe…
Nice one lar Mike… :) I have also caused queue jumpers to get into accidents. This one is the most satisfying! Near my place, there is this junction notorious for queue jumpers. Once I was in the queue waiting to go. This aunty comes up right next to me and tries to cut in. When the light turned green, I honked at her and signalled that she could cut in. Just as she was about to, I accelerated forward. She had to swerve and by doing so, smacked into the large stone divider in front of her.
The damage was PRETTY bad to her car. That definitely made my day man! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!
raksha – Good choice. I heard that Kancils/Kelisas are prone to get bullied in KL city… Might as well get a used Japanese car…
oliviasy – But I don’t look like one worrrrr
blade650 – Well, that’s when an air-horn would come in handy…
apomputeh – Ooh volvo ! Ada kawan I kat opis pernah bergeser dengan volvo. Kereta dia kena ditarik dek towtruck… and volvo tu cuma scratches je. (dia pakai Wira). Cinabeng betuih…
tomato – THat’s cool man. Eric pulled the same stunt once as well. There’s a container truck tried to cut into his lane and was greeted with a blast of a honk when he refused. Pissed, Eric pulled an emergency brake and the truck (which was still behind) went into a big drain. It caused a massive traffic jam over at that area and we went to celebrate the event at a nearby restaurant…
Wah seh! SLK vs Lorraine. Boh chai si. Coward, don’t dare to look. Just because they *think* they are an SYT driving an SLK. Buih tahan!
if everyone in Malaysia gives way without horn blasting/middle-fingering/etc, there would be less road bully incidents involving hospital needing damage to the body.
tsk.
but than again, if everyone in Malaysia does not queue jump, then there wont be any need to send them to the hospital.
this means that everyone would have to drive like a civilised person, rather than some barbarian.
You just can’t win!
youaremonkey: Which also means that hospitals no business liau. Choi!
bitch. should have several emergency brakes on her
MutantTomato,
That was a bad thing to do, mate. If she’s attempting to cut in, don’t give way, flip her off, stare her down…etc.
But, pretending to be generous by indicating to her that u are giving her way and she can cut in, only to accelerate without warning and causing her to take evasive measures that resulted in her crashing her car into something is just plain bad, bro.
You may not be so lucky, next time; your car might suffer damage.
insomnia – community service ah?
these asshole the reason we got A VERY LONG TRAFFIC JAM!!! allways jumping queue man and woman all same….. .It happen all in malaysia…
I give you 1 example,toll booth and penang bridge 1st toll booth:thosewho pay cash….,jump queue at TnG lane or smart tag lane then come back in cash lane… at 1 time i saw 1 car want drive thru smart tag lane ,oh that car doest have 1;ha he want a free lor… .but he failed and had to pay..
now at penang bridge… same case…., but the number plate is P?? 0000 is P? , walao… every 1 working and after work is very weak after work,alot of stress and tension. if cannot wait buy TnG or smatTag lor…
I don’t know now still got samething happen or not but if they all wait,very 1 happy.
yeah i know the feeling.. just becoz i drive a proton iswara and am a woman driver..
bigger cars with bigger male/female arse holes (esp those drive big 4WD/SUV like Ford Escape, Rexton) think they can bully me on the road and cut queues. i usually highlight them (if it is at night), honk them and show the universal middle finger..
nowadays when i happened to come across ppl like this, i do not show my mid finger (my dad warned me coz i am girl and should not be rude…bleh!) so i would curse them.. rude women are dickheads and rude men are pussies..
spanker – I just think that ain’t right, that’s all. I hate queue-jumpers, too. I get pissed off, too. Usually, I squeeze them out; don’t allow them space to cut in.
If I’m especially upset, I cuss, honk, stare & glare, flip them off…etc.
However, deliberately causing an accident is just plain shocking.
insomniac – You’re a nice person i guess. For me, I think these people ought to be taught a lesson or two. Not that MutantTomato’s disemboweling the bitch’s mother-in-law or something… He’s just merely translating her traffic offense into monetary values (fixing bumpers, headlights).
If a person’s too concerned about not getting an accident themselves, well… be considerate. Abide the traffic rules. (No shit).
*did you guys know how many fatal accidents that has been caused by these inconsiderate assholes that love to shove in and out illegally on open roads ? So what’s a fix of a bumper to these imbeciles ? Serves them right I’d say.
michael – Don’t u want to be “nice”, too? Come, my son, come over to the ‘dark’ side. Together, we will reign over all queue-jumpers…muahahaha!