peking-bitch
I was having my lunch with the guys at a food court when I saw this lady wearing a miniskirt prancing towards our direction. She was doing that type of walk deliberately made to inflict maximum amount of jerk, so to cause the ‘bouncing’ effect. Her head was held high to maintain her cool…
I was needless to say, watching. Not because she’s hot or something, but because I’m curious. I’m curious how she managed to get such high confidence when she’s looking so catastrophic like that. Flabby, saggy, and because she tilted her head so high, I managed to even notice that she has an abnormally protruding jowl like a caveman’s. Simply amazing.
I continued to hoover my bowl of noodles, totally disregarding her catwalk of fame. But just as she was walking past beside me (just a couple inches away)… she suddenly gave out a yelp and I saw her skidding through the floor, maintaining her balance in the process, her hands flailing all over the place.
Apparently, because she held her head too up high, she didn’t notice that there’s a puddle of greasy water on the floor. And the next thing she know, she’s skiing right in the middle of a scorching hot day. But that fat piece of tumor was good, she managed to balance herself up without falling, which was kinda amazing in the whole sense. She must be a gymnast during her youth (which was probably dated wayyy back when the Japanese was busy campaigning their invasion to the south riding on bicycles…)
Just as I was stifling myself from cracking up, Wilson, who also noticed the whole blooper, said to me
Wilson : “Hahahh! Too bad she didn’t fall to give you a tight hug…”
That was a blatant effort of him to spoil my day.
Me : “Damn, up yours lah ! Did you see how she looked like and how she condescendingly walked ? She looked like that ..that … ancient caveman skull they dug from China … I forgot the name”
TC : “Hahahh… Peking-man.”
Me : “Yeah yeah ! Peking-man ! Peking-bitch perhaps. I wonder why those scientist are wasting so much effort and money on archeology… when we got a live one roaming around freely in our Malaysian society like this …”
And I just happened to see one doing a live acrobatic balancing in front of me. Simply priceless.
Lesson to be learnt : ALWAYS WATCH WHERE YOU’RE WALKING !
Well, that’s because they (Some) know that they are “Horrendously FUGLY”. So, they’ve got this “Die-die-also-must-behave-as-if-I-damn-CHUN” attitude.
EG : Wear Branded Clothes, Carry Fake LV, Spray branded perfume like mad & etc.
Well, I’ve got this somebody I know whom said this to me, “I am not pretty, but I am CUTE.”
In my heart, “Yeah, & I want to puke!”
Your luck with ladies around you astounds me dude, unfortunate that you have most luck with “peking-bitches”
However If i were you man, i would at least be kind enough to add some cool effects or a beat to her performance…can’t blame ya while u’re cracking up tho..maybe next time.
Maybe she had a nose job earlier that day. Poor Peking-bitch trying to hold it and fight the gravity.
Lucky she didn’t fall man. if she does, maybe all the fake body parts will detach from her body then…
I wonder how her daughter will turn out to be like (if she has one).
*Shudder*
Amik cuti la Micheal. Rehat otak.
w3s - Tell her … my dick’s cute too. And because you claim that you’re cute, therefore, you look like a dick.
gregenz - Like … kick her while she’s still balancing ? I can do that… but I’m gonna have to waste a bowl of noodle since I have to bail after that.
beef stew - Nose job eh ? I thought she doesn’t have a nose. That’s a snout.
apomputeh - Akan … akan…
lol The way you talk about women it’s obvious you’re a virgin. Keep up the good work, keep on judging women on a purely physical or bitch attitude level and you’ll never get laid, opps my bad of course you’ll get laid, when mommy or daddy hook you up with a nice chinese wife. Now go back to surfing porn little boy. Bye
Aiyoh, Mike, give us some good news lah, so that this freaking haze will be just a little more bearable.
Where are the cun ones? No encounters, ah? No sweet-smiling babe u see almost every morning taking the same elevator, ah?
Or, the beautiful one from another company in the same building who always greets u with a seductive-sounding “Hello Michael”?
shiela - Hmmpppffhh… I’m still a virgin alright… and yeah I’m still surfing porn. Oh boy I’m so worried I’ll never get laid…
insomniac - Got meh ?
wow! jowl! I have to look up the dictionary whether this is a real word or not?
to insomniac: if he write that the wifey will kill him and ban him from bloging d hahahaha!
m@ri,
Looking, smiling, returning a greeting boleh lah. More than that, kena lah!
Besides, Mikey is constantly writing about boobs, butts, legs…etc. LOL!
LOL! Maybe she wanna boing boing her boobies leh?
m@ri: You mean you don’t know? Of course it’s an English word!
m@ri - ban me ? errr… can you please look back at my archive, how many times I have blogged such topic before. Heck, I even have a dedicated category for that (GOC) ! hahah
insomniac - Eh, quit acting lar… all guys talk about that, ok ?
primrose - Well, that’s what I mean when I said she’s bouncing. Trying to bounce her tits to attract attention. Lame.
Primrose,
Now, now, show some empathy for the brother with the limited vocab.
No need for that ostensible display of surprise.
Mike,
“Acting”? Huh?
That was exactly my point; I was basically telling m@ri that blogging about it is no big deal, u do it all the time.
Without us men, the porn industry would collapse! LOL
hahahaha…. sad to say this but many women just do not know how to be modest and let what ever little beauty in them blossom on its own….. they try SO hard to get any sort of attention (esp from the opposite sex) even if it cost them their pride and decency….. look, not only females feel annoyed, males get offended…. isn’t that enough to make U realise… tsk tsk tsk….
(mike, u think i’m gonna get in trouble for this? haha..)