plastic dreams
I saw this programme about plastic surgery on Discovery (during a break in our cafeteria) and was totally fucked in the brain by the content of it. Almost sprayed my glass of Horlicks Ho-Late on the face of my colleague when a part of the programme showed a middle aged housewife bared her skin to the camera - for the plastic surgeon to do the explaining bit.
The surgeon explained that the housewife, whom I reckoned was in her 50’s, had problems with her weight (as if the viewer couldn’t tell by themselves) and went there to have her coagulated lards surgically sucked out (term: liposuction). The camera then pans to that bloated mountain of cellulite … macro in the view of her ridged flabs of punctured spare tyres and detailing the cracked epidermal layer of her overstretched skin. It even showed some part of her saggy tits … (which I described to my colleagues that it was saggy enough to be able to incubate an egg under each of her tits) It was damn graphical.
For a second there, it gives me an idea that being a plastic surgeon is the toughest job on this planet. No shit.
The programme then briefly took the screen into the surgical room, where the scene gets even more repulsive - we get to see all these skin grafting activities, blood and gores, etc etc… and finally post the whale-butchering scene, the recuperated housewife was then shown giving some testimonial about the whole thing, you know, how it had improved her life bla bla bla.
Apparently, she did all that to impress her semi-impotent-looking wrinkled husband. I mean, did she actually think that all the high cost and painful transformation would really improve her relationship with her husband ? Didn’t it occur to her that her Huttese form will be resurrected again in no time because she may have some serious eating disorder ? Or her failing relationship might be due to something else ? It was very mind boggling about what women would do to look better.
The same goes for those who went for a boob job. The ladies made their boobs bigger to boost their ’self-confidence’ and in hope obscure the less appealing side of their physique. But would that actually make guys feel better about them ? Guys, do you feel good about girls having fake titties ? Not for me dude. The first thing that crosses my mind when I see a girl with fake tits, is SLUT. “You cheap motherfucking bawdy slut!” (trust me, I can spot a fake set of titties even in my most inebriated condition). Give me an original anytime.
A sane being should be able to figure out that a relationship isn’t all about walloping bigger tits or having a lighter agile sex. It’s much more deeper than that. No shit we guys love to ogle at tits and slobbering at hot bods. But when it comes to serious relationship, it could very well be something that’s much more complex than that. Complex things like
- your attitude (behaving like a bitch, cunt, despicable hag),
- your habits (splurging on something you don’t need, etc)
- your wisdom (squawking over the simplest of dissatisfaction, etc)
- many more
If your spouse’s leaving you, you should instead ask yourself - Are you being rational as a wife ? Have you done what it needs to be in a happy relationship ? Is your spouse an asshole ? If it’s all yes - then fuck him. Get a new husband. If it’s all no - then FUCK YOU. Go fix your problems.
Nobody needs no plastic surgery. (unless you’re badly disfigured from some accidents or because you’re a superstar that needed all that perfection for monetary benefits)
When you’re old, you’re old. If you’re not good looking, you’re not good looking. Just accept the fact. You will still be an eyesore if you have a personality problem, no matter how much botox you inject into your body… or how much grease you manage to vacuum out from your ass. And it wouldn’t change the fact that your desperate whorehound husband would still prefer to hump a promiscuous young chick with original tits for a couple hundred bucks … rather than having sex with a stiff silicone corpse like you.
If only these people could think.
And also, if you would deign to imagine how your corpse would look like with a pair of silicone bags after your biological cells start to wither or rot away… you’d look ridiculous. Dead or alive.
It’s all to do with vanity; women are basically vain creatures. Of course, they’ll give u the customary bullshit, saying they do it for men cause we are only concerned with looks, tits, asses…etc.
A woman wants to look good; needs to look good; wants to be seen looking good; and needs to be told she looks good.
sadly, many ppl still go for boob jobs. penang tourism remember? it’s all mktg gimmick. sad sad.
Some of the potential risks of liposuction. Damn!
- Infection
- The formation of fat clots or blood clots, which can loosen and move to the lungs (a potentially fatal condition called pulmonary embolism)
- Too much fluid loss, leading to shock and potentially death
- Fluid accumulation
- Nerve damage that causes numbness or changes in sensation
- Swelling that lasts for several weeks or months after the procedure
- Skin death (necrosis), in which the skin above the liposuction site sloughs off and dies and/or becomes infected
- Burns from the ultrasound probe
- Punctures to the organs (For example, the intestines may be punctured during abdominal liposuction.)
- Drug reactions, including reactions to the lidocaine fluid that is injected in the tumescent and super-wet techniques
- Rippling or indentation under the skin if the doctor removes too much fat
- Scarring (although doctors make every attempt to keep the scars small and hidden)
In rare cases, liposuction can lead to death. Research on the subject is mixed, but estimates range from 3 to 100 deaths per 100,000 liposuction procedures.
HAhahhahahahhaha!!
Funny and yet serious post, totally there with you.
Do you really think so? I always thought guys were superficial. D’uh, no doubt about that, but would you actually date an ugly chick?
Haha. I’ve touched silicon inserted nen-nen b4 la. Really no shiok! GO ORIGINAL. GO NATURAL!! LOL
OK, Michael, what’s the difference between real titties and fake silicon ones?
Imagine also what it’s like for dead guys who had gone for butt implants also.
Must stop drinking coffee while browsing your blog….
insomniac - They want to feel good as well. And they are willing to go through all kinds of shits to feel good.
oliviasy - It’s sad really. There’s basically nothing in Penang except good food and spontaneous traffic congestions.
thri-p - It’s suppose to be educational. Hmmpfff
amber - This has nothing to do with personal preferences. Some ugly chicks get dated for some unfathomable reasons…
willwolf - Oooooh … you kneaded a silicon bag before. *salute*. I’ve only went as far as looking at it with my own eyes at some titty bar in USA. They’re horrendous.
plink - Butt implants ?? Why would anyone want to do that ? Tiuuu lor!
randomshinichi - You mean, you don’t know how to differentiate them ? What the fuck dude ??
Alright, fake titties are usually unnaturally round and stiff looking … and usually forms a large canyon instead of a nice cleavage in betweeen the boobies. This usually occurs when the person do not have enough fat tissue to complement the fake racks. Natural tits are usually droopy in shape and does not bulge on the upper part unless being pushed up.
thousand and one symptoms. visit awfulplasticsurgery link on the left for more info
Yo mike, yesterday you talked about being old and hating it. Today you talked about an old lady getting plastic surgery. Coincidence? Is there a pattern that needs to be figured out here? Hehehe please elaborate…
*peek at me boobies*
*knead knead me boobies*
Ok, they are real alright.
Heh, heh!
Hey dude… i’ve seen one of those documentaries too and it disgusted me sooooo much. It can really put u off especially when they show what goes on in the operation room. Fucking disgusting shits!!! yucks. and fake = terrible!!
Love em nice and bouncy…. yum yum….
I’ve yet to seen fake boobies among M’sians..
But I can imagine.. You know, like you are carrying Mr.Sia’s balls (Coconut Size) along the streets..
But I’ve seen ULTRA size boobs, & they happened to belong to some really FAT chicks.. Buy hey, seriously, nothing against FAT chicks.. I am a FAT hunk, can?
haiyo…you might be getting hate mails from plastic surgeons after this…you know…those straight As ones…telling you to shut up and threaten to shove silicon up your ass…haha…these plastic surgeon programmes are not new and there’s even the series ‘Nip and Tuck.’ Somemore in UK here, there’s a programme called ‘Sex Inspectors’ telling straight/gay couples (sometimes the bloke’s ugly, the girl’s cun and the other way around) to perform sex in front of them and then advocating on what went wrong with between them. Interested?
yes women are vain; same goes for men..it’s a personal choice..ie a woman who has totally flat chest and was humilated all her life for it by all those awful names calling..what’s wrong for getting a boob job to cup A or B juz to feel like a woman?
i guess this is very subjective.. like the china girl who had plastic surgery ALL over and yet everyone complimented her. they labelled her as wat artificial beauty tho.
zongtwi - Yeah, and the pattern is, two rounded shape by each side, and an elongated figure right in the middle of it.
primrose - *peek* *peek*
shan - Can’t imagine that… isn’t it ? Getting cut up like a pig just to look better.
w3s - Who is Mr.Sia ? And FYI, I carry my own balls.
howsy - These people are making up schemes to earn themselves more money lar. There’s no pre-defined proper way of having sex. Just as long as you feel good … you can do it whatever way you want.
tyra - It’s all psychological. I can make any girl feel like a woman without flipping a knife.
strawroot - They’re just sucking up to her for publicity lar. But deep inside, we guys know fake titties can’t feed no babies… and silicones are no substitute for flesh and blood.
Quote :
- your attitude (behaving like a bitch, cunt, despicable hag),
- your habits (splurging on something you don’t need, etc)
- your wisdom (squawking over the simplest of dissatisfaction, etc)
- many more
How true indeed. My ex had supermodel looks, but she was voted Bitch Numero Uno by all of my frens.
Didn’t you notice most of these ppl who did boob jobs are Americans? Not to ejek them or what, but they just don’t really THINK before they do these kinda things. There’s this show in MTV which shows ppl getting plastic surgeries just to look like their idol. Come on, need or not la~~!
Hahahah… Great post! I absolutely agree with what you’re saying here. What’s up with boob enhancement? For me, it’s always originals everytime. Small originals are still better than big fakes… anytime.
I hear ya’, Iceberg!!
No lie, I swear! Last I heard, there’s some guys Stateside who don’t want to go through the hassle of working out, to get nice asses.
Yes, guys!
The claim is that women eye up guys and check out their asses too.
A quick Google of ‘buttock, implants, silicone,’ gets up some really disturbing results….
Keep it real. This applies BOTH to guys and girls.
jdream - Well, experience makes us wiser, don’t they?
suen - It has infected us Asians as well…
iceberg/insomniac - I wouldn’t mind BIG originals…
plink - I’ve seen a middle aged guy got his eyebrow fucking tattoo-ed !!! He has scarce eyebrows and he wants to look like Ti-Lung !!!
Mr. Sia = Kenny Sia, the guy whom claimed to have balls with the size of coconuts.
No worries, dude. I carry my own balls too.