‘which tree are you ?’
I’m sure a lot of you guys have received those horoscope craps in your mailbox before. You know, by matching your birthdate to some supposedly intelligent chart/table, you’ll be able to find out more about yourself by reading a litany of garbage penned by some self proclaimed astrologer. Like you can’t figure it out yourself.
And you may also realize that over the cyber years, there has been quite a number of variations of this horoscope shit circulating around the internet. Instead of getting like 12 fixed personalities just by studying the star positions, they’re now chipping in more factors like one’s sleeping position, the way you shit, the colour you like etc etc.
A few days ago, I received one with the title ‘which tree are you ?’. You know, like if you happen to be born as a tree, what type of tree you’re gonna be ? No shit. I don’t even know that I was born related to a fucking tree which purpotedly be able to manifest what type of person I really am…
Curiosity struck and I opened the files… and found that I’m supposed to be - a “Weeping Willow Tree (The Melancholy)”
Melancholy, hmmpfff. Here’s what my birthday tree describes about me : I’m a human with 5 senses and sometimes more.
Kidding, but the real thing isn’t much less cornier than that. Here’s the real stuff :
“Likes to be stress free, full of hopes and dreams, attractive, very empathetic, loves anything beautiful, musically inclined, loves to travel to exotic places, restless, capricious, honest, can be influenced but is not easy to live with when pressured, sometimes demanding, good intuition, suffers in love when they find that one loyal, steadfast partner, loves to make others laugh”
And I presume if I were to be related to a banana tree, I’d be a sex machine with 365 rotating dicks prearrange in combs … with 1 big red ball ? Well … at least that makes a wee bit of relevance to the subject tree… But those so called revelations of who I am (above) failed to cohere with a fucking willow tree as a whole… and I reckoned that it’s because that those are nothing but a bunch of bullcraps - yes that’s what it is…
If you believed these divination/astrology shits, you won’t be anything that resembled a tree … but a fucking stump.
michael, u and ur fkg tree and ur fkg……whtever
i like ur blog tho.
i used to hv a blog too but didnt update. i didnt really ‘put’ it up to my friends to read mainly bc i tot it was loaded with much negativitism and melancholy.
secondly, my english isnt really tht good.
thirdly, i aint got the goddamn time
fourthly, bc there are blogs tht are so shit loaded good like urs put a shame to my blog…..hahahha jk.
i hope to resume my blog someday. i love my tots. there are quite variance in them too and my outlook on my paathetic life ,mostly.
i hope u might want to drop by (if u ever give a phuck abt it anyway)
gd nit ,ashole
hahaha, ur soo fuckingly hilarious lah michael..adore u !
Those “What tree/animal/Harry Potter character are you?” things are sort of fun if you have nothing better to do. I think thye’re more popular with girls than guys *rolls eyes*. Although…what’s really disturbing is the nut cases who take them seriously.
killershik - My English isn’t good either. Just blog whatever you want, and don’t give a shit about what other people think.
izzy - Ok, show me your tits.
megabigblur - If you have nothing better to do, you can always log onto the internet and surf some porn … oh wait, that’s for the guys. Sorry.