June 28, 2005

more than a doggie

Saw something disturbing on TV a couple days ago. It was a program that showcased the uniqueness of one particular place called “Camelot Dog Daycare and Spa”. In case you’re wondering, YES … it’s a doggie spa. A fucking dog has a spa. Unfuckingbelievable.

Man, I can accept people talking, kissing or even sleeping with their dogs. But, to erect a spa to motherfucking pamper them ? This is way too much. Like, come on … a dog is an animal. It’s supposed to be the domesticated version of a freaking wolf. Know what wolves do ? They kill other cute animals like rabbits and squirrels for dinner. Savage and nasty is their nature. That’s why we rear them with limited love, so that they can fucking watch our gates !

Well, some psychotic dog lover would hoot me for this… because it’s good to be kind to animals. That they treat their own pets like a surrogate family of their own bla bla bla. Somebody tell me, if I were to have a camel or perhaps an iguana as my pet, do I goddamn send them to a friggin spa and feed them Mozart classical ? That would be fucking ridiculous.

In the program, the camera would pan in and about the establishment, showing pompously decorated room complete with aromatherapy candles with a doggy sized bathtub and a fully dedicated caretaker (which happened to be a deadpan blimp) obsequiously ‘services’ their client dogs. Among the crazy things that they did there were :

1) bathe a doggie (with expensive dog shampoos etc)
2) massage a doggie (by a stupid lowlife expressionless blimp)
3) feed a doggie (with exotic cakes and cookies)
4) entertain a doggie(with classical music)
5) comfort a doggie (set them up some fireplace and comfy dog couch)
6) groom a doggie (thorough combing, manicuring their nails)
~) many more

All the while doing that with heaps of aromatherapy candles – so that they would relax and feel content about everything around them. *shakes head in disbelief*

People, what have you done to the doggies ? Those 4 legged canines are probably thinking that us humans are crazy.
Why would them dogs need a massage for ? (they just need plenty of running and shitting)
And what makes you think that dogs enjoy classical music ? (they just need something to bite. Like your mother in law’s wig)
Then of all crazy things, to manicure their claws with nail polish ? What, that suppose to improve their sex appeal ? (just in case any of you don’t know, bitches do not need sex appeal to get laid. They just need to secrete that WD40 magic lube with their own class of aromatherapy … and get mounted on…).

The ang moh’s are fucking chee sin !

michaelooi  | what I saw  | 

25 Comments to “more than a doggie”

  1. megabigblur says:

    don’t say lah…used to work in a vet clinic in the usa and i had to give insulin injections to diabetic cats. got people out there losing legs and going blind cos of diabetes and they waste insulin on a CAT.

  2. Honey says:

    hahaha…did you know that there’s a doggy hotel as well, costs alot…its just so you can bring you pet on holiday with you as well. Pets get treated than some human beings…what is the world coming to…

  3. Primrose says:

    hur..hur.. *guilty look* Uhmm, actually my toy poodle gets pampering from me/us too wor.

    Must bathe (if not, schmelly schmelly).
    Must feed (with dog treats, normally doggie sweets and doggie bacon if he good boy).
    Must groom (to look like a poodle at all times. RM80, you know).
    Must wear dog-tee (my doggie has a jersey with Liverpool logo and a yellow-green jersey with Ronaldo written on it). Ahaks!

  4. bugz says:

    wow..such a nice treatment for a DOG?! If u r treating ur dog ‘normally’, its OK la.. Dog needs bath, food, groom but not till that kind of treatment,k? Really wonder wheter their treatment cost will be higher than human spa?!

  5. crn says:


    hmm ,who to blame leh? blame u not one of the homia dog lo .Their family have extra money to spent ma, very headache sometimes when u have too much money and beside doing charity, u dont know wat to do with them. in hokkien ah ” the dog gau keng pak toh lai chu si “.(pandai pilih perut pi lahir)

    Maybe next time pple will consider being a dog or a pet for those kaya pple but the syarat u must listen to what they say..

    nowaday got alot these kind of pple. listen , follow, cannot make decision! and cannot even know which one is good and which 1 is bad,they like have no brain and cannot think or afraid to think i don’t know.But conclusion, they are just like a pet and not more like human being.

    Must change, must change , must change!!


  6. michaelooi says:

    honey – I wonder what next… doggie mall ? So that they can buy merchandise by exchanging sex ?

    primrose – You don’t happen to send your doggie to a spa for a traditional massage, do you ?

    megabigblur – Serious !? Man, I hope they don’t chemo their dogs as well…

    bugz – It sure will costs a bomb. Refer to Primrose’s comment above.

    crn – If praying really helps, then let me pray hard here … that I’ll get rich by just lying on the couch for 30 minutes a day… If it works, I’ll let you guys know.

  7. zbjernak says:

    westerners tend to treat their dogs and cats as part of their family….

    because they dont live with their REAL family… they are lonely hence they have pets…
    that is why pets = family….

    family go spa, pets go spa too

    but tht also because they have too much money to spend…. nothing better to do with their money

    come to think about it…. if the spa money for dogs being given to aceh or sri lanka people… how good hoh??

  8. crn says:

    Make sure u really try,keep praying and wait lo…
    But takkan u want to end ur life doingnothing but just waiting pple to feed u? dont u think now ur life more challenging and more chikek meh? up and down… Think positive abit ya.

  9. Niresh says:

    Sigh. I just hope the day won’t come when we have to sit side by side with dogs in restaurants to eat, or maybe queue with them for some shits. Damn, I’m neva goinna queue behind a dog. *kicks*
    Damn I hate dogs.. and yeah.. cats too. *sneeze*

  10. ShaolinTiger says:

    Eh leh cina babi also siao ok, spend RM20,000 on one fish to keep in a puddle in the garden :P

  11. Primrose says:

    ShaolinTiger: *LOL* Agree, agree! Some koi ponds…! Hummphh!

  12. fat404 says:

    I pay credit to the spa owner, for the idea. He’s the smartass in all these spa thing. The idiots? The one that goes there. That’s why the people who-knows-how-to-leech-money-by-using-the-ideas-that-idiots-like rules!

    Here’s another example of a guy who treatens to kill his rabbit if the people don’t donate/pay him 50,000 USD into his paypal account. June 30th 2005 is the deadline. He has already collected 28,372.15 USD.


  13. fish fish says:

    Mike, Yapunis also siao enough the way they spend money on dogs. I’m a dog’s lover, but I have my limit. My friend spent RM180 for her puppy’s a hair cut. (Yet, that is counted a mild case). I saw in TV those severe cases… including all the puppy goods were only from Louise Vuitton brand. *shudder*

  14. michaelooi says:

    zb – I’d say to donate the money to me. I needed to buy a dSLR very badly… and I’m broke. I accept cash.

    crn – People to feed me ? Where ? Where ?

    niresh – Yeah, one day, you’ll never know if a dog might be the one processing your passport or or or … sitting right next to you trimming it’s whiskers/fur/pubic hair…

    ST – I only eat fish. Are you indirectly hinting your buddy KY (of kyspeaks.blogspot) ? He seems to be busy digging a pond … tee hee …

    primrose – Ok ok… poodle rawks… happy ?

    fat404(ken) – I’ll say the spa owner is the biggest idiot. To coax his fellow countrymen to do stupid things like manicuring their dogs. In the end, it’s us human that loses … the dog wins.

    fish fish – RM 180 for a dog haircut ?? That’s insane !! That amount of money can get me 18 haircuts in the span of 6 years !!

  15. Cyrene says:

    yea. its just so not fair. they’re living better lives than humans

  16. Zer0 says:

    Everyone’s mad these days. Siao. Heck, i dun even pamper myself til that extent

  17. vincent says:

    We buy health insur@nce in case we get sick and get massive med!cal bills. Here in the UK, people buy pet insur@nce for the same reason. Awesome, I would say…

    haha..apparently my comment had ‘questionable content’….

  18. Raksha says:

    Hahaha! Okay, I knew about doggie salons…and I HEARD about doggie hotels lar..next we’ll probably be seeing ‘doggie bars’ or ‘doggie clubs’ where those doggies can socialize and find desirable humping mates…

  19. vandice says:

    eh mike ah… japanese even more chee sin… they do it to the cows too…feed them beer, massage them… the best grain and god knows what… pipe in classical music… make sure they exercise just enough… they have better life than a household pet… to what end??? make kobe beef lah!

  20. m@ri says:

    Humans are going nuts nowadays, that’s all I can say. I only log on to 2 sites without fail everytime I am online. First and foremost I log on to http://www.thehungersite.com and click for free bowl of food. In the afternoon, I log onto michaelooi.net for some sanity in this world ;)

  21. hoyoyi says:

    in japan, pets went for beach sand steam!

  22. michaelooi says:

    cyrene – Precisely.

    Zero – Same here lah.

    vincent – Yeah, the word “insuranse” is blacklisted due to spam. Hehehh..

    raksha – Doggie bank. They donate sperm in exchange of a doggie biscuit…

    vandice – Oooo… kobe beef. I heard it’s good. gotta try someday…

    m@ri – Awwww…that’s sweet. This is the first time I’ve heard someone regard my blog as “sane”. I certainly hope that you’re a hot chick…

    hoyoyi – It seems that the Japanese are the craziest bunch. They’ve been mentioned like 3 times here. o_O

  23. chris says:

    what next?? a certified AIDS free(do dogs get AIDS) brothel with the vast selection of nice poodles of all breeds, pedigree too….also available on hourly basis for WALKS-around-the-park, condoms provided….

  24. insomniac says:

    Cultural differences.

    Mat Salleh pamper dogs. Chinese eat dogs. And, each view the other as crazy!

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