June 21, 2005

close call

Man, I almost got into an accident today. I was driving on a perfectly straight road when suddenly, my colleague Wilson gave out a loud cry “OH MY FUCKING GOD WE’RE GONNA DIEEE !!!” (something like that). When I quickly turned my head towards his direction (passenger seat) at that split second, sure enough, I acknowledged his hysteria. Yes, we’re fucking gonna die.

Not because I saw a speeding car heading towards my direction but, a big picture of me getting death sentence for snapping that motherfucker’s neck for wrecking my precious Lorraine. But my reflex was good, you know, I actually subconsciously floored the accelerator and made a fishtail maneuver that pretty much averted collision by just an inch or so …

Everyone inside my car was basically petrified by the fact we had a close call of … whatever. It appeared that the vehicle that almost hit us, didn’t actually stop at the STOP-LOOK-GO junction and sped right through it.

Pissed, I quickly meandered through the maze of smaller lanes to catch up with that abominable reckless driver … in full hope of pulling right beside it close enough for me to fling my steering lock at his/her windscreen … or at least show the driver a big finger.

I did better than that. I actually managed to pull right in front of that car and checked it out through my rear view mirror. Guess what I saw behind that steering ?


Hell, can you imagine what could have happened if the collision were to actually take place ? Sure enough, Lorraine would have been wrecked pretty bad. But what about that kid ? The kid’s gonna crash through the windscreen like a rag doll, splatter his brain all over my car and getting himself wasted just because his retarded mother didn’t know how to fucking stop at a STOP-LOOK-GO junction.

And this lady was supposed to be somebody’s parent. Can you actually believe that ? That damn bitch ought to have her clit amputated off with a blunt ice-cream scoop. FUCK !

You bunch of spastic housewives out there… listen, if you want to operate a vehicle with your kid in it, make sure that little monster is strapped safely onto the child safety seat. And comply the traffic rules, cunts…

*I did nothing to that housewife in the end. That’s because I do not want to set a bad example to that housewife’s kid.

michaelooi  | traffic shit  | 

20 Comments to “close call”

  1. viewtru says:

    I saw a guy driving with his toddler on his lap. If he brakes suddenly or knock into something, he’s gonna crush his kid against the steering wheel. Even with a seat belt on. That really pissed me off.

  2. dannyFoo says:

    And so now we know where youngsters actually learn the skills of realy driving. Sigh..and they say younguns are even more dangerous on the roads.

  3. mikki says:

    Oh my,aren’t u glad u’re alright! In U.S parents can actually be prosecuted if a child is not buckled to their seat when operating a vehicle.
    Anyway,thank goodness u’re fine.

  4. suanie says:

    Once on the NS highway I saw some guy with his baby on his lap at the wheel of his Perdana, letting the baby ‘drive’. They were going around 50kph on the ‘slow’ lane, BUT STILL!!!!

    People often have kids when they shouldn’t have.

  5. michaelooi says:

    viewtru / suanie – Could it be that both of you have actually seen the same person ?

    dannyFoo – Yep, they’re dangerous. Especially those teenager college students. But they’re of a different league. Their problems are usually speeding and breaking traffic laws. As for old people & housewives, they’re void of basic reactions … like forgotten how to brake or driving off a cliff for no apparent reason… *shrugs*. Just, stay away from them.

    mikki – You bet. In US, parents get prosecuted for EVERYTHING. Kicking their child’s asses, feeding them with stale food, you name it.

  6. Kevin says:

    Yah damn those housewife… What would be more dangerous then housewife on the road.

  7. Jaime says:

    what do you know – when i was a kid, my father put me in the wheels as well. Not when the car is moving of course (phew!!), but at the parking lot while waiting for mom. It felt nice then, to hold something so big and to be in control. That’s why I love driving – but last i remembered, michael drives like a gangster too!!! ;)

  8. h.liew says:

    I’m not going to get married and I am not going to get babies because I dun want my clit to be amputated.

    And I’ll wait and see how Big Mike is going to drive with a Little Mike in his car…

  9. m@ri says:

    I will not defend the housewives, honestly most housewives are just incapable except to be in the house. My experience is with my mom when I was 5-6 years old. My mom got her license for 3 months (honestly I don’t know how she passed) and yet she is petrified to drive on the road. Eventually my dad persuaded her to drive in my kampung in SP. Guess what! She drove all of us into the paddi field with my brother & I ;p Imagine us kids screaming in the car when the water start to fill in the car hehehee! Nightmare!

  10. michaelooi says:

    kevin – A drunken housewife ? LOL

    jaime – I take it as you’re just jealous of me driving a very fast car. -_-”

    hliew – Strap that little monster on his/her child safety seat, of course. I’m going to give you an ice-cream scoop for your wedding … *wink*

    m@ri – That’s why you’re so disturbed today … *hides*

  11. Primrose says:

    Don’t tell me it was an SLK (small little kancil/kenari). Brainless!

  12. Honey says:

    hahaha…good call on not wanting to set a bad example for the housewife’s kid…but you know, from the example the kid is already receiving…can’t be all the good…

  13. michaelooi says:

    primrose – You know what ? IT’S A KENARI !

    honey – And they will grow up to become demented people like those who drives a Wira with an oversized GT wing.

  14. oliviasy says:

    some aunties are a menace behind the wheels. worse still, they let their kids jump around in the car anything happens (touch wood) and the kid gets it really bad, then the aunties start wailing and pointing fingers.

  15. moo_t says:

    Housewife IS dangerous.

    – They ignore the rear-mirror before cutting in a lane.
    – They love to hog the road and drive 20km/h below the speed limit. (e.g. where in highway the speed limit is 80km/h, they will drive 60km/h)
    – They love to break for no apparent reason
    – They prefer to step on break than decelerate
    – They love to drive car with high center of gravity, e.g. a MPV, kenari, kancil

  16. belacans says:

    my goodness! a disaster waiting to happen. i bet that housewife didn’t learn her lesson.

  17. vincent says:

    My neighbour drives a Mercedes which has an armrest between the two front seats, just behind the gear controls. He used to let his kid sit on the armrest…like riding on a damn horse.

  18. GAMBs says:

    iv jes link u up regarding the road driving issue, this is the 1st time i actually plugged some1’s link in my page…i dont know how it goes..jes to let you know thanx =)

  19. michaelooi says:

    oliviasy – And at some instances, the aunties jump with the kids. Fuck ups.

    moo_t – Sometimes, they would allow dogs (instead of kids) jumping inside their vehicle…

    belacan – Don’t know dude. Perhaps her time isn’t up yet.

    vincent – Mercedes owners are all fucking stupid people. No pun intended.

    GAMB – Thanks. Perhaps you could leave your link next time… so that everyone can check if you’re actually doing it right…

  20. insomniac says:

    One thing I’ve noticed about women drivers is most of them have “tunnel vision”; they look straight ahead and nowhere else. They sit in a very rigid, upright position, very close to the steering wheel. They do not check/look into the rear-view mirror, side mirrors, or look left and
    right for traffic and other vehicles.

    And, they do all these while attempting manoeuvres like switching lanes, overtaking, merging into traffic…etc.

The commenting function has been closed.