tragic
A couple weeks ago, Jude came into my lab to collect something. But when she came in, I almost had an epileptic fit from the fetid stench that she brought with her. The malodor agent surrounding her body was so strong, that it exudes a tsunami of deadly radioactive wave across my lab. I’m very sure if one were to fire up a Geiger counter around her, it will return an erratic read and possibly even render that thing defective. No shit.
I then did what a fully sane human would do in their most natural reflex - I bounced a few hundred feet off her, pretending that I’m busy or something. But the effort was futile, as she would relentlessly tag after me around the lab asking heaps of questions and it was such a difficult situation for me. I know I could have actually yelled at her for smelling like a cockroach and flicked her off without giving a damn, but I have my professionalism to protect here. I can’t simply behave like that… it is not ethical.
So, I had no choice but to hold my breath when I talked to her. You can imagine the situation was like this - me talking for approximately a full sentence, stop and right before the next, I’ll have to pretend stooping down sideways to pick up a piece of garbage paper - inhaling an ample amount of oxygen in the process… before I hold my breath for the conversation again.
It went on like this for approximately 5 eternal minutes, before she finally got content and left me be. If she had lingered any longer, I probably would’ve been a dead by now. (I’m suffering a major brain damage right now … I can’t seem to get myself off to wash my dinner plates … hmmpff)
Seriously, I do not understand what is wrong with the people nowadays… Like I’ve lamented for so many times in the past, do these people with such extreme case of BO actually know how they smelled like ?
Man, those scientist should stop wasting their time analyzing archeological mummies. Instead, I think they should spend more time researching for a permanent fix that could eliminate BO naturally. Like a vaccine or something … you know, injected into infants to instigate an antibody of sorts… and rid the world of odoriferous people.
But in the meanwhile, I’m gonna have to wire up plenty of boobie-traps around my lab just in case she feels like visiting again.
Ugh. Shd just spray-paint the skunk with Lysol Super Strong AntiBacterial.
On 2nd though, empty the whole can at her oso not enuff. She needs to bathe in liquid bath full of Clorox Super Strength + Dettol Antiseptic. Her skin might melt off but who the hell cares!
:p
J
I was thinking of dousing her with some highly flammable fuel and light her up or something. Then, isolate her 30 km under the Earth’s crust in a completely concrete shielded space…
i am not sure on those people…
some might know but cant do anything much cause this is as we said body….nothing much can be done.
but as on myself…i will smell myself…try to make sure that i smell ok…though sometime… when sweating and etc…cant do much except to wait for goin back time…
Run. Just run.
Had several of the same occasions myself. I talk like I’m not interested to talk to them or I’m not free at the moment.
BTW, bad breath is bad too, yuck! Imagine someone talking to you right in the face and you have to suck in their smelly breath and you had to breath in!
Just gave her some deodarant product as birthday gift. The undiplomat way is to give her Fabreze
zbjernak: When you smell yourself, you can’t smell it. Maybe pay someone to smell you
It is really hard to breathe. Like sometimes I passed through some China students here, they seems to be taking bath very seldom and so they stinks badly. Can’t hold it once when one enters my air-condition and fresh hostel room, he kills the environment straight. Either his body smell or his feet smell stinks like hell. Its like the smell of 100 years worn socks without washing. And imagine in air-con room, once a smell went in, it is hard to get off.