I frantically waded my way into the office toilet, took my stance in front of an urinal, whipped out my schlong and drained it like a Formula 1 fuel pump. That was so because that bag of urine had been held back in my bladder for some time already, thanks to my extremely lazy habit of delaying my trip to convenient myself.

Alright, I kinda had to offset myself some distance off the urinal (about 2 ft) due to following reasons:

1) some part of my organ is too great in length that pretty much limited my room there…
2) the pressure from my bloated bladder causes the urine to jet out in such force that it causes an ammonia drizzle that might wet my pants (imagine Niagara Falls)

It was all done in such a haste that I was unaware that the toilet was actually full house at that particular moment. Totally oblivious about the mass of pisser in there, I let out a big heave of relieving sigh to complement the climax of emptying my bladder (I’m very sure you guys know what I’m talking about). It was only after I opened my eyes that I realized there were approximately 8 other blokes draining their lizards right at the same time.

That’s some weird phenomenon if you were to ask me. That’s because usually, guys dislike taking up adjacent urinals next to another guy for some reason. But on that day, it was as if the management’s offering a 50% bonus incentive for any random bloke who’s lucky enough to get spotted inside the toilet by the boss.

Feeling somehow embarrassed about my lack of toilet manners (that thou shalt not make any weird noise inside the toilet), I turned my head to look around to inspect the degree of reputation damage that I had sustained. It was all cool until I turned my head to my south-west direction … when I saw my department head – AcheAss – right behind me; standing in a slanting direction to shoot at the urinal. (he has a short dick)

It appeared that he had too little space to work on his urinal because I was standing too far back from mine … and he had to slant his position to pee. It’s really hard to explain … but, here’s some graphical illustration to aid your understanding …

He kinda stood too near where I was, that it made me worried about him straying off his urinal and wet my pants. Should that ever happen, I’d probably gush my piss on his face since it was not really a hard thing to do (for him being so short and me being so, physically adequate.).

And I kept wondering, what a jerk he was. Like, he could have waited for everyone to evacuate the toilet first… or at least politely ask me to give him some room… you know… like being courteous or shits like that. I could have tried to be benevolent by giving him a little bit of space, but I chose not to. Instead, I turned to him and said “Damn, this toilet is too small and crowded, isn’t it ?”.

That’s some message with veiled sarcasm… but he was too shallow to comprehend that …and just responded with a menial nod coupled with a smile.

Told ya, potatoes are better.