It seems like a fad nowadays to have awards for virtually everything in our lives - movies, music, places, community services, best looking pets, you name it. And recently, the craze seemed to have infected the blogosphere as well. Suddenly, everyone’s so hyped about it … like it’s a “yeah” thing to have.

Not wanting to miss out the fun, I decided to give out my own version of awards too. Here’s the list of them (randomly).

The Itchiest Body Part Award
Our itchy back. It never ceases to amaze me, why our back’s always readily itchy when we scratch them. It doesn’t matter when you do it, once you scratch it, you’ll long for more. And it feel so fucking good scratching your back. Some would vote for balls but… our balls aren’t always itchy (especially when it’s hard and corrugated like that)

The Weirdest Human Anatomy Award
No doubt our bollocks. It’s ever changing shape, texture and condition… is unlike any other human parts I have ever seen. Eg: When it feels cold, it will look like a dehydrated prune. But when it feels hot, it will turn soft and sags like a teabag. Simply awesome.

The Most Mysterious Phenomenon Award
The urge to crash/sleep after sex. I do not know what’s the logic behind it. I mean, even if we ran a whole field’s worth of soccer game, you won’t feel the kind of fatigue that we guys suffer after a satisfying round of sex. It felt as if you’ve just came out from steaming inside a sauna for a few days…

The Best Fruit Award
Durian. It’s definitely the most badass fruit in the universe. It tastes like you’re on your way to heaven and it makes you forget all your worries when you’re whacking it. What makes it even more awesome is the post digestion period - the nasty gas from your belches and farts could render paralysis to a full grown skunk.

The Motherfuckest Road user Award
It has to be the motorcyclists. No shit about that. They would fucking ride on the middle of the road, shove into your lane without warning, chat with each other riding their bike side by side, snatch thieving, participate in illegal racing, you name it. Like, who doesn’t hate motorcyclists ? They truly deserve this award.

The Best Tasting Animal Award
I had a hard time to decide between dog and snake. But after much deliberations, I finally decided that dog tastes better than snakes. It tasted very much like a cross between beef & pig trotters, but with a much firmer texture and uplifting aroma. (it’s dark layer of fat are pretty nasty though).

Best Horror Movie Award
The original “Evil Dead” by Sam Raimi. Though it’s graphics may look pretty lame in today’s world, but it has the element of scare that no other horror movies have. I must have watched this movie for more than a hundred times…

Best Comedy Award
“Baseketball”. Watched it on some VCD that I borrowed from a friend. The only movie that made me laughed till I almost black out. Starred by the dudes that invented South Park. Forgotten most of the story. Still looking for the DVD.

Best Action Movie Award
The most badass and violent action movie of them all, has to be “Saving Private Ryan”. The movie shares a generous amount of violence and the gores are so unbelievably real. This movie has since been my benchmark for all action-based movies and to date, has yet to meet it’s match. Simply awesome.

That’s all I can think of. I’ll give more awards when I feel like doing it…