June 1, 2005

freak

I have a colleague called Elliot. He seemed to be a nice guy when I first met him… but after a few months’ worth of acquaintance, I started to discover that there are something not very right about him. I tried to convince myself that he’s not a contemptible fuck but, the facts don’t seem to conform that at all…

1) He drives a rickety old car that has a broken stereo system. Probably this shouldn’t be a serious matter if one isn’t into music. But Elliot, he likes music. Instead of sending his stereo for repair, he actually bought a battery operated radio and play it inside his car.
Optimistic opinion : Maybe he’s trying to be prudent in spending, to save himself some money to feed his neighbor’s cat or something. He’s a nice person
Pessimistic opinion : He’s a goddamn freak

2) He loves to chat. Usually about inane stuffs (like how he dislikes the feeling of being in a traffic jam) and then would laugh out hysterically by himself, even though nobody finds his remarks funny. Sometimes, it really freaks me out since he’s very near where I am…
Optimistic opinion : Perhaps he’s keen to socialize with everyone in the most jovial way. He’s a nice person
Pessimistic opinion : He’s a goddamn freak

3) Because he’s very tall, I reckon that it takes a longer time for the blood pumped from his heart to reach his brain. Each time I asks him something, he’ll need to pause for a moment and stares at me coldly before answering something unintelligible. It makes me feel like talking to a Yeti.
Optimistic opinion : He’s just trying to be very careful about deciphering one’s message. He’s a very conscientious person
Pessimistic opinion : He’s a goddamn freak

4) He has this uncanny preference of whistling some really tacky Chinese songs (eg. some mandarin persian cat song) inside the office. It’s very annoying especially during the time when I need to crank my head to work out something. I feel like crashing a chair on his head.
Optimistic opinion : He’s trying to loosen up the tension inside the office environment. He cares for his fellow colleagues.
Pessimistic opinion : He’s a goddamn freak

5) He once inadvertently brushed his old rickety junk’s bumper over another parked vehicle’s door and actually induced a big dent on it. While the rest of us went lividly pale about the bummer, he just let out a smile and shifted his car to park somewhere else.
Optimistic opinion : He’s just being an optimist himself. It’s a good thing.
Pessimistic opinion : He’s an abominable freak

6) I once saw a very rotten piece of thoroughly eaten apple inside his rickety old car. It must have been left inside there for weeks. When being confronted about the find, he said that he forgot to discard that fruit many weeks ago, wound down his window and threw it out from his car onto the tarmac.
Optimistic opinion : He conserves the nature by bringing himself closer to decomposition of organic matters.
Pessimistic opinion : He’s a fucking disgusting goddamn freak

7) He makes me want to keel over each time he’s near. That’s because he’s got this really repugnant body odor.
Optimistic opinion : He probably doesn’t want to flush too much chemicals into our ocean and abstains himself from using deodorants/anti-perspiration sticks. He’s an environmentally friendly guy.
Pessimistic opinion : He’s a goddamn freak that stinks

8) He bought a camcorder recorded VCD of “Star Wars III : Revenge of the Sith” and said that the movie’s about some lunatic dude wielding weird looking swords… and the movie’s boring.
Optimistic opinion : None.
Pessimistic opinion : HE’S A GODDAMN FREAK

Arrrgh !

michaelooi  | characters  | 

11 Comments to “freak”

  1. Kancil Killer says:

    LOL… He is a freak alright!

    anyone who bought Kelapa version VCD is god damn freak to me. I rather not watch

  2. ken says:

    Repeat! After! Me!
    He’s a goddamn FREAK! XD

  3. Willwolf says:

    Aiyoh, why u guys all like that wan? He’s not a freak la.

    1. Old car, broken stereo. Why need to fix it and let a bloody drug addict to break into his car and steal it? He’s not a freak.

    2. Love to chat is not a sin la. Some people is like that. Talk talk talk. Try old senile folks. Same thing. Not a freak.

    3. Tall, and slow thinking only. Blame it on genetic. Not a freak.

    4. Whistling tacky Chinese song only. At least he didn’t join Malaysian Idol. Not a freak.

    5. Brushed someone’s car with his old car? Not a freak until he dents MY car, then I’ll teach him how to be a freak!

    6. Rotten apple … ? OMG, still got this type of people meh?

    7. Stinko? Smells like a freak.

    8. ROTS boring? At least it’s better than watching the freak wielding his short light saber in his pants.

    Erm, did I call him a freak. Damn!!

  4. minishorts says:

    elliot rhymes with ‘idiot’ hhehe

    and btw, i have just passed you a silly baton. now pass it on.

  5. junioruser says:

    Your post reminds me of a college mate a few years back. Share similar qualities with your friend, not sure whether is the same person or not. He’s tall, had a really serious body odour and took a few minutes to answer a simple question. The difference between him and your friend is he looves to talk about priests, gods and ghosts.Damn. Frigging freak!

  6. Reta says:

    He’s not a freak la..poor thing..

    But, I must agree with you that having BAD B.O. is a turnoff and ROTS is quite nice what..

  7. zbjernak says:

    may be he is trying to get attention?
    may be he is trying to impress you?
    may be he want you to blog about him?

    sometime these weird weird people really add more colours to your life….

  8. Primrose says:

    Hmm, battery operated radio, eh? Why didn’t I think of that (I drive a not-so-rickety old car with radio stolen for 3 years now)? Isk! Won’t want to join the freak club, that’s why.

  9. Alvin says:

    Man… if that isn’t a freak, I don’t lnow what is!!!! I won’t be having any optimistic opinion of him at all, I would classify him as a freak from day 1!

  10. michaelooi says:

    I think he’s a freak. If he’s not, then everyone else is …

  11. ck says:

    this is elliot. you break my heart mike.

The commenting function has been closed.