May 23, 2005

kids are evil

I was munching a pack of nuts watching some ultraman show on TV when I was approached by my nephew. I never actually knew how old he is… but from what I reckoned, he must be about 4 – 5 years old (this is the elder brother of the kid who flashed me his underwear..). He just stood there quietly, all that while watching me pop those nuts into my mouth, totally ignoring him.

Of course I knew he wanted to have some of my nuts (lots of girls wanted them too)… but I figured that the kid ought to learn some amenities when it comes to asking something from someone. A concept of cause and effect. Like if he were to yell out loud demanding some nuts, he won’t get nuts. He would probably get whaled on his ass instead. Something like that …

So I continued to do what I was doing, totally ignoring him. After standing for about 20 seconds without progress, he finally decided to stretch out his palm as a gesticulation to ask for the nuts. Well, what more courtesy could I ask from a kid … I thought … so out of compassion, I put one little nut on his palm and gave him an “I’m nice” smile… which he hoovered it almost as immediately.

I then went back to my business of immersing myself in my childhood fantasy on TV … but at the corner of my eyes, I could see my nephew still standing there apparently with his palm still stretched out – totally distorting my concentration on the show. “More nuts” – he telepathically hinted me … and I placed another nut onto his palm to keep him content.

The process would repeat … you know… him asking for more and more nuts until the packet depleted to less than half the content, which I had to actually dig from the tight packet to feed that pre-kindergarten glutton. At one stage, his patience wore off and offered to save my troubles by digging the nuts himself.

Ok, being independent is good – I thought… and continued to share my nuts with him, which we alternately dug from the packet for about 5 – 6 cycles until there was only a quarter of them left. That was the time when it was getting really difficult for my relatively large hands to reach the bottom of the packet… and decided to tear the opening up for my convenience. But before I could do that, my nephew grabbed the entire packet and gave me an ‘assurance nod’ that he could do it FOR ME … which he had no trouble digging the content with his small hands.

But that was so stupid of me to let him grab that packet of nuts. Obviously, that guy knew no shit about keeping a promise … especially when it comes to leeching food from adults. I wasn’t expecting anything else but hope that there were still some nuts left when I snatched that packet back after pinning him down like those grunts in wrestlemania… But that small fragment of hope dashed utterly when his younger brother (yes, that underwear guy) appeared out of nowhere to join the pillage.

What happened next was totally indescribable. Let’s just say, they kinda mauled the whole packet like savage beasts and left the half torn wrapper on the floor … and resume back their usual activities (ie to mess the whole place up and squeal annoyingly…)

I was, in the end, left nutless to go with the TV show. Goddamn.

Kids nowadays are evil and parasitic in nature… hell, I can’t even eat some nuts in peace ! What can I hope of them when I’m old ??? Nothing… cheebye…. NOTHING.

michaelooi  | experiences  | 

18 Comments to “kids are evil”

  1. phangan says:

    kids nowadays are evil… eheheheh

  2. Din says:

    when ur old, you can go and annoy them by stretching out your palm quietly to them when they are in their late twenties munching their nuts while watching some ultraman show on tv.

  3. Joez says:

    Goodness!! Even kids wanna grab yr nuts :P

  4. iblogme says:

    Never thought that it took only 2 kids to leave you nutless.

    But the whole thing appears cute from another perspective…haha.

  5. Make them watch Oliver Twist. Then throw them out on the street. Ingrates.

  6. Primrose says:

    LOL. Hor ghee na buli ah? I thought unc mike ain’t gonne offer them no nuts! But he did (offer his 2 nuts worth). Hmm, unc mike ain’t that evil afterall. :)

  7. shanks says:

    i like that bit about the assurance nod.

  8. michaelooi says:

    phangan – I know…

    din – When I’m old, nuts would probably be too hard for me already. I might fancy some other type of food like sucking clams…

    joez – Those nuts are nice. Everyone wants it.

    iblogme – When you have more than 2 kids, you’ll probably worry about your life instead…

    macek – I’ll say show them Fear Factor of them people eating insects and slugs. Then make them do the same too…

    primrose – I’m a nice person and you know it !

    shanks – I don’t like every bit of it. I mean, what makes them any different than those apes in Penang botanical garden ? NONE AT ALL !

  9. Suen says:

    Shouldn’t have made the first move, you should defend your stand~! Now remember that sharing is not nessarily caring :P

  10. moo says:

    heehehee….I know there is hidden agenda behind the story : monkey see, monkey do. There is always a big monkey behind all this evil act.

  11. Alphonso says:

    If you want to pin him down like those grunts in wrestlemania, just transfer him a low blow. It works.

  12. cyingz says:

    yea i AGREE!! some kids are just 100% plain evil. i think that their parents should teach them how to behave well in the public especially when they are in the cinema/food court/shopping mall..etc. why cant they just control their children???!!!control them from shouting,chasing each other in the mall..wth! sometimes i just wan to strangle them..

  13. oliviasy says:

    the good people always end up losing, hor? nxt time grab their nuts.

  14. h.liew says:

    Hyperactive kids are called energetic. Scheming kids are called smart. Loud kids are called speakers. Crying kids are our future tenors. Kids rule the world these days.

  15. michaelooi says:

    suen – I learnt my lesson.

    moo – Errr.. I don’t really get what you’re trying to say here.

    alphonso – The word “blow” can get us guys into trouble if it were to be used in the wrong circumstances … heheh.

    cyingz – Yeah, kids and cinemas are always a bad combination. Perhaps it’s an idea to set up a temporary care center beside a cinema.

    olivia – You do that all the time ? I never knew you’re that humsup…

    hliew – And kids that feed on their mother’s breast would be a great pornstar ? Come on …

  16. doc says:

    You should have established ownership to your own nuts. “Hart… Chee!!!” into the bag and see if they still dare to eat your nuts. :-/

  17. ah pink says:

    Aw Michael, you disappoint me. I would expect you to save the nuts all to yourself. No pleases, no thankyous, no nuts.

  18. Me says:

    Kids are evil. Instead of giving the brat some nuts you should have told it to eat it’s snot instaed, they seem to like that bettr anyway. Better yet, kid their butt when no one is looking….hehehe >:)

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