May 21, 2005

when i’m old

There you go again, my grandpa. I brought him dinner last night and again, he looked at me like I was some stray thug that came to steal his mangoes. I had to explain to him that I’m one of his daughter’s son and that I brought him his dinner – which only prevailed after a few tugs at his fossil brain cells.

Having gone through that lengthy introductory procedure, he then lamented about his old age problems as usual. You know, being old and having a failing memory, those self loathing type of shits. As I’ve already inured to his long winded ways, I would just nod in acknowledgment (in order not to provoke him to advance to his ‘historical lessons’ again – which I’ve already heard a few quadrillions of times).

But it’s of no good. He eventually did it nevertheless … reliving his heroic days in acute details, like how much money he paid for certain things 40 years ago (ironically, I can’t even remember exactly how much money I paid for my dining table 2 years ago… I think I’m worse than my grandpa) and many other tough shits that he had endured.

We (me and Emily) sat through the whole session of it… with myself kept thinking, would I become like this when I’m old ? Like telling my grandkids how I ruled the universe when I was young ? Would they still listen to me when they have countless of electronic wireless toys to play with ? Or since my memory’s worse than my grandpa at this relatively young age… would I still be able to remember the stories myself ?

Most likely not. 60 years from today will be very different. With all the hazardous heavy metal lingering in our air and infinite numbers of chemicals we consume from our processed food everyday, I reckon that probably I won’t be able to even remember if I had a dick (after being flaccid of old age for so many years), let alone to be able to recall my tales.

Probably that’s why this blog exists in the first place – to account all my stories, dreams and weird visions … so that I don’t have to remember all of them. I’ll just have to beam my grandkids a string of text of my URL to their email account –

“michaelooi.net – your grandfather’s stories inside. forward it to the next 10 people on your address book else your phone will self destruct in your pocket”

How cool is that.

michaelooi  | thoughts  | 

10 Comments to “when i’m old”

  1. thquah says:

    I guess old ppl are a little long winded, as I have met a few.Btw its good to acknowledge them.They will feel good if we are listening but in fact we aren’t.LOL

  2. surfnux says:

    hohoho it might happen in the future. Who knows. The technology changed people.

    hoho I like the idea of passing it to 10 people and if not phone will self destruct. hehee will be more scary if seld destruct within 10 seconds

  3. sunon says:

    hahah ooo lolx, a chain letter, kcik ass idea XD ahhaha

  4. lala says:

    hmmm… i wish i hav a granpa to listen to ..my granpas on both mum n dad’s sides have passed away …
    my granpa used to speak to me in cantonese but unfortunately , i dun understand a word of it …
    Cherish the old ppl in the family …

  5. Primrose says:

    Hehe! Your turn to buli lau lang ah?

  6. michaelooi says:

    thquah – I’ve been listening to him since I was a kid …

    surfnux – 60 years from now, we’ll be blogging with our voice and through video. Mark my words.

    sunon – One thing that will never change in future, advertisements and spams.

    lala – Hmmmm… I wonder 60 years from today, will my grandkids cherish me ?

    primrose – Quite contrary lah. It’s more like I’m being bullied by lau lang instead …

  7. doc says:

    Phone? It’s unlikely that your grand kids will be still using phones. With all the mutations, we will probably able to send/receive telepathic messages. You can then infuse your whole blog into their brain telepathicaly ten times a day.

    Grandpa Ooi : “Oops! You mean I’ve already sent you nine copies of my 48 terabytes blog earlier today?”

  8. Amber says:

    Lol, and you want your grandchildren to know just how you used to flush your anus after you take a shit? :P:P

  9. Jayelle says:

    hee:D that’s cute. then the chain letter can be passed on for generations. good idea!

  10. michaelooi says:

    doc – Interesting … and we’ll have no more problems watching porn in the presence of our moms/girlfriends/wives…

    amber – Why not ? XD

    Jayelle – Generations AND cross species. (as we’ll probably be able to communicate with animals by then)…

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