May 19, 2005

“Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith” (2005)

It was a nice one. No doubt, was the best of all the 3 prequels and well worth the wait.

1) Storyline – was rich. From Anakin the sissy skinny boy to Darth Vader the cool hunk. And plenty of drama in between, all cramped into 2 something hours’ worth of screen time. I would say, it was more like a purge of diarrhea – short but full of real deals. (some part of the story actually got pretty skewed because of this…). Click “More” below.

2) Characters – colorful as always. From phallic headed Jedi members to clumsy transport lizards that resembled my colleague Elliot, the flick featured realistic looking creatures along with the usual main casts. My favorite character of all would definitely be – General Grievous. The 4 arm tuberculosis laden droid leader that has a penchant of collecting lightsabers of the Jedis he killed … (and a special mention of Princess Leia – NAKED)

3) Action – This episode has the most lightsaber duels of all the Star Wars flick. So much of them, that it got kinda boring at times. I was actually expecting a balance of both space battles and lightsaber duels… just like in Empire Strikes Back… but then, I’m not complaining.
There are like 5 duels in this flick alone :

Count Dooku vs Obiwan/Anakin
Mace Windu vs Darth Sidious
Yoda vs Darth Sidious
Obiwan vs General Grievous
Obiwan vs Darth Vader

And countless of scenes that involved ‘lightsabering’ as well. Of all the duels, the one that took the cake was between Obiwan vs General Grievous. During the duel, General Grievous frigging wielded 4 lightsabers ! … 2 held by his hind arms, and the other 2 rotating with his frontal hands like propellers (at front), razing through anything in its path. It was mind-blowingly badass.

4) Humor – A serious film you think it is. Not entirely. Some humour, it has. Those that I can recall
– a drone yelling out to a fellow drone to get back to work (and some really funny conversation) during the Chancellor rescue mission.
– a couple of wookies howled like Tarzan when they charge in for an attack at one of the clone ships.
– Sidious called Yoda “my little green friend” and zapped him against the wall like a mosquito. Yoda returned the favor by toppling Darth Sidious up on his feet with his Force (which made me laughed like a jackass…)
– Yoda’s quote of “…. disappear we must” cracked me up too – he was suggesting to Obiwan and Organa that they should go into exile.
many more.

5) Flaws – There were a few parts in the movie that didn’t seem to make a lot of sense to me.
– why did Darth Sidious sacrifice General Grievous before he declared a takeover of the republic ? He could have hinted Grievous about the impending attack led by Obiwan … and saved him from getting wasted. He would then have an extra skilled team member to help him rule the galaxy. *shrugs*
– at the end of the movie, there was a scene where Darth Sidious and Vader overlooking the construction of the first DeathStar. Considering the fact that the Deathstar was completed only in Ep IV (when Luke becomes a teenager), that means it actually took them almost 2 decades to complete it. The second (and bigger) DeathStar, as we knew of, significantly took much less time than that …. the timing’s questionable.
– there weren’t that much flippings in the rest of the episodes… but in this third installment, everyone seem to be able to flip like a Hong Kong red trouser stuntman. The flippings had a heavy Asian influence in it … and it looked kinda out of place in Star Wars. Hmmmm…
– and, about Yoda. This little dude needed a cane to help him walk. But when he was in the mood to participate in lightsaber orgies, he’d be able to leap like proboscis monkeys. Isn’t that ridiculous ? At least make him lose the cane…
– R2D2, the electronic dustbin seemed to be extremely agile and ‘dangerous’ in this episode. It had thrusters, the ability to hover at low heights, could JUMP out of the ship hull by itself… and even had the ability to spurt highly flammable slick as well. What the fuck ? If it could actually do all that, then why was it so dumb when being captured by that bevy of Ewoks in “A New Hope” ?
– I noticed that the Siths always use red colored light saber… but when Anakin Skywalker joined the club, he wasn’t given a red lightsaber… but would continue to use his old blue colored lightsaber. THIS IS NOT FAIR !

But all these were small issues that can be overlooked without sweat…

So there you have it. Star Wars Episode III sealing the deal. The transition was kinda smooth and everything was nicely set into place for A New Hope. It has been such a long time since I enjoyed a movie so much…

Storyline (extended)
The story starts with a mission carried out by Obiwan & Anakin to rescue Chancellor Palpatine, who was kidnapped by the separatists. All these, was of course, orchestrated by Palpatine himself (which was Darth Sidious in disguise) to favor himself some political power.

The 2 Jedis faced Count Doofus Dooku in the rescue mission, but Dooku was of no match of Anakin. The old fart lost the battle and was executed by Anakin, with a double swipe of lighsaber decapitating his head off – which violated the Jedi code not to execute an unarmed opponent. This had sort of revealed Anakin’s weakness to Darth Sidious … who took favor of him (over his other apprentices) and pledged to entice him into the Dark force.

The story unfolded next with Padme getting knocked up and Anakin having a premonition (in dream format) that his clandestine love is gonna die in labor. The vision upset him a whole deal lot and fear slowly took over him. Darth Sidious saw to this as well and then took advantage by plying him with alcohol then started to molest his genitals… kidding. He falsely made Anakin to believe that by wielding great power in the dark force, one would have the power to even prevent death – which Anakin thought could be the answer to counter his greatest fear of losing Padme.

Coupled with his thirst for power, limited career development and a few session of credit card salesman type of brainwash from Sidious, Anakin finally embraced the Dark force as Darth Vader after rescuing Sidious from Mace Windu … by killing that Jedi nigger who was trying to arrest Sidious for being an ugly fuck.

Identity blown, Sidious took over the republican army and ordered a mass wipeout of all the Jedis. The take would then bring us to various scene of Jedis being killed in the most fouled way by sudden treason… which all of them would be laid to waste except the little green guy Yoda and Obiwan Kenobi. Both would then wriggle their way towards their own face off with Sidious and Vader respectively. The old dudes would settle their own score… and the young ones had their own.

The battle between Yoda and Sidious was kinda awesome, with lots of flippings. The little green guy sure was something. But he was no match of Sidious… and eventually fled from the battle …

Concurrently (as it seemed), Obiwan faced Darth Vader in the legendary duel near the lava loaded planet of Mustafar – where Vader made a mistake and got himself into a real mess – having both his limbs lightsabered off, fell by the flowing stream of molten lava and was left slowly burnt into a living dead lookalike.

Post the battle, Obiwan would then reunite with the remaining members and witness the birth of the Skywalker twins – which Padme named them in a couple heaves of dying breath as Luke, and Leia. (and the audience get to see Leia naked here…)

Vader, on the other hand, was picked up by Sidious and had him rebuilt into a half man/machine villain that we have always fond of… and the movie fades away after the twins were separated away into exile … Luke in Tattooine … Leia in Alderaan.

*of course there were a lot more awesome but insignificant scenes which I did not bother to list them out here…*

michaelooi  | movie reviews  | 

16 Comments to ““Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith” (2005)”

  1. suanie says:

    hehe I’m looking forward to it

  2. The show didn’t show how Darth Vader invading the Jedi Temple in details, sad. The only scene it shows is Darth Vader turned on his light sabre in front of a bunch of armless kiddos.

    R2D2 always is the greatest droid. :)

  3. whtever012 says:

    i watch the premier show for Star wars on wednesday. i found that overall the movie is good.can be categorized as the movie of the year.
    yoda is funny. but somehow, i dont like Anankin character.he suppose to be a good guy but in the end he become a traitor.
    I rate star wars with 5 stars

  4. ken says:

    No! Not the “more…”!!

    /me hypnotized.

  5. JDream says:

    Let’s just hope that George Lucas gets bored after 10 years and starts making episodes 10, 11, 12 and then prequeled by 7, 8, and 9. :P

  6. megabigblur says:

    “and a special mention of Princess Leia – NAKED”
    haha this is like when i told my mum that the Mariah Carey album my sister bought had a topless pic of Mariah.

    Did anyone else notice…i think when Dooku and Palpatine fight they tned to make a downward stabbing/digging motion…then Anakin starts doing that also when he goes over o the dark side. special Sith move?

  7. sunon says:

    YOU JUST HAD TO HAVE THE MORE SIGN… *click… omg haven’t watched ep III yet… o well… I hate those RED more links… just makes me wanna click em…. will probably watch star wars tommorow or sunday… mmmm good review though :)

  8. minishorts says:

    i am watching star wars with a lunatic who told me me he’s going to bring a light saber. tonight.

    i think i might enjoy the company more than the show itself.

    should be quite fun.

  9. michaelooi says:

    there’s this darrkkkk feeling watching this movie … it’s simply, darkkkk.

    especially the part where Vader schlepped into the Jedi temple and fired up his saber glowering at the bunch of Jedi younglings… which I wanted to emulate so badly to hint that blardy noisy 7 year old behind my seat that I’m gonna do the same to him (up his ass) if he don’t keep quiet already….

    fuck ! why do people love to bring kids to cinemas ??

  10. tim says:

    whtever012: of course lah anakin becomes a traitor.. if not how?? there won’t be a darth vader in episode 4,5 and 6.

  11. minishorts says:

    Come lemme answer you.
    – in Episode one, yoda said to Master Windu I think, ‘always two, there are. the master and his padawan.’ i think practitioners of the force can only handle having ONE disciple at the same time or it will be a ripple in the force.
    – maybe luke skywalker grew up faster than others leh? he is full of midichlorians mah. part of a twin some more, you know lah. in twins, the power doubles (in the star wars novels, when leia marries solo and has twins, the babies can make BALLS fly in their cots— urm… ok now that’s a bit obscene to hear)
    – nicer to see i guess.
    – yeah so damn agree hahahah but he’s cute woh. and he’s my favourite jedi so far.
    – *BURSTS OUT LAUGHING* You’ve hit it on the nail!
    – in episode 4 a new hope, obiwan gave luke a lightsaber tha used to belong to his father. this one is left out in the movie, i think obiwan should have taken anakin’s saber when he … massacred the poor guy (I still think he should have tossed the kid into the burning river). on board the millenium falcon, obiwan told luke that he would be learning how to build his own light saber later on… answer? anakin got his red lightsaber later on. he had to build it.

    okie. i said too much. muahahaha. see you. urm. may the force be with you.

  12. kawa says:

    Why sacrificed Grievious? He’s just a mere pawn. Just like Dooku. The more members he has, the more people would want to betray him.

    The construction of the Deathstar did not neccessarily happened right after Vader got transformed. It’s there to tie in to A New Hope.

    Why Anakin did not get a red lightsaber, he has no time to replace the crystal. Besides, he needs to lose it so that Luke gets to use it later.

    Yoda loses the cane when in lightsaber duels.

    About flippings, there were some flippings in ROTJ. I guess they were in high gear so everyone flipped alot. Hahah!

  13. michaelooi says:

    kawa – well, it happened right there that the only disciple that Sidious retain betrayed him… what a sohai. Still doesn’t buy off the need to sacrifice someone as talented as Grievous…

    As for the Deathstar … you and I know… it’s a big boner there. Period. (It will be an endless debate if we factor in speculations vs. what we saw in the movie…)

  14. Creford says:

    There were extremely excellent and the best scenes in the movie “Revenge of the Sith”.
    Good originality and great imagination, great story in this movie!
    Here’s Photo gallery for Hayden Christensen(Anakin) of this movie.
    I love Star Wars series the most!

  15. FRANK says:


  16. Yoda says:

    darth Sidious (palpatine) hates all non human creatures havent you read any star wars books did you notice most of the empirres staff was HUMAN and yoda uses the cane to lull his enemies into a false sense of security

The commenting function has been closed.