One fine afternoon a couple years ago, one of my female vendor came running to me with a livid expression …

“Michael ! Michael !” [pant pant]

A Chinese girl in her 20’s, who was the quality engineer for a high end product supplied to my company. Round faced, fair complexion, a bit plumpy which kinda reminded me of those awesome dumplings I had in China. She was restlessly panting when calling out for me … as if she had seen something awful.

“What’s the matter ? You looked as if you’ve seen a ghost !” I tried to calm dumpling her down.

“It’s …[pant] worse than seeing a ghost…[pant pant]”

It sounded so damn serious … that it actually freaked me out for a moment there…

“What’s that ??”
“It’s … the toilet…”
“What about the toilet ?”
“I went to shit inside… and … and …”
“Someone peeked at you ?”
“No… when I flushed … there’s just… shits overflowing all over the place !!”

That’s what she told me. She went on ahead to vividly describe how those shits overflowed down onto the toilet floor and how she managed to dive out of the booth … barely just in time to tuck her beaver back into her pants. A close call of death indeed.

I don’t know why I was the “chosen one” … you know, be the first to learn about it. And perhaps even some expectations from her that I probably would haul my ass into that shit-overflowing toilet to clean it up or something. How I wish to tell her that she had done a terrible mistake by telling me - because I don’t fucking know what to do !

So, I just assured her that I will escalate her misadventures to the appropriate party and be done with it. And that’s when I went to Pete, who then was the manager in charge of toilets… kidding, he’s one of the managers in our department. When I told him about my vendor’s gross encounter, almost instantly, I can see the same thing that has happened to me before - you know, him giving out the expression of “Hey ! what the fuck have I got to do with shits overflowing inside the Ladies !? I’m an engineer goddamn it !!!”. But we somehow managed to channel the complain back to our HR, who then didn’t seem to have done anything about it.

Well, what actually happened ? From my best guess, I’d say, the bowl was clogged by a used bloody pad or something. Must be one hell of a big bloody pad for a big pussy… which no doubt has been slam dunked by a lardass invertebrate that didn’t know how to discard radioactive materials in an appropriate manner. And when the pad got stuck in the shit pipe, the whole thing sort of backdrafted and deluged the toilet with stinking excrement.

And if you can ask someone who had cleaned a Ladies before, they’ll tell you stories that you wouldn’t want to hear.

According to someone I knew who works for McDonalds (who had cleaned the Ladies countless of times before), it is always a known fact that, when it comes to toilet hygiene, the females are always less conscious than the guys. It always takes a double effort to clean a Ladies… comparing to the Gents. It wasn’t made known to me why… but it’s damn compelling to learn about that fact.

So that means, what we’ve seen out here in the public (the girls, that is) - you know, all that chemical aided perfection and “ewwwwwwws” for even the slightest smut - are all sheer deception. The truth lies inside the toilet. The showdown of their actual self was smeared across the restroom wall… spread out like an ancient cave drawing as a testament of their barbaric demeanor…

Well, I don’t really have an idea about this, coz I’ve never seen it with my own eyes, nor comparatively whiffed the air samples from both location before (Ladies vs Gents). But from what I’ve garnered through bits and pieces of information from others, apparently it is most likely to be true.

So, can somebody out there (preferably, a janitor) clarify this ?